Not Suitable For Sensitive Viewers

This is just disturbing. A whole website devoted to bringing you hideous exotic car crashes. There's a whole section on Corvettes. One is a 1967 convertible, and I almost wept at the carnage. Sad. Just Sad. The idiots who leave comments can be a hoot at times, plain old offensive at others.

This is the proverbial car crash, at which you are compelled to look.




Best Comment: "It will polish out"

We Need a Bigger Stick!

Theodore Roosevelt examining sea turtle egg.

For conservation, that is!

Read this disturbing little tidbit, and began to wonder about my favorite president, Teddy Roosevelt.

THE PRESIDENT’S TABLE: Two Hundred Years of Dining and Diplomacy, by Barry H. Landau (Collins/HarperCollins, $34.95), built around the author’s vast collection of presidential memorabilia.

Now we can see what our leaders actually ate: at that 1843 reception for President Tyler, the first course was green turtle soup and boiled fish, followed by ham, corned beef, mutton or “fowls, with oyster sauce.”

Turtle soup remained popular at state dinners through the end of the century, as did oysters and fish, but other fashions depended on political considerations and the tastes of the resident president.

Let's face it. Ted most likely ate sea turtle raw. In his defense, it may not have been recognized as a quickly dwindling species at that point. Plus, he was a hunter who saw the need for land and animal conservation, so he's still tops on my list. See the list below!

National Parks

Crater Lake National Park (OR) - 1902

Wind Cave National Park (SD)- 1903

Sullys Hill (in N.D.)- 1904 (now managed by US Fish & Wildlife Service)

Platt National Park (OK) - 1906 (now part of Chickasaw National Recreation Area)

Mesa Verde National Park (CO)- 1906
Added land to Yosemite National Park (Been here)

National Monuments

Devil's Tower - 1906 (I've been here!)

El Morro - 1906

Montezuma Castle - 1906

Petrified Forest - 1906 (now a National Park)

Chaco Canyon - 1907Lassen Peak - 1907 (now a National Park)

Cinder Cone - 1907 (now part of Lassen Volcanic National Park)

Gila Cliff Dwellings - 1907

Tonto - 1907

Muir Woods - 1908

Grand Canyon - 1908 (now a National Park) Theodore Roosevelt fought unsuccessfully to make it a National Park. (Here too!)

Pinnacles - 1908

Jewel Cave - 1908

Natural Bridges - 1908

Lewis & Clark (MT) - 1908 (later given to the state of Montana)

Tumacacori - 1908

Wheeler (Colorado) - 1908 (given to the Forest Service in 1950)

Mount Olympus - 1909 (now Olympic National Park)

"In the Grand Canyon, Arizona has a natural wonder which is in kind absolutely unparalleled throughout the rest of the world. I want to ask you to keep this great wonder of nature as it now is. I hope you will not have a building of any kind, not a summer cottage, a hotel or anything else, to mar the wonderful grandeur, the sublimity, the great loneliness and beauty of the canyon. Leave it as it is. You cannot improve on it. The ages have been at work on it, and man can only mar it." Theodore Roosevelt

I So Told You So!

If by contributed, you mean caused...

SAN FRANCISCO - One of the three victims of San Francisco Zoo tiger attack was intoxicated and admitted to yelling and waving at the animal while standing atop the railing of the big cat enclosure, police said in court documents filed Thursday.

Paul Dhaliwal, 19, told the father of Carlos Sousa Jr., 17, who was killed, that the three yelled and waved at the tiger but insisted they never threw anything into its pen to provoke the cat, according to a search warrant affidavit obtained by the San Francisco Chronicle.

"As a result of this investigation, (police believe) that the tiger may have been taunted/agitated by its eventual victims," according to Inspector Valerie Matthews, who prepared the affidavit. Police believe that "this factor contributed to the tiger escaping from its enclosure and attacking its victims," she said.

and...

The affidavit also cites multiple reports of a group of young men taunting animals at the zoo, the Chronicle reported.

Mark Geragos, an attorney for the Dhaliwal brothers, did not immediately return a call late Thursday by The Associated Press for comment. He has repeatedly said they did not taunt the tiger.


Now, if there was any justice on this planet (which there sure isn't , and despite what religious leaders may tell you, there's no evidence there is anywhere else, so don't get your hopes up) the city would sue these rich punks for unleashing a dangerous animal and endangering the public. Not to mention hold them responsible for their friend's death, and that of the tiger. But of course not.

The likely outcome? Donald Trump will buy the Zoo land for a song and put up condos. He's laughing in his boardroom right now, standing on a tiger skin rug.

I've Been Reading

Before I Die by Jenny Downham

This book came highly recommended, and I understand some people are using it with Bible Study for their youth groups. I thought the writing was stellar, very lyrical. I didn't get all choked up and cry as I was warned would happen, but since it was a person dying and not an animal, that was pretty much expected. I didn't think it was the greatest, but I did respond to the strong father character, something needed in all mediums. I give it a B.

Born Standing Up by Steve Martin

As a Saturday Night Live fan who thought King Tut was hysterical as a kid, I couldn't wait to read his memoirs of stand-up. He's a highly regarded writer and intellectual, but that didn't seem to be on display much here. I'll have to agree with the summation of Alex Witchel, who concludes the book fails to reveal any of the personal inner workings a memoir is hoped to give. He obviously had a tortured relationship with his father that affected the whole family, but that seems to have been resolved a bit to neatly in the narrative. I'll bet simmering anger did play a role in his choice of career and lifestyle, but to hear him tell it, it was out of sight, out of mind.

If only he had written candidly about his love life! Now there's a book I want to read. As is, this is a good book for anyone contemplating stand up. It spoke about the need to listen, learn, be original and persevere. But it only gets a C. Maybe that was Martin's point. Under it all, he's just average.

As God As My Witness

I'll never buy a Maytag/Whirlpool product again!!*

Yep. 2008 is only hours old and it already sucks. The reign of terror being waged by my appliances continues - some of which refuse to stay fixed, causing me even further trauma. I've been so bummed by the whole thing I haven't had the heart to write.

Came home one night after work and opened the freezer of my Whirlpool refrigerator (now owned by Maytag Corporation) and a drippy mess of defrosted food jeered at me. How long the unit was broke, I don't know, but things were spoiling nicely. I lost a lot of poultry and two gallons of milk. We had to call a repairman to fix a fan and a relay switch.

The next day, the Neptune Dryer decided drying was too much of a bother. Wasn't tumble good enough? I choked back tears as I draped towels throughout the house.

A friend observed my appliance woes were at first memorable, but now....

But now Biblical, I finished for him. Another offered to 'send lettuce' to the fridge's funereal. Thanks folks. You're the only thing keeping me sane as I eat energy bars with warm diet soda while wearing damp socks.

Maytag Sucks!!!!!!

*they need to make a commemorative plate of all my appliances breaking. Maybe the Maytag repairman laughing at a strip club while ignoring his pager or something...

