Friday, February 29, 2008

Happy Leap Year!!


I love how Florida power company officials stated the power outage was not terrorism - yet they didn't know what caused it. Um, isn't the definition of "I don't know" uncertainty? And if you are uncertain of something, how can you be SURE it's NOT terrorism?

While Dick Cheney was debating this very point before Congress, the
power company finally admitted it was the act of a single employee screwing up.

But of course, there were no problems at the nuclear power plant.

Wish I'd Said That!

"Ralph Nader announced he is running for president again. His announcement has filled millions of people with excitement and hope. And these people are called Republicans." --Craig Ferguson

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Snow Wonder I'm Cranky

Oh, let's see...

We've had so much snow here, the our Governor and Senators are trying to get our county declared federal disaster site.

Oil set a record high of $102 a barrel at close today, sure to drive gas prices to $4 a gallon any second now.

So... if summer ever does show up (I'm not holding my breath) I won't be able to go anywhere in my gas-guzzling convertible anyway. I'm going to die broke and starving by the side of the road, pushing as many pairs of shoes as I can fit into my stolen shopping cart from homeless shelter to homeless shelter.

Looks like I'm going to have to get a part-time job, and I'm not thrilled about it. My whole long-term financial plan revolves around being killed while shopping, something that's becoming more and more of a certainty...

WAUKEGAN, Ill. - An explosion possibly caused by a gas leak ripped through a suburban Chicago shopping plaza Thursday, injuring at least eight people and rattling nearby buildings, fire officials said.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Wish I'd Said That!

A truth that's told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent.

William Blake

Thank You, Blogger Programmers

Spill Check is back! Yay!

Red Fish, Blue Fish, Three Fish, New Fish

Saw Super* the Betta at the pet store and just had to buy him. He’s a Crown Betta as evidenced by his deeply frilled fins. He’s quite gorgeous, but I’m worried about his health. I’ve never had a Betta that was so skittish. Is it something to do with the Crown distinction? Instead of laid-back like my other fish, Super is jumpy and seems terrified anytime I come near his bowl. I thought some fake plants might give him a hiding spot or invoke privacy, but he just darts around wildly every time I try to feed him. I’m really worried he’ll get hurt by jumping out of a bowl or scratching himself against a plastic plant. Or even go into cardiac arrest just because I want to clean his tank. He shows no signs of settling in, and it’s been a month. Any suggestions, fish lovers?

Also, don’t forget to take my poll on the side bar, readers!

*named for Super Bowl Sunday, the next big sporting event after his purchase. He joins Indy and Daytona.


So sad!

Something tells me summer has already been canceled. Still trying to decide where to move – I don’t think New Zealand will be hot enough for me, but it’s still in the running. There’s another six inches of snow predicted tomorrow. I can’t take any more.

Grammy Albums

This is a bit different: me watching the Grammies and being interested enough to check out two winning albums. The first is Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace by the Foo Fighters. I never took any interest in this band before, but I heard The Pretender on the radio and really liked it. I have mixed feelings about the album, as I don’t care for the title track or quite a few others, but those I like, I like a lot. If anyone out there is a fan, please recommend other albums of theirs I might enjoy. My favorite tracks were The Pretender, Cheer Up Boys and Stranger Things Have Happened. I give it a B-.

Back to Black by Amy Winehouse

What’s not to love with this train wreck of a gal? This certainly isn’t the type of music I usually listen to, but I like this quite a bit. I like the fact that she wrote this and it’s so raw. Reminiscent of early Alanis in that respect. Rehab and You Know I’m No Good are the strongest tracks, but I need to listen a few more times to get familiar with it. A winner. A-.

*Unlike Febreze, this February really stinks!

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Lies My Government Tells Me

Coincidence? I think Not!

Hmmm, let’s see… Tuesday a
great flash of light is seen over several northwestern states. Wednesday, the Navy claims to have successfully shot down a ‘dying spy satellite’.

Yep. That’s just what happened. Nothing more to see here folks, just keep moving.

