Friday, October 31, 2008

Halloween Caption Contest!!

What do YOU think the lizards are saying?

Here's a few to get you started:

Is it Christmas already?

Hermione gets fed up with Ron and Harry.

She's the only one that finds this amusing.

That does it. We're giving her salmonella.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

I ♥ Colin!

Read all about it here

Now if we could just get Condi on board...

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Star Wars

Excerpts from the Yahoo! Newsroom blog...

If there's one rule in election-year politics, it's this: Don't mess with the science crowd. OK, labor unions and the NRA matter too, but John McCain may want to brush up on his stars and planets after Tuesday night's debate.

In the debate, McCain portrayed Barack Obama as an excessive spender, and he punctuated his attack (twice) with this example:
"[Obama] voted for nearly a billion dollars in pork barrel earmark projects, including, by the way, $3 million for an overhead projector at a planetarium in Chicago, Illinois. My friends, do we need to spend that kind of money?"

The Adler Planetarium even issued a statement, noting that the request, ironically, was not even funded:
"To clarify, the Adler Planetarium requested federal support -- which was not funded -- to replace the projector in its historic Sky Theater, the first planetarium theater in the Western Hemisphere.... To remain competitive and ensure national security, it is vital that we educate and inspire the next generation of explorers to pursue careers in science, technology, engineering and math."

I hereby demand a town-hall science debate hosted at MIT!

Moderator: We've assembled here the only 80 people in the U.S. that did not fall asleep during seventh-grade science class and polled them for questions in advance. I've selected the most dull and neutral to be asked here tonight, and the candidates are in no way actually obligated to provide an answer to the question posed. So let's begin with the first question: "As President, would you recognize Pluto as a planet?"

McCain: Maybe I'm just a renegade, but I recall it has been recognized as a planet ever since I was a boy. My opponent would have you believe we should reassess the status of heavenly bodies just for the sake of change, but I assure you that is a slippery slope. If it's good enough for Walt Disney, then it's good enough for the American people. However it's very far away and we can't be sure of its loyalty.

Palin: I can see Pluto from my house. Northern lights, too!

Obama: Is that right, Governor Palin? May I call you Tina? Tina, not only would I recognize Pluto, but I would include Ceres and and Eris as well, as I believe America should be all-inclusive. I'd sit down at the table with planets, asteroids and even comets and find some common space we can all agree on.

Biden: However, I'd like to point out that even if unrecognized, Pluto truly has no recourse under the Eleventh Amendment...

Moderator: Time is up. Thank you, candidates. The next question is, "Should Stem Cell Research be funded?"

Obama: I've always been a proponent of funding stem cell research. Just last week I met a mother of three named Shaquira Williams who had no health insurance for herself or her family. She told me if only she could sell a few stem cells, she could get caught up on her SUV payments... We need bi-partisan support of stem cell research increases that benefit all families, not just the wealthiest one percent the McCain plan would help.

Palin: Unlike the Democrats who favor using all kinds of stem-cells, even little baby ones, I only support using the cells from the stems of your lower plant forms. Nothing cruciferous. Like maybe grass, or dandelions. Really, it's what God intends.

Moderator: Thank you. Next question: "What is your stance on the Health Care issues facing the nation today?"

McCain: As an American who has had his share of health issues over the years, I just want to say that Senator Obama and I agree that every citizen should have access to prescription medications; much like my wife Cindy, but without the huge bribes involved in cover-up.

Biden: I love John, but let's face it. Here's a man who is probably going to need two or three colonoscopies a year. Honestly, how many times do you want the 25th Amendment invoked leaving Tina at the helm? Or can she see in his colon from the podium?

Palin: Very funny, Joe, very funny! But seriously, folks, John is too much of a maverick to let his health slide. If he needs any procedures you know darn well he won't need to be knocked out for them, not for a minute. No sir. He's got will power tough as nails. Not like some people who are off taking a few puffs behind the shed. And I'm sorry, but I don't think anybody has ever tried cocaine and not kept it up. I'm just sayin'...

Moderator: Thank you all. Last question: "What do you intend to do about Global Warming?"

Obama: All around us we can see the effects of global warming. High emissions have created conditions that endanger our planet. I think we should reach across the aisle form a bipartisan committee to determine which corporations we should tax more heavily for contributing greatly to the problem.

McCain: I guess I'll have to defer to Senator Obama on this one. He's the one who hangs out with Weathermen...

Obama: Once again, my opponent wants to deflect from the hard questions about the economy. How are you going to turn the tide, Republicans?

Palin: Print more money and get rid of the penny. More bills, like tens and twenties, will help stimulate the economy. That's cold, hard math. And math is science. So we're the science party. We win. (Smile. Wave.) God bless!

Moderator: That's all we have for tonight voters. Now YOU decide.

Biden: Actually, it's the electoral college...

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

I HATE it When They Don't Have My Size

KNOXVILLE, Tenn. - A customer opened fire in a crowded shopping mall Wednesday afternoon, killing a clothing store employee before he was shot and wounded by police officers, authorities said. Witnesses said the gunfire sent people "stampeding" for cover.

Once again, I'm adding new shades of meaning to the old saw "Shop Til You Drop"...

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Famously Uncomfortable Footwear

No breaking (blister) news to report, but the white shoes did seem a bit better Wednesday. I stuck a band-aid to the inside top of the left shoe, and it seemed to help. I took the 'day off' today, as the yellow-tan ones matched my outfit, but I'll try the white ones tomorrow.

Note: I do not wear them all day, just to drive to and from work, and for walk into the building from the parking lot (hike!). It is best not to wear the same pair of shoes two days in a row, in order to let them dry out thoroughly between wearings. As soon as the white ones are broken in, or my feet toughen, I will not wear them twice in a row for even that little bit.

So kids... don't try this at home. I am a professional on an unlimited shoe budget. Your mileage will vary.

These are the ones I changed into at the office... cool, huh?

Tina Fey is a Genius

Speaking of Ski N' Shoot...


Wednesday, October 01, 2008

World Series Mania!

How many cities can say they have TWO teams in the playoffs?

How many could not make it any further, despite those odds?

The OM Team

Yoga as an Olympic sport?

Sure! Why not?

No stupider than synchronized swimming. Or that thingie where you ski around in a circle and shoot...

I mean, I can see where once upon a time the skills of skiing and shooting could be linked to survival, but choreographed crawls? Is there some evidence linking precise repetitive flower-formation movements to a decrease in shark attacks or something?

Anyhoo... on the heels of a movement to make yoga an Olympic sport comes the news that my yoga teacher is moving away! No amount of 'cleansing breaths' is going to make that any better, she's the best one I've ever found. How can she move? Oh well, Om is where the heart is, I suppose.

Class time recently changed to a slightly later start, yet I'm still late. It's like football, miss that kick-off namaste and you might as well throw in the towel. So much for yoga fostering discipline.

Just the other day Louise was asking me what my class was like so we could compare it to hers....

Me: Militant.

Louise: Militant?

Me: Yeah, I think we're in training for some Hindu national army or something. I think chaturanga is a call to arms...

Louise: Mine is called Gentle Stretch, but it's a real workout.

Me: Everyone else in my class is so fit. And coordinated. I'm such a lump.

Louise: My group was impressed with how flexible I was from the first class I tried...

Me: Yeah, there's some real show-offs like that in our group. I think they're cheating.

Louise: Cheating?

Me: You know, like practicing throughout the week. It's a really challenging class. The most rigorous I've ever taken.

Louise: what is your class working on?

Me: Levitation.