Widgets are Wonderful !!

Wow, check out the new Shelfari display to the left!! Cool, huh? Now I can feature all the books read in 2008!! (I will also count audio books).

Schulz and Peanuts by David Michaelis

This was an awesomely researched piece, and I agreed with most of the author's speculations. However, I think he was a bit too kind, mostly due to the fact that some of his children agreed to be interviewed for the book. I really think the man hated his own children, and this was only hinted at in the book. Was this a strange carry-over from the animosity he felt towards his wife? Denial that he was an adult and no longer a child himself? The author notes he was delighted at the birth of his first child, but then later noted the anger he displayed when playing hockey with a son. I guess that was pretty much the thesis of the whole book: duplicity and enigma. Excellent psychological study. B+

The Adventures of the Thunderbolt Kid by Bill Bryson

I would buy this man's "History of the Paperclip". He's that good! Just proof positive that nothing has changed in 50 years here. We are still facing the same challenges, only worse. B+

The Subtle Knife by Philip Pullman (Audio, narrated by Philip Pullman)

Now that I know he used Paradise Lost as his means to create this title, I'm waiting for the big letdown. This was good, but not a stand-alone. Please don't disappoint me Phil! I'm moving on to The Amber Spyglass next.

More Tiger Tales

...He said when we left the zoo, 'The next time, let's see the penguins being fed instead of a tiger eating a woman.' I did not want to scare him by saying that this was unusual."

Speculation continues to swirl around the tiger attack at the San Francisco Zoo. I expect any day now to see an auction notice in the San Francisco Chronicle detailing used camels up for bid and listing the penguins as a lot....

The whole incident once again proves that you don't have to run faster than a tiger, just faster than your slowest friend.

The first attack happened right outside the tiger’s enclosure — Sousa died at the scene. Another was about 300 yards away, in front of the zoo cafe. The police chief said the animal was mauling one of the survivors, and when officers yelled at it to stop, it turned toward them and they opened fire.

So... let me get this straight...

The police commanded the tiger to stop mauling? Then used lethal force? Wow, that's more than most human offenders get! Wonder how a tiger responds to a taser?

Wait! Did they yell at the tiger in English? Spanish? Everyone knows you should yell at a Siberian Tiger in her native Yupik, right?

And this is just disgusting!! Right when you get your hopes up that natural selection works, comes this disturbing (albeit expected) news:

The brothers who survived the vicious tiger attacks at San Francisco Zoo last week have hired legal pit bull Mark Geragos in anticipation of filing a lawsuit against the zoo.

Geragos, who is known for his roster of high-profile clients from Michael Jackson and Winona Ryder to Scott Peterson and Susan McDougal, is already making claims about what he says is the zoo's "utter disregard for safety." His new clients, brothers Paul and Kulbir Dhaliwal, were released from San Francisco General Hospital Saturday and are recovering from injuries sustained in the attack that killed their friend, Carlos Sousa Jr.

"There are some very disturbing facts yet to come out about what happened," Geragos told ABCNews.com. "One of the brothers had absolutely no reason to be attacked. After Carlos was attacked, this brother ran to the zoo café and they would not let him in. The same guys who sold him nachos wouldn't let him back in. They locked the doors. Thirty minutes later, he was attacked by the tiger."

Ok, so if that's true, the tiger had to hunt him down to attack a second time. So exactly how bad did they taunt her? Thirty minutes and he can't find anywhere else to hide? Suing the zoo? They should file a counter suit. This is ridiculous.

Oh, Please!

You weren't even with your mistress that much...

"This is not a mayor or a governor or a president who's sitting in an ivory tower. I was at Ground Zero as often, if not more, than most of the workers," Rudy Giuliani


According to Salon.com:
By our count, Giuliani spent about 58 hours at Yankees games or flying to them in the 40 days between Sept. 25 and Nov. 4, roughly twice as long as he spent at ground zero in the 90 days between Sept. 17 and Dec. 16. By his own standard, Giuliani was one of the Yankees more than he was one of the rescue workers.

Why Me???

With 20.9" of snow at Midway Airport as of 9 p.m. on Dec. 31, December 2007 becomes the city's seventh snowiest December since 1928. O'Hare's Dec. 31 snow total of 3.0" ranks as the greatest on that date in 23 years.

The storm marked the 14th snowfall in December, making the month one of Chicago's snowiest ever. The monthly snowfall is 13.7 inches, more than double the 30-year average of 6.6 inches for December, according to the National Weather Service. Areas north of the city reported the greatest snowfall, with 4.3 inches in Grayslake and almost 6 inches near Rockford. The storm tapered off south of the city and in northwest Indiana.

Will I even live to see February???

After Christmas Sales?

As a professional shopper, I'd like to hit a few after-Christmas sales. Perhaps there's a discount for items with powder-burn?

Sorry, but mall shootings don't deter me, just like automobile crashes don't stop me from enjoying my cars. If I die shopping or driving, I died doing what made me happy, and that's all that counts. Besides, you can get killed anywhere nowadays... like at church!

Coincidence? I Think Not!

Just when I thought I would create a post about how 24-year-old women are an endangered species in the northwest suburbs, comes this news: a missing Des Plaines woman did not disappear due to foul play, but rather ran off with another man!

A woman who returned to the area after her disappearance last week set off a $250,000 search will not face criminal charges, authorities said Monday.

Solanki, of unincorporated Des Plaines, returned to the Chicago area Friday, four days after her family found her car running with the door open near a dam on the Des Plaines River.

She told her husband, Dignesh, she was going to the river to dispose of a broken religious idol after getting off work as a cashier at a nearby hotel gift shop. He said he became worried when he couldn't reach her several hours later and, along with a friend, discovered her car.

Over the next several days, police divers spent hours in the river looking for her. Investigators combed the surrounding forest preserve using cadaver-sniffing dogs.

Solanki told investigators she was unhappy in her marriage, but her husband was not abusive or cruel, authorities said. She had begun the 30-hour drive to California with a friend, Karan C. Jani, 23, seeking a clean break, officials said.

Jani saw news reports about her disappearance and emotional appeals from her family and encouraged her to turn around.

Solanki told authorities she never meant to deceive anyone or make people believe she had fallen into the river.

What I want to know is, how much did Drew Peterson pay her to stage this stunt??

Saving the World One Consumer at a Time

Why I Hate Christmas, Part II

So I'm in the local Target (pronounced Tar-shay, as if you were somewhere high-class) looking for a DVD player for my parents. After the fiasco of getting them cell phones I've learned anything more complex than two cans and a string is to be avoided.

The store is packed with people who think this is an upscale shopping establishment, and staffed by employees with IQs below room temperature. I'm browsing the DVD aisle hoping to find a Fisher-Price DVD player or My First Movie-Watcher or something when I hear two women discussing a discount DVD player.

"Don't buy Trutech!" I practically shout. Startled, they look at me with fear. "Trutech sucks!! Don't do it!" I beg. "You'll be sorry," I add ominously.