A) I’m sure toxic gas was a real concern. That’s why we’re so careful with our beef and toy supplies.

B) I’m sure our equipment is that accurate.

C) This has nothing to do with the election.

D) Or Castro.

E) Or Lady Di's death.
Prince Phillip in the Library with a Candle Stick...

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Is it Just Me?

Or are there an awful lot of multiple shootings going on?

DEKALB, Ill. - A man dressed in black opened fire with a shotgun and two
handguns from the stage of a lecture hall at Northern Illinois University on
Thursday, killing five students and injuring 16 others before committing
suicide, authorities said.

Peters said the gunman was a former graduate student in sociology at NIU, but was not currently enrolled at the 25,000-student campus about 65 miles west of Chicago.

Sociology, sociopath; potato, poetahto.

The shooting was the fourth at a U.S. school within a week.

Wow, that guy Biff sure is a risk taker!

What do you mean, Muffy? Does he skydive? Drive a motorcycle? Rockclimb?

Naw, he's going to a third period lecture and then taking his chubby girlfriend to the mall.

No...really? That's insane!

Smoothie Wisdom

DeKuyper Peachtree Schnapps

DescriptionDeKuyper Peachtree Schnapps ingredient
Rich peach flavors that are great in mixed drinks or as a shooter with your favorite beer.

DeKuyper Peachtree Schnapps Ingredient at


Nothing perks up a boring old Tofu and Strawberry smoothie like Peachtree Schnapps!

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

Tuesday, February 12, 2008


Almost worth going Downtown in Febrrrr-ary to see...

Insurance Rider?

As someone who loves cars, it's quite hard to believe that I never watched even one episode of Knight Rider. As someone who talks to their car all the time, it's even harder to imagine*. But with David Hasselhoff, can you really blame me? Besides, that old Pontiac didn't impress me at all. The W6 Trans Am with Ram Air on the other hand....

I spent my youth lusting after the Ferrari Daytona Spider on Miami Vice, thank you very much. By the time it hit the Testarossa, I lost interest.

I love anything Shelby, and this pony looks tough, so that's cool. Check out the cute comments here.

I'm heartbroke to think Will Arnett won't get to be the voice of Kitt. Arrested Development is one of my all-time favorite shows! What do I expect from GM? If there was any justice there, I'd be driving a Pontiac Banshee right now anyways.

I can't figure out how to imbed this Turkish Knight Rider clip, so please click on the link and check it out!! Murat 124, Dude! There's more, just click around. If anyone can tell me how to put the actual video here, please share! I couldn't figure that out the way most YouTube type items can be posted.

*Some days, it's the most productive conversation I have.

Missouri Gunman had Previous Disputes With City

Five people are dead in Kirkwood, and the mayor, also shot, was fighting Saturday for his life.A city council meeting in the St. Louis suburb of 27,000 was about to start. The 30 to 40 who were gathered in City Hall stood and pledged allegiance to the flag.That's when Charles Lee "Cookie" Thornton came in armed with a pair of handguns.The 52-year-old man opened fire. A local resident, familiar to all in the room, Cookie Thornton had a grudge against the city, and something made him snap.He apparently killed a police sergeant first in the parking lot. Then he crossed the street, came into City Hall and shot Officer Tom Ballman, who twice had placed Thornton under arrest."Shoot the mayor!" the gunman reportedly said as he continued into the city council's chamber.He next took aim at the city's public works director, Ken Yost, and shot him dead. He strode toward Connie Karr and pulled the trigger again.A city attorney fled, throwing a chair at the gunman. Thornton shot and killed Michael Lynch, a city councilman. He also shot a reporter in the hand.

Now of course, I'm not CONDONING these types of actions, although I do understand how one might be pushed beyond the breaking point by an evil city council. It's really too bad Mr. Thornton was killed. I was hoping he was free the second Tuesday of the month...

Will it Never End??

