Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Stevia Nicks

Truvia or Consequences?

Stole my first packet of Truvia today! I had heard about the product and wanted to taste it for myself, but never bothered to look for it at a store. Then all of a sudden, (sweet n') Lo and Behold, there it was on the restaurant table! Two packets made a sudden break for my purse. Could this new sweetener replace Splenda in my heart? Or Equal in my liver?
Read this excellent opinion on why I should be skeptical of the whole situation: Is Truvia a Safe Alternative to Sugar? Conspiracy! Evil Government Agencies! Coca-Cola!

Use Sparingly

Ate a teeny bit of five of the "8 Foods You Should Eat Every Day". Yay for me. That's an additional hour or two tacked on my lifespan.

Oats - Walnuts - Oatmeal at Starbucks +20 Minutes
Grande Mild Roast with 1/2 + 1/2 & 2 Splenda - 35 minutes

Mixed Green Salad with Spinach, Tomatoes and Carrots +40 minutes
Slathered with Honey Mustard Dressing - 15 minutes

To be fair, we also must count: Candy at work, Diet Coke, a good handful of Pringles...

I'll be gone by the end of the week.

Time to Fire That Marketing Department

Now far be it from me to find a coupon I didn't like, but "Save up to 15%" at Babies R Us??

Honestly, people. It's called Market Research and Targeted Mailings. Try it some time.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009


So as you can see from the previous post, I've been way too depressed to write anything this month.

I'm now the proud owner of a $1300 Whirlpool Duet that the repairman swears is the only thing he would recommend. (For his fiscal health?) It better Du it, that's all I've got to say on the topic.

Couple that with the coldest, wettest July on record, and you've got one cranky blogger who has done nothing but swear at Dish TV (why can't I get it to Single Mode? Is that too much to ask??) and eat carbs and sweets. Not a good summer, that's for sure.

I haven't got anything pleasant to say today. But that's not what you come here for anyway, now is it? Let's just say any universal health care plan for Americans should include therapy. Retail therapy, that is.

Even getting a free scone today didn't cheer me up all that much. Finally bought those awesome turtle shoes (pictures to be posted at a later date) on sale, and it's been too icky to wear them yet.

Just found a nifty list of "Eight Foods you should eat every day". What a great idea. I have three of them in the house now. Soon as I finish these Limited Edition Coconut M&Ms *
Yeah, right. The good foods? Let's see... Spinach. Yogurt. Tomatoes. Carrots. Blueberries. Walnuts. Oats. Now if I could remove all other foods from the house and just stock those... I'd be hitchhiking to the nearest KFC.

To add insult to all this injury, I had the opportunity to meet the sexiest writer on earth - and my lousy cell phone cam is so hideous; like two pixels per square inch, that I can't even put a picture in a frame to brag about. He's high def in person, trust me. I feel like Ulysses. The Gods smiled upon me, but prevented me from bragging about it. Great. Just what I needed, some crappy Life Lesson in Humility. Whatever.

Evil Developers now want to turn a scenic rural road near my house into a four lane Highway to the Hell of Rampant Growth, and despite logical residential opposition to their eminent domain seizure (politely termed 'right of way' as in get right out of our way, here comes the bulldozer serfs) it will probably happen. Who needs oak trees?

That's all for now. I'll be back with a new batch of gripes. You wait and see.

*It's a sad day when you have to ask a candy to be your friend on Facebook. I'm not there. Yet.

Actual Conversation

Me: Thank you for coming right away! Here's my washing machine. It won't spin.

Repairman: Oh. It's a Maytag. How old is it?

Me: Only nine years.

Repairman: That's a lot longer than most people get.

Me: What?

Repairman: It would cost over $700 to fix. Cheaper to buy a new one.

Me: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The There is No Justice Department

NC State student Joseph Carnevale, the vigilante artist behind the traffic barrel monster, has been sentenced to 50 hours of community service because of his "crime."

Monday, July 06, 2009


LAKE BUENA VISTA, Fla. — Officials at Walt Disney World Resort were investigating what caused the first fatal accident in the 38-year history of the park's Monorail, a one-time symbol of founder Walt Disney's vision for future transportation.

Two of the monorail's trains collided early Sunday in the park's Magic Kingdom section, killing one of the train's operators, emergency officials said.

Text messages sent by the operators:

This iz such a Mickey Mouse job

LOL! UR Goofy!

I'm just sayin', let Shelbyville have the monorail.