Warily, without breaking eye contact, they back away a few steps. "Here, try this Phillips*," I suggest, pushing the box towards them. Not wishing to antagonize me further, they meekly take the box and scamper away.

Whew! Disaster averted. I put the Phillips in my cart as well. Do they sell washing machines here?

*Yeah, I know. Made in China. Find one that isn't.

Go Ahead, Maytag, Make My Day

Gosh, it seems I'm not the only lonely little voice out in the blogosphere speaking out against coporate crimes of indifference - check out this site!

A landmark house under restoration in the Ridgeville Historic District in Evanston, Illinois has been badly damaged by Benjamin Moore paint. The historic home, built on land used by Evanston’s first settlers as a graveyard, and which also served as Evanston’s first schoolhouse in the late 1800s, is one of the City’s most prominent and visible buildings. Designed by the noted
19th Century architect Carbys Zimmerman, the 7,000 square foot shingle style home has been under restoration by the current owners for the last 15 years, who intend to return it to its original 19th Century grandeur.

As part of the restoration process, the home was recently re-shingled. A highly regarded vintage home specialist, professional Painters of Lisle, IL, was brought in to finish the exterior; the paint was Benjamin Moore. Tony Severino, owner of Professional Painters, in paraphrase, said, “After decades painting homes, I have come to trust Benjamin Moore paints so much that I insisted on using Benjamin Moore on my own mother’s house. Moore’s reputation is impeccable and I wouldn’t think of using anything else on such an important project as the old Ridgeville Schoolhouse. Imagine my embarrassment when, after six months, the paint began to peel from the shingles, and soon thereafter, the rich chocolate brown began to fade. Now, just a couple of years later, the house and its fence is peeling everywhere and the color has almost turned
pink! I am shocked.”

Representatives from Benjamin Moore examined the
paint and proclaimed it to be absolutely free from defect, explaining that the problem must be related to some problem in the 120 year old house itself, though the house has always had a painted exterior without incident. The suspect paint has since been sent to two independent laboratories for analysis, and, as
expected, both laboratories’ reports conclude that the paint, itself, was defective and the cause of the problem.

Despite the conclusions of two independent labs, Benjamin Moore continues to deny responsibility for the damage
to the old Ridgeville Schoolhouse, and has offered a series of bizarre explanations for the paint failure, all contrary to the lab results. The house, now a public eyesore (see photos), is adorned with banners proclaiming “This is Benjamin Moore Quality”. When asked to comment, the owners said,
“We were happy to use Benjamin Moore paint because Moore is said to be the best on the market, and this is obviously a very special house. It’s a shame that Benjamin Moore’s public image is so different from its reality. Who would have ever thought that a company owned by Warren Buffet would behave this
way.”

Astonishingly, though the paint has apparently been withdrawn from the market by Benjamin Moore, the company insists that the reason for the peeling and fading is not paint defect. To Benjamin Moore, it seems that it might be more plausible that the cause has something to do with the backyard graveyard
than with the paint!

and this:

Benjamin Moore has now sued us for “defamation and commercial disparagement” of their company, based on the content of this website and on the banner on the exterior of our house. Evidently Benjamin Moore does not think that we have the right to tell the truth about what has happened to our house,
or about their defective paint. However, the law is quite clear - the standard of defamation is “…proof that the publication was false, and that the defendant (me) either knew it to be false, or, believing it to be true, lacked reasonable grounds for that belief.”

Just in case anyone has a doubt about this, I will state my position here. We have no reason to doubt the conclusions of the two independent laboratory reports, both of which state that the failure of the paint is due to defective paint. This position is also supported by many painting professionals who have seen the house and have made the same conclusion. In the interest of complete disclosure, to this point, I have received a possibly contrary opinion from only one person, who told me that painting a house is almost always a losing proposition, especially in a climate like Chicago’s. His position seems to be that even good paint peels in these conditions – though he could not provide any explanation for why the paint failed on so many differently prepared surfaces, nor why it faded. The reports,
along with the opinions of so many professionals, easily outweigh the opinion of Benjamin Moore, especially because Moore clearly has its own interest in mind, while essentially every other voice on this matter has nothing to gain, or lose,
from their opinion.

Why I Hate Christmas

So I'm at my favorite book store spending way too much money on books and DVDs (as one former retailer quipped, "Just once, I'd like to work at a book store that just sells books") and I walk out without taking advantage of their Free Gift Wrapping service.

What's the point of spending all that dough if you're not getting every last bit of your due? I resolve to get my money's worth next time.

So the next visit I make a beeline for the gift-wrap table. Some bored teens are sitting next to a coffee can seeking donations for their civic group. I put in a $1.30 and hand them two books. Nice, basic, rectangular, rather thin volumes. In the world of wrapping - shooting fish in a barrel.

Apparently these kids were from Scout Troop I Dont Giva Crapa or the Ambisinistrous Society or something, as I have never seen such lousy wrapping in all my life. I was totally ashamed as they handed me back the crunchy-ended packages (it's ok to CUT the paper to SIZE, morons!). The girl did no better than the boy, so there was no gender bias.

I should have snatched back my bill on the way out. What is this planet coming to?

There were adults supervising the kids a few feet away, if you call having a cappuccino and yakking with another bored mom 'adult supervision'.

Did we not have a little training session before letting the wee monsters loose? Did we flunk cut and tape in Kindergarten? If this is the best your group can produce, it doesn't deserve to be a club that raises money in this manner. I should have complained to the bookstore so they could 'uninvite' this crew next year.

To my friends: sorry for the ugly packages. I'll shop elsewhere in the future.

Putting the No in NORAD

Just in case you were wondering how that guy in the red suit flew over protected airspace....

WASHINGTON - The US Air Force has grounded its entire fleet of F-15s, the service's premier fighter aircraft, after one of the planes disintegrated over eastern Missouri during a training mission, raising the possibility of a fatal flaw in the aging fighters' fuselage that could keep it out of the skies for months.

So Tempted

A local school district is looking for community input regarding a mascot and school colors for their new North High School.

Since the only reason this shiny new school is needed is my arch-nemisis, Rampant Development, I can't help but want to weigh in with a few suggestions.

School colors Gold and Red - Gold for the Century 21 Real Estate jackets and red for the bloodshed of the developers as they fought to put in the highest-desity housing imaginable at the greatest loss of trees and wildlife. What's the opposite of 'green'? Black? Yellow and Black, then.

The mascot should be a greedy developer with little devil horns and a tear by his eye. He can be turning his empty pockets out as he sobs that he has no money to give to the schools because he spent it all on curbs and cul-de-sacs for his sub-standard contracting. Boo-Hoo. We can call the team the Whining Rich White Guys or something.

Kids love animals - perhaps the mascot could be a deer with a little hobo bandana on a stick as he is driven from his woodland home, now paved over with asphault and traffic lights. We could call him Displaced Buck, a nod to how all the money in town went to giving the developer and big-box stores tax breaks rather than textbooks for the kids.