Paris Hilton's younger brother, Barron Hilton, was arrested Tuesday morning for allegedly driving under the influence, authorities said.Hilton, 18, was stopped after a witness reported seeing a black Mercedes-Benz weaving on Pacific Coast Highway, at times drifting into the oncoming traffic lane, according to a statement from the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department.

How many more innocent cars need to be harmed before we can take them away from clueless celebrities??

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Smoothie Wisdom

What's wrong with this picture?

My blender has 14 speeds and my car only six.

Happy 4706!

I love Lunar New Year! Ok, the food. Any excuse for an almond cookie is a winner with me. I'm a snake, in case you were wondering.


Gosh, wonder why I haven't posted for another week? Oh, let's just say battling 14" of snow has put me in a less than optimal mood.

Barkeep... Carbohydrates for everyone! On me!!

This has been the first day without precipitation in about a week - so of course it's now -5 degrees with high winds. But that will clear up tomorrow night. So we can have another 3-5" of snow.

I hate the Midwest.

Almost as much as Maytag.

Monday, February 04, 2008

What Recession?

It's my birthday month as well, and the first card I received was from Macy's. (Beg for me, evil conglomerate, beg!) My friend Louise also has a February birthday, and we get all the same discount offers for various stores and restaurants that are smart enough to have a Birthday Club of some sort.

So drive an hour down to the worst traffic jam in the county on a Saturday afternoon so we can marvel at all the other idiots that did the same. Recession? What recession? They installed two more traffic lights while we were waiting for a left turn signal by the SuperTarget.

I can just see the marketing department of DSW:

"Hey, here's somebody having a birthday who should be socking away some money for their golden years. Let's send her a $5 off coupon!! No WAY can she leave with less than two pairs of shoes and a purse! Bwh-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

As for what I really want for my birthday? Botox.

Happy Birthday, Alice!!

It's Alice Cooper's 60th Birthday!

Mall Shooting, Too!

Ok, so ours wasn't as big or glamorous as Onion Boy's, but sensless just the same. Five women killed at a Lane Bryant strip mall store in Tinley Park, IL.

It's just a matter of time until I'm shot while shopping*. That's because I certainly couldn't get shot while working at a soup kitchen or something humanatarian like that. I mean, do the math. I shop A LOT. Good deeds. Not so much. ...Like never.

I just don't understand all the cloak and dagger about the supposed sixth victim. I find it hard to belive the police would honor a victim's request to not reveal their existence due to fear of retribution. (But that would be nice) Are they hiding something else? And what of the description of the attacker?

Authorities say the man, who is between 25 and 33 years of age, wore black jeans with writing and embroidery on them. The back pocket also had a rhinestone design, officers said. He was wearing a charcoal gray cap and a black jacket that went below the waist.

Sounds like he shot the place up because they were out of his size. Speaking of size, was he a novice gunman who picked that establishment as he was less likely to miss?

(*Ooops! There I go again, glass half full - with poison!)

Massive Affective Disorder

Could we have one whole day without any precipitation, people???? I am so sick of this weather! I am moving to Puerto Rico and going on welfare. This is one of the snowiest winters on record and someone said today, "think how much we'll appreciate summer when it gets here."

When? How about if? Gee, sorry if I seem a little on the glass half-full side, but the way my life has been going about the most I can hope for is a record heat wave while my air conditioner breaks. Between the Dick Cheeney 'faulty intelligence' weather reports and Acts of God brought to you by Maytag, it's a wonder I get out of bed in the mornings.

Think the little rat heard about my plan to make mittens out of him?

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Super Pricey

I think some sports event or another is going on tonight. All I know is I ate too many chips and too much pizza.

Ten seconds before the game even started, I saw the best commercial of the evening. It was an advertisement for some insipid movie about a dumb guy who won't grow up and some tween boys. You guessed it... Owen Wilson!

Oh, like you don't understand? Like you weren't drooling over that equally stupid trailer for the Matirx rip-off starring a half-naked Angelina Jolie? Yeah, right.