I'm So Going to Do This

ASHLAND, Oregon (AP) -- Friends of Chet Fitch may be surprised to be getting holiday cards from him this year.

Patty Dean shows a greeting card that friend Chet Fitch asked her to send on his behalf after he died.

He died in October at the age of 88.

But for years, the Oregon man -- who was known for his sense of humor -- had been planning one final joke, with the help of his barber.

He'd written Christmas cards to his friends and gave them to barber Patty Dean for mailing after he died. He kept the mailing list updated, and gave her more money when postal rates went up.

Dean tells an Ashland, Oregon, newspaper (the Daily Tidings) that a few months ago, Fitch told her that she'd probably be able to mail the cards this year. He died a week later.

The cards carry a return address of "Heaven."

In them, Fitch wrote, "I asked Big Guy if I could sneak back and send some cards" -- and that "Big Guy" finally agreed. He said, "Wish I could tell you about things here but words cannot explain."

He concluded, "I'll probably be seeing you -- some sooner than you think" -- and signed it, "Wishing you a very Merry Christmas. Chet Fitch."

Goodbye 2007 and Good Riddance

This is where I’m supposed to say how did the year fly by?…

At least that’s how every one of the seventeen Christmas Letters I received this season started. Maybe for people who aren’t locked in a life-and-death struggle with their electronic equipment the year flew by; but when you’re on hold, time creeps at an agonizing pace to the tune of Kula Lumpar’s Top Forty.

While all my friends were out organizing a breast cancer walk, sending their baby off to first grade/college, and had spouses inducted to the bowling hall of fame, I was slaving over a dial-up connection to bring my much-needed opinion to the masses. Who by and large, didn’t appreciate a darn bit of it.

I got so depressed I called the LifeLine hotline, and as usual, found myself in a phone queue somewhere in downtown Islamabad. I told the heavily accented operator that I was feeling suicidal, hopeless and depressed. He became very excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

Just once I want my photo to appear on the cover of a tabloid magazine above the caption “Dangerously Thin”. Is that really too much to ask? The only eating disorder I’ll ever have to deny is gluttony.

While everyone else gushes about how Junior is on the honor roll, varsity team and otherwise the embodiment of Eddie Haskel, I’m getting sarcastic text messages from my cat: 2na Agn? Our dimwitted dog has yet to learn to avoid skunks, and has used up all my baking soda and patience.

Not once in 2007 was I the subject of a DesPlaines River search or the victim of a tiger attack. However, Al did fall off a ladder while hanging holiday lights. Fortunately, we have a one story house and he was not seriously injured. (I still think the cat pushed him).

A Hollywood writer’s strike has ground TV show productions to a halt, only further emphasizing how sorely the world needs my comedic skills.

Here’s to a better 2008! It won’t take much.

What's in a Name?

Hmmm… Any relation?

If you’ve been anywhere but under a rock for the past few months, you most likely are familiar with the sad case of the 24-year-old missing mom, Stacey Peterson. As I live in the area, you’ll have to take my word for it when I say coverage has been INTENSE. As in, “Stacey’s last grocery list found!!” and “Drew’s third wife’s second cousin once-removed speaks!!”

So the fact that I was spending yet another night in front of the info-tainment that passes as my local news watching some new “clue” exposed was no surprise.

The anchor was discussing rumors that neighbors might have seen Drew taking a large blue barrel or tub – that could have weighed 115 pounds!- from the house. Right then, the image on the screen changes to that of men in white haz-mat suits pushing a BLUE BARREL on wheels while the voice-over is President Bush declaring Iran is still a threat whether they have nuclear materials or not!

It suddenly hit me. We have to go to war with Iran to save Stacy Peterson!!! It’s that simple, folks. What are you, against motherhood?

Coincendence? I Think Not!

RAWALPINDI, Pakistan -

Enraged crowds rioted across Pakistan and hopes for democracy hung by a thread after Benazir Bhutto was gunned down Thursday as she waved to supporters from the sunroof of her armored vehicle. The death of President Pervez Musharraf's most powerful opponent threw the nation into chaos just 12 days before elections, and threatened its already unsteady role as a key fighter against Islamic terror.

Wow, what are the chances al-Qaida would be linked to a spectacular act of terrorism days before the Iowa caucauses?

Tiger: 0 Stupid Humans:3

Tatiana

June 27, 2003-December 25, 2007

Oh, where to start with this fiasco? Poor Tatiana the beautiful Siberian Tiger was senselessly slain Christmas night. The unarmed feline was gunned down by four uniformed police officers who emptied their guns into her tawny fur. Her crime? Being a tiger.

First, the zoo was fined $18K over an incident whereby Tatiana ripped a female zookeeper’s arm open during ‘public feeding time’.

“The California Division of Occupation Safety and Health said the zoo was responsible for the incident because Komejan was inadequately trained for the task and the cages were set up in a manner that facilitated the attack.”


So… they closed down the exhibit for three months. (And hopefully made a note that Tatiana didn’t ‘play well with others’.) Now this tragedy occurs.

Currently it is under investigation as to how Tatiana escaped. Preliminary findings indicate it was not keeper error; the doors were closed and locked.

That leaves the cat leaping a 20 ft. moat / scaling an18 ft. wall… or the cat being assisted out of the cage – either by humans or poor cage design.

Wait! This just in! The 13 ft. wall was three feet below the minimum height recommended by the Association of Zoos and Aquariums!! This contradicts the San Francisco Chronicle’s report of 18 ft high!!

“Since the investigation began Tuesday, officials have given at least five different measurements for the enclosure”, I thought they had re-vamped the enclosure; this report claims it dates to the 1940s! (Tigers didn’t do steroids then)

Whatever the cause, Tatiana killed one young man and pursued his two friends some 300 yards to maul them as well. Now zoo animals are very well fed; and the tiger wasn’t munching on the first guy, or hiding the body away for later, but continued to attack, so let’s conclude this wasn’t hunger.

That leaves anger.

Seems to me the fact that the tiger ONLY attacked three that were visiting the zoo together could be a) opportunity: they were the only spectators near the enclosure b) selection.

I pick b.

Do not taunt the tiger, idiots! Did you not hear what happened to Roy Horn? Police are now investigating a footprint at the scene.

The exact sequence of events may never be known, and “sources close to the investigation tell The Chronicle that the surviving brothers have not been entirely forthcoming during interviews with police”.

Marian Roth-Cramer recalled the day she and her son, who was 4 or 5, visited the tiger exhibit in 1997.

"My son had his hands on the metal bar,"
said the San Francisco woman, a children's dance and family programs coordinator at a branch of the YMCA. "All of a sudden, I saw the tiger leap over the moat, put a paw on the dirt (and hang on). I screamed and grabbed my son."

The animal slid away. She turned to a zookeeper and asked if he'd seen what she had.

His reply: "She always does that. She hates my guts."

She wrote a letter to David Anderson, the zoo director at the time, about the incident and canceled her membership. She said she never got a reply.

Peace On Earth, Goodwill to Lizard Kind

How many times do I have to tell you, Don't Get My Hopes Up!!

Two Lizards Tinkering

O! You better watch out!

You better not cry

Better not pout

I'm telling you why…

Tainted Toys are coming

to your town!

They’ll poison you while you’re sleeping,

The Saftey Seal’s a fake…

They’ll toxify you to your toes

Cause dangerous is all they make!

The CEOs making a list,

And checking it twice;

Gonna find out whose

labor rates are nice.

Tainted Toys are coming

to your town!

The sweat shop’s working when

you are sleeping

And even times when

you're awake…

The orphan knows that

bad or good

He’s working a 16 hour shift,

for goodness sake!

You might want to pass

On gift-giving this year,

Haven’t got a chance with

the lax FDA here…

Tainted Toys are coming …

Tainted Toys are coming

to town!

This year’s card is brought to you by:
Ma-Tell You Months After We Knew There Was a Problem
and Cheaper-Price Toys.

Copyright 2007
Dressed Dragons Productions

Wish I'd Said That Half as Well

Gosh, here's some surprising news: Stephen King wrote an insightful review about the Clapton autobiography that expresses everything I wanted to say only about 50 million times better. (But really now, can the man dress up dragons?) Read the review here.

Excerpt:"...and the result is an honorable badge of a book. He may not have the skill of a Mary Karr or Frank McCourt, but I’m sure he writes better than most memoirists play guitar."

Can't Lay Off Just One!

Jays To Close South Side Potato Chip Plant

Company Facing Bankruptcy, 220 Jobs Will Be Cut

CHICAGO (STNG) ― Jays Foods Inc. will permanently close its plant on 99th Street on Wednesday, displacing about 220 union employees, the company told union workers Monday.

Not-So-Supra

I know this is really old news,

but I did want to point out this

horrible example of Auto Abuse.

Very sad.

Rust In Peace

Read the latest here and here

O Why Not?

So I tried to donate blood the other day. Let’s face it, that’s the only nice, self-sacrificing thing I would ever do for another human being.

That’s only because:

A) Blood is self-renewing when taken in small amounts
B) It’s relatively painless and not terribly time-consuming
C) It goes to another human only because interspecies blood transfusions don’t work, otherwise I would have insisted mine go to Barbaro the racehorse.

First off, the nurse quizzes me about my weight. Of course, I give her my Driver License weight. You know, the fantasy weight you wished you were at 16 when they first issued you the license. I think my eye color changes more than that first weight figure. As I’ve noted before, they should consider this a real source of revenue down at the DMV. Just put up big signs – Eye Tests, Photos, Weigh Station… then tell people for an additional $20 they’ll put any 3 digit number on you like.

The nurse looks at me with skepticism. Are you sure? Well, uh, maybe ____ (I admit to ten pounds more). Why? She explains they take less blood from lighter people and some aren’t allowed to donate at all. She thought I was too slight? Woo hoo! I will have that juice and cookie, thank you! I think the cutoff was 110 lbs or something. I assure her I’m in no danger of failing the parameters and she proceeds with a finger stick.

So they tell me I’m one lousy point too low in iron to donate! As someone who consumes so much red meat the danger of Mad Cow disease is a greater than anemia, I find this very hard to believe. Finding rust in my blood seemed more likely. Dejected, I shuffle out. The least they could have done was give me an “I Tried to Give” sticker with a little sickle cell cartoon figure on it or something.

Great. Now I’ll have to give money to that creepy bell-ringer in front of the grocery or something.

Does Rachel Ray Call Her Mother?

Actual Conversation

Me: Wish me luck, I’m cooking salmon for the fist time.

Mom: Is it fresh or frozen?

Me: Fresh? That’s for rich people. I guess it was fresh when it was full price. By the time I came along and found it on the clearance rack it had already spawned…

Mom: Do you write this stuff down? It’s pretty funny.

I've Been...

I’ve been reading and watching plenty of great things, what with my computer being down and all, so I’d like to try and recap a few here. Do weigh in with what you’re currently enjoying – I’d love to hear from you. Here’s a link where you can buy cool T-Shirts like “Guess What I’m Reading” and “Read Irresponsibly”.

I’m researching which reader’s shelf website to go with for my blog. I’ll try to have something up by the new year and start one where just the things read that year will reside as a widget of some sort on my side bar.

Reading:

Super Crunchers: Why Thinking By the Numbers is the New Way to Be Smart
by Ian Ayres
Cool look at how those billions of terabytes regarding my shopping habits are helping the evil superstores guide my every move. Fun and educational! I give it an A.

The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian
By Sherman Alexie
My pick for YA book of the year about a teenage boy on a Reservation who aspires, and how the cards are stacked against aspirations, no matter what they might be. A.

I Am America and So Can You
by Stephen Colbert
It’s no America the Book. C+

Clapton the Autobiography
Good, but of course I wanted a tell-all with more name-dropping. Still, if he truly is in recovery, this is a great achievement. He spent enough on therapy to get to the point where he knows what his problems are, and I do hope he is overcoming them. B

Our Dumb World – The Onion
Funniest thing I’ve ever seen. I’m deep-green with envy. A+

All The Rage
By Aaron McGruder
Loved it! Wish he were still doing the strip. Flagee and Ribbon were pure genius. B+

Listening:

The Golden Compass
(Audio, narrated by author Phillip Pullman)
What can I say? This is a very ‘different’ read for youngsters, and I’m reserving final judgment until I finish the His Dark Materials trilogy. So far, I’m impressed. It’s so refreshing to see a child protagonist that is not an orphan. (That’s so Disney. Or horribly Harry.) On the contrary, Lyra’s parents are supposedly live and well – and total jerks that want to use her to advance their own diametrical causes. There’s lots of cloak and dagger, and a Snow Leopard thrown in for good measure. Lyra herself has more than a few flaws, as do the people she encounters. I’m awaiting what the summation will be, as the books are taking some big digs at religion. After all the Lord of the Rings and Narnia dogma will this be a departure? Or will it rush back at the end? I’m now working on The Subtle Knife, and I don’t think that’s as powerful as the first one, but I’m not quite done. A-

Introducing Joss Stone
Love her voice, but hated these songs. Sorry. C+

Raising Sand – Robert Plant and Alison Krauss
Despite my initial misgivings, I really like this album! What saved it for me were the instrumental arrangements – very Strange Sensation. As for the chick, she can stay home next time. Just Robert. All Robert. B

Watching:

Pride and Prejudice with Colin Firth
Excellent! What’s not to like? Costumes. British Accents. A few horses. Oh, and just show me an English Country manor and I’ll show you acceptance to your marriage proposal so fast it’d make your head spin! A

Bleak House with Gillian Anderson
Nothing says ‘snowy weekend’ like a 32-part BBC miniseries!
And you thought Gillian Anderson was just some hot flashlight-wielding FBI agent chasing aliens in high heels? Well, she’s also a hot chick hiding a deep, dark, only offensive to the British aristocracy-type secret, too! A

The Mist
This was a Twilight Zone episode that stretched to two hours, and bore no resemblance to the Stephen King short story. It was one of those movies where you shout out directions to the imbeciles on the screen who are, of course, going to go into the dark basement alone. If nothing else, it confirmed what I always suspected. If any crisis happens, I want my friend Louise at my side. She wouldn’t have put up with Preachy Lady either, and we both would have spent some time THINKING things through. At least it didn’t have a happy ending. C.