Second most awesome commercial? Audi R8. Now that looked hot!

Still Here

Haven't posted in like, forever. I think I have Seasonal Affective Disorder, or at lease Snow Sucks Syndrome. This is one of the worst winters on record for snowfall in our area, and I've had it. Our local prognosticator, Woodstock Willie, is predicting an early spring. I'm making a pair of mittens out of that rodent if he's wrong!!

The weather is keeping me from the health club and just making me even more depressed and cranky than usual. That's really saying something! So, sorry for the spotty posting. I need to make a February Resolution here - a little writing every day. Also, a little stretching, too. This all ties into the whole health club thing that started back in September. Let me tell you all about it...

I really liked my old health club. It was right behind my place of employment, so the location couldn't be beat. I have such fond memories of my three years there.

...The way I could see my Corvette when we had water aerobics classes in the outdoor pool.

...The drunk old man who kept swimming even though there were signs posted everywhere about how there was no open swim during water aerobic class times, and how the staff had to eject him time and time again...

...The young girl who wore the really low hip-hugger workout pants with the red thong showing while using the stair-stepper. I'm sure that was just an unplanned accident. Perhaps I should have alerted the poor thing to the stares she was getting from the male weightlifters. She had no idea...

...My encounter with the Best Customer Service Ever. I was upset when I renewed my membership and they didn't give me a new ID card. I told this to a young girl (whose employment lasted all of three weeks at the club, and I also heard she was fired from her previous job as well, but boy would I like her to get a job with Maytag for a month) who agreed I didn't look like that crappy picture any more. She pulled out a big pair of scissors and cut the card up. She said I should tell the next clerk it was lost by the desk at my last visit and that I should be issued a new one. It worked!! Now that's service with a smirk.

Anyhoo... this club closed and broke my heart. It was like losing a close friend. Maybe it was over lawsuits incurred over Scissor Girl's tenure. At any rate, I had to find a new club.

I checked out quite a few and settled on a community recreation center. I took this option as they offer classes, not just a place to go and lift weights or run on a treadmill. I need the motivation and camaraderie a group workout offers. (Yeah, anti-social me. Go figure.)

Now there's just one itty-bitty problem. Ok, HUGE problem. Four words: OPEN TO THE PUBLIC. Anybody willing to wave $40 a month around can come in. This means families. This means kids. This means my child allergies and general riff-raff aversions are in hyper-overdrive.

Just the other day I'm on the treadmill when this short, roly-poly dude with black-plastic rimmed glasses strolls in. He picks one of the recumbent bikes. Now I'm not stupid. I've sat on these machines. They have some bikes with the 'Schwinn' type old fashioned bicycle seats. These are for the people who take spinning classes and are Lance Armstrong wannabes. The ones with the little seat backs are for sitting down and watching the TV sets while trying to convince yourself you are working out. I know. I did it just the week previous! I watched CNN debate the election, Rachel Ray make an ice cream desert and an old episode of Friends. Whew! What a workout.

I digress... So this dude in the green T and blue sweats (coordinated by mommie that morning, I'm sure) sits down and gets ready to read his book. Now there is no way I can miss the title of his book. A) I'm 'hiking' over his shoulder and B) The title is in 42 pt. black font on a yellow cover. The name? Dungeons and Dragons for Dummies.

I. Could. Not. Make. This. Up.

So I go into the locker room to change. Fat Slob mom and pudgy teen girls are messing around with the scale. Mom is muttering how she's never been this heavy before and is sure the scale is wrong. She has the little indicator bar way at the top of the metal square enclosure. This 'needle' is supposed to be in the middle of the bracket to let you know you have the right weight. Hers is clanging against the top while she insists the Doctor's Office told her as long as it's not touching, it's accurate. So she's got it way up top to get that perceived quarter pound less of weight or something. So next thing I see is one of the girls putting a 10 lb. barbell on the scale and checking to see if it registers ten pounds.

Yep. Open to the Public. My favorite phrase.