Steg-a-Score-us!

Found this adorable plush dino at a restaurant gift shop and decided to buy his little friend the Woolly Mammoth, too! I did a Dinosaur display on my mantle that looked very nice. I put the mammoth off to the side, over on the stereo, since I wanted to include him but am a bit of a purist when it comes to large mammals shown alongside dinosaurs. (Please ignore the fact that I totally mixed eras on the dinosaurs.)

I don’t have an Ice Age genre yet, so do let me know if you see a nice Saber-Toothed Tiger or Dyer Wolf anywhere. Cavemen need not apply.

Go Green, Young Man!

Saving the Planet - One Super Car at a Time

Check out Jay Leno's new wheels!
600 HP, 585 lb torque - and - the ability to run on E85 fuel! Awesome!!

Ok, it's a beautiful car, I want one, I want to protect the environment, reduce dependence on foreign oil, etc. etc., but I still think we're being sold a phony bill of goods on E85.

I mean, more cornfields? Yes!!

But of course it is our government bureaucrats and a few factory farm owners that will benefit, not small farmers. Plus, it's very costly to create and there are much better choices for alternative fuels and modes of transportation.

That said, I'd be happy to do my part by driving one of these lovely Vettes and using 105 octane E85 to save the environment.

One muscle car at a time.

Here I am Lounging About the House

Hey, I'm getting better at this photoshop thing already!

Cold-Blooded Humor

Veni, Vidi, Grande Visa

We came, we saw, we shopped at a really big mall.

As aforementioned, Al and I took a trip to Minnesota to check out a museum exhibit on Pompeii and the Underwater Adventures Aquarium which just happens to be conveniently located in the basement of the Mall of America. I find the six-hour drive up there to be very scenic and relaxing – or, perhaps it’s just knowing the destination. One of those. No, really, it’s a nice drive. Too bad we didn’t get our acts together earlier in the season when we could have taken the Vette, as parking was pretty safe around there.

The first day we set off around 4 a.m. and arrived at our hotel around 10 a.m. Right as we crossed the border into Minnesota there was a short burst of snow flurries! Nice place, Minnesota. If only it were warmer! I couldn’t even hear the desk clerk as they were doing a huge renovation on the hotel and I canceled my reservation right then and there! I saw an Embassy Suites across the way and headed there instead. I’ve heard rave reviews about their chain, and was willing to pay extra for a romantic weekend getaway. Mistake!

Oh, I paid extra all right. However, two elevators were not working. Since the hotel was at near-capacity, things became a horrible mess. Seems the State Girls Volleyball tournament players were all staying at that hotel, making the complementary breakfast bar a total madhouse in the mornings. The food offerings were fantastic, but the lines, crowds, and lack of seating were very off-putting. The pool and fitness rooms were great, but crowded.

They had this ‘free drinks’ from 5-7 p.m. offer. Now usually I’m not a drinker, but when suddenly faced with ‘free’ and trying to get my over-priced rate’s worth, I suddenly become Lindsay Lohan’s BFF. The hotel room itself was a suite, but the bathroom was way too small. I’ll try a Hilton next time! This would have been a nice place to stay during a quiet weekday, but I was not happy with our visit, and I didn’t even see one of those little comment cards where I could express my dissatisfaction. I’ll have to find something online…

Anyhoo… we made it to the museum and saw the ruins of Pompeii. I overheard a curator telling some visitors about how a child ran into one of the glass cases and bumped a ring loose, causing it to fall to the bottom of the display. They had to shut the exhibit down and call Italy. They then sent photos of the damage, and their plan of action for repair. Once they obtained their permission, the exhibit was restored and reopened to the public.

The day we were there a group of little cub scouts was wreaking havoc on the exhibit. Once again I would like to call for “Adult Thursdays” at museums and zoos. I’ll gladly pay extra!!!

I didn’t get to see any mosaics, but they did have some genuine frescos on display that were very impressive. (No photography allowed, so sorry-no pictures) I didn’t expect to be moved by the exhibit, but the final room was very emotional – the plaster casts made from impressions left behind after victim’s bodies had decomposed in the lava and ash. These white casts were placed on little lava stone beds for display, like a big barbecue grill. There were various poses of “trying to cover up” as the smoke and ash suffocated them. Every person was very small – not even as large as me. There was also a pig and a dog. Poor doggie! I can recall seeing pictures of the dog cast in a history book as a child, and that’s what prompted me to seek out the exhibit. The dog still had his collar on, but there’s no telling if he was tied up at the time of death. He obviously died in great pain.

Awww... according to this source, he was chained up

Another sad case was the guy crawling face down – still tethered by the manacles on his feet! I can just see his rich slave-owning masters taking the last chariot out of town the day before, telling him to stay behind and make sure no lava comes in the living room.

Of course, the feeling of “This is So Hurricane Katrina” permeated the whole experience for me. Anyone with any sense or resources had already left town with whatever valuables they could carry. I can just imagine some slave agitator telling everyone how the god Vulcan hates indentured servants…

We then toured the dinosaur floor where I saw my first Triceratops! Fafner is the largest and most complete Triceratops skeleton ever found. The fossil was dedicated in 1966 during the intermission of an opera program where Friedelind Wagner, granddaughter of Richard Wagner, sang at the St. Paul Arts and Science Center. I was surprised to see how close those two huge spear-like horns jutting from his skull were to each other. I guess I expected a broad forehead between them, like a longhorn cow. The hips were amazing, this high pelvic girdle supported by massive femurs.

They had this tiny little picture depicting how small this massive animal’s brain was, and I couldn’t help but think this must be some dig about how stupid dinosaurs must have been. I love how human-centric our race is, how vain. First off, how do we know they didn’t have higher-order thought processes or skills that were somehow not related to brain case size? Secondly, even if they were just lumbering eating machines, who are we to say they did not lead happy productive lives? They ran the planet for millions of years, and the smart money says Homo Sapiens isn’t going to make it to their 100,000th birthday. So there. Big brain = big destruction.

They also had a juvenile Allosaurs and a huge Diplodocus. There was a cast of a Stegasaurus, but that didn’t impress me in the least. I want to see real fossils!!! I also took the opportunity to play ‘stump the staff” when I saw an old guy over by the Ask a Palentologist booth. I asked why they didn’t have the Allosaur dated with the new technology to see how old it was. He didn’t really know, said it was a new thing. Guess it’s costly or something.

We Exited Through the Gift Shop of course, and I could have spent the whole trip’s budget right there. In retrospect, I should have. They had way better stuff than the Mall. I got an Egyptian candle holder with 3 cobras and some Pompeii magnets. Lots of other cool stuff I left behind, unfortunately. Oh, well.

The next day we got to the Mall right when it opened so we could stand in line with thousands of screaming kids awaiting entry to the Aquarium.

When we finally approached the ticket booth, I was informed that the ‘feed the sea turtle’ tickets were all sold out. Devastated, I booked a Behind the Scenes Tour as consolation. The first part of the Aquarium was really cheesey, very mall-like experience where you walked past some turtles and alligators in display tanks amid phony foliage. Very tacky. The true aquarium part started when entering a tunnel that had tanks to left and right, with an arched ceiling of glass that allowed the fish to swim above spectators.

There weren’t any spectacular sharks, but they did have three sea turtles, two loggerhead and a Ridley’s. One had deformed flippers, and obviously could not survive in the wild, whereas the others didn’t have obvious health problems that I could detect. Any sea turtle in an aquarium is one that cannot be released, so I am sure there were reasons for their residency.

The behind the scenes tour was conducted by a college intern who was getting her degree in marine biology and she did a great job of showing us the lab and kitchen areas. The sea turtles are fed squid stuffed with broccoli, which didn’t sound bad. Everything is restaurant quality food, so I can only imagine the cost. (Lord knows my $24.95 admission certainly helped out…)

Viewed from above, the aquarium was almost a circle, with pie-slice dividers separating each of the categories of fish: Freshwater, Amazon Basin, Saltwater, etc. There were also quarantine tanks for any sick fish. One sea turtle was recovering from a shell injury (there was putty in the cracks on her back) and two stingrays were expecting. They give birth to live pups, and were in a small round holding tub. Fish were fed by offering food on long poles on certain days. Fish rising on the wrong feeding schedule were denied food. This was unlike the set up at the Shedd where I understand each fish is cued by a symbol on a card for feeding. There may have been fewer varieties here, thus the need for complex turn-taking unnecessary.

After playing Stump the Staff for a bit, we Exited Through Gift Shop where I promptly bought a bunch of cool stuffed sea life toys: Morray Eel, Sea Horse and an octopus. It was supposed to be 20% off one toy, but I got 20% off each! Also scored a sea turtle candle holder.

Entered the Mall and started methodically walking each level. Most stores were chains you could shop anywhere in America, and that was very disappointing. Last visit, there were more independent locals. One neat place was Lake Woebegone, after the whole Garrison Kellior creation. They had all his stuff on tape and CD, plus books and other radio plays, Minnesota souvenirs, etc. I bought some audio tapes of his stories and had a nice time browsing. There was also a shoe store that I can’t recall the name of, so I can’t say if it was a chain or not. I’m guessing it was. They had the most magnificent shoes on earth, and the only thing between me and the boots of my dreams was about $450. A woman who looked like Jennifer Anniston was actually buying items, and her friend had on a gorgeous coat that must have cost several hundred dollars as well. I slunk out before anyone could smell “Macys” on me.

Al dutifully walked after me carrying bags, despite my offer to drop him off at Lego Land or the Mini-Putt. There was an amusement park at the center of the Mall, but the water rides were closed. Another cool gimmick was a NASCAR simulator where you paid to sit in a car to play a driving video game. Al didn’t try it to my surprise. Guess he didn’t want to humiliate all those other losers. Auto racing lost a huge star since Al was never exposed to auto racing as a kid. He’s really good at it, and with the right opportunity could have made a career out of his behavior that is so rude on public roadways.

Found a J. Crew store and scored a grey wool skirt for $40. Yay! Also bought a grey sweater vest, a black turtleneck, a white turtleneck, a blue sweater and a $15 summer dress. Not much else, the one jacket I wanted at Nordstrom’s Rack wasn’t my size and I was heartbroken the whole day.

Ended up closing the Mall and ate dinner at the Rainforest Café as that was the only thing left open near our parking spot. Would have preferred to try Bubba Gump, but that was not to be. Maybe next time. I really don’t have any reason to go back to this mall. My next shopping pilgrimage will be to the outlet stores of Aurora, but I want to wait for spring.

Pot, Meet Kettle

American newspaper headline:

“Mexico officials did little to prepare for known flood threat”.

“Really?,” replied the citizens of New Orleans.

Foil Metal Jacket

Not only do I fear family gatherings and most other social obligations, I also hate the obligatory ‘dish to pass’. I dread any type of cooking or preparing. Couple that with the chance to showcase my total lack of culinary skills to the public, and voila! A recipe for disaster.

So when I was asked to bring potatoes to a Thanksmas gathering this weekend, I opted for “Baked”. I wasn’t going to disgrace myself with lumpy mashed or mushy au gratin. I figured, how bad could I mess up poking a few holes in a spud and wrapping it in shiny paper? Then I read the box of aluminum foil … Made in China.

Guess I should have stuck with the “instant” kind after all…

Send Food!

Just got PhotoShop installed!!

Then spent four hours playing with it, trying to create my annual Christmas card opus. I see myself becoming a Dorian Grey-type figure, holing up in my office with a photograph of myself I try to photoshop into perfection…

I’ll do a tutorial next, honest.

It's a Bird! It's a Plane! It's ME!!

All I Really Want for Christmas is...

Some new presidential candidates, please!

Front Page of Chicago Tribune

Can you say ironic kiddies? I knew you could...

Yellow paint on a Godzilla toy at a shop in Hyde Park showed a high lead content in a readout from a hand-held scanner operated by a Tribune reporter. The owner immediately pulled the toy. (Tribune photo by Terrence Antonio James / November 17, 2007)

Am I the only one who thinks Godzilla is SUPPOSED to be toxic? Wasn't that the whole moral lesson here?

Old Halloween Photo

But so cute, I can't resist!!

Veni, Vidi, V8

We came, We saw, We arrived in world-class automobiles.

Sorry to be reporting on such old news, but the lack of a computer has really taken its toll. I’m going to try and catch up, so things may not be chronological, to say the least.

DustFest 07 (see other bloggers here)

We decided to descend on Effingham, Illinois, for the Corvette Funfest weekend at the end of September. About 45 thousand other enthusiasts decided to do the same, making it the second largest Corvette gathering in the country. There were about fifteen thousand Corvettes. Did we have hotel reservations? Of course not! Where’s the adventure in that?

The weather was a record-breaking high in the 90s that suited me just fine – and didn’t upset the Road Warrior any, either.

Didn’t see too many Vettes until the very end of the trip there, which was a bit unusual. As we approached the end of the six-hour drive, late models appeared on the road – many with their tops up ! What’s with that? Why buy a convertible if you just want to drive around blasting the air conditioning? Must have been the passenger’s desire to not get their hair mussed. It seemed men over 50 are issued a slightly younger blonde with any purchase of a C6.

As we pulled into town, the Hotel Hunt was on!

Al had his Crackberry out, locating and calling hotels. We found the only one with two rooms still available and pulled into their parking lot. Ewww!!! I think this place is rejected by most truckers. Things were not looking good. The only positive was, all the other guests had Corvettes too, so at least we could all be appalled together.

I was shown a first floor room that was most recently rented out for the four-day RJ Reynolds Tobacco Lover’s Convention (this year’s theme: Smoke em’ before they’re Illegal!!). Suddenly the Hilton Garden Inn called back and said they just had a cancellation! Take it, I demanded! I don’t care how marked-up that clean, shiny, non-smoking room is, just get it!!!!!!

Al obliges, but of course complains about the cost. Considering the Bates Motel wanted almost as much, I thought it was going to prove a great bargain; it was brand-new and extremely upscale. We pulled into the parking lot and Paris Hilton herself was getting out of a Vette. No lie, this young woman looked like a Paris doppelganger, complete with designer handbag. She smiled at my car like it’s the cutest little thing she’s ever seen and Daddy just has to buy it for her key chain.
I began feeling a lot more positive about the weekend. We checked in and found a gorgeous room – complete with little used hotel towels that are ours to keep for use in washing our cars! Plus a little toy car. There was even a hose out side for washing your baby.

This place will have my business forever- unlike places that don’t provide towels and then try to charge you extra for messing up their bath towels. provoking a fight between your credit card and their management, resulting in you winning, ha-ha, not like I’d know anything about that, now would I, Nowhere, Nebraska Super 8, now would I???

Sorry.

We went to the MidAmerica grounds where literally thousands of Corvettes are parked in a big empty field. It had not rained in months, hence my designation of Dust Fest. This is one of those events that was really cute and quaint when no one knew about it. Now it’s the Disneyland of all things Corvette. Oh, well. We put the top up to minimize the dirt, and began to walk the grounds.

Overheard at the review stand…

Woman (picking up her trophy): Of course we trailered the car here! It’s almost a seven-hour drive!

(I wanted to point out I just drove six and would be scraping bugs off the mirrors well into January but at least I DROVE MINE!!!! But why bother? Her hair and bumpers were spotless so she got a trophy. Big whoop. )

After wandering the grounds for a few hours we headed back to the hotel. It was one big tailgate party in the parking lot – all Corvette owners on little folding chairs behind their cars. We walked to a really cool restaurant and had a great dinner out on the back deck over a little pond. I had not expected to be staying at such a nice hotel or eating at a ‘fine dining’ establishment, so I felt a little silly in my Speed Racer T-Shirt, but everyone else was pretty casual too. (Next year, I’ll bring something a little nicer…)

I think this one event pretty much fuels the entire economy of this town. MidAmerica also does a PorscheFest, and I’d love to see that sometime. I’m guessing it’s much smaller and more intimate. Except… I’d buy one at the event. I just know it.

We stopped at a liquor store and joined the tailgaters for some fun conversations about our cars. The next day we attended some seminars and I did some shopping. Scored a cool Corvette camera bag, some Corvette sunglasses and a Corvette throw.

There were all these lifts going where you could get new wheels or exhaust put right on your car at the event. Kind of a car day-spa. They had an actual day-spa type thingy going for the ladies in another area – there were booths to make beaded bracelets (total mark-up, and they had run out of the I(heart)My Corvette charm, so I didn’t bother), manicures with the Corvette logo, etc.

At night there was free entertainment – Three Dog Night played! I love them.

First, we went to the local TGI Friday’s for dinner. Turned out, the local high-school was having Homecoming the same night. Couldn’t they have planned this a little better? Apparently TGI’s was quite the place to take your evening-gowned date. I enjoyed seeing the fashion show and people watching.

Now imagine some five thousand plus Corvettes parked in a field at night for a concert. I mean, the average age of attendee is about 50, so a pretty mellow crowd. Like any show, some people are getting up before it is over to ‘beat the rush’ out the exit. And I do mean singular.

Al suggested we leave. I refused.

“I’m not getting off this lawn chair until I hear “Joy to the World”.

“Wouldn’t you like to hear it sitting the car?”

“Nope.”

They did exactly one song as an encore. Yep. Joy to the World.

We then left with the throng heading back to the cars that were now little lumps of dust dotting the landscape. Like any big gathering of a sporting event or concert, all access roads except one were blocked, and the rent-a-cops were on hand to hinder traffic and not allow turns in any useful direction.

One would think that this mellow, older crowd would leave the grounds in a polite and orderly fashion. Guess again. Suddenly everyone seemed to possess a $50K fiberglass bumper car….

Me: They’re not letting you in!! Slow down! Watch out!
Al (driving): That’s ok. Our car is worth less.
Me: Not funny. I don’t care if we do have metal bumpers, don’t hit anything. Look at that idiot! Where’s he going?

Took forever to go the three miles back to the hotel – could have walked quicker, and next time I think we will. Afterwards, we walked to a neighboring hotel that was having better tailgate parties and met some more nice people to talk cars with far into the night.

The hotel had a great breakfast buffet and we were on the road home nice and early. Even though the event has gotten huge, I think I might go again next year because we had such a nice time. We’ve been to the vast majority of Funfests, starting with the second year.

One thing I would change is the Celebrity Judging. It’s a ‘fun show’, so no real car show judging is done. Dignitaries are allowed to pick their favorite car out of the field and tie a balloon to the antenna, signifying their choice. Those cars are brought forward to get a little trophy. This is fine, but many people come for both days, and I noticed some cars won on both days, and really they should just be eligible once. Even these informal picks turn up the same cars over and over, year after year. I’d just like to see some variety.

The ones that made the biggest impression on me were the husband and wife who each arrived in an incredibly restored 68 coupe, one yellow, one green. Al spoke to the husband who said BOTH cars were owned by the wife. My kind of woman! Although I think the Road Warrior needs a little sister. A nice, new, bouncing 6 Speed convertible.

Hey, Al, I think it’s time to try again!!

I Am (Connected) Therefore I Blog

Am I back?

Perhaps.

Sorta. Maybe.

It's like this - we had to buy a whole new computer!!! But something still isn't right, and the connection is slower than ever. But I do plan on getting some posts up soon. I have plenty of book reviews to share, and a few trips. And photos! Yes, photos too. This may not happen for over a week; we're going on a trip this weekend, so I won't be around. (SOMEBODY owed me a Pompeii exhibit)

Since we're going all the way to Minnesota to see a museum, it would be a downright sin to drive past the MALL of AMERICA with out stopping... so I got a hotel room right across the street from it just to be sure. Why tempt the gods of retail?

Much like Mecca, the MOA is a required pilgrimage for professional shoppers like myself. Sure, there are bigger malls (Woodfield has more retail square footage) or older supermalls (Edmonton) but MOA has its charms.

...Like dropping Mr. Right off in Lego Land and telling him to build himself a motorcycle while I do some serious shopping.