Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Well, of Course it's Made in China

This rolling, rough and tough Dusty the Talking Vacuum Cleaner comes alive with animation, realistic sounds (that would be you, swearing) and fun activities (being tested for lead is a great passtime!). Dusty's friend Brushy comes attached and the two have cleaning fun all day long as they talk to each other. The vacuum cleaner's handle moves up and down just like a real one, and the free-rolling wheels activate 30 fun phrases and realistic vacuum sounds (Like "favorite toy caught in a vortex"). As the vacuum rolls along, watch the "dirt" swirling in the canister! *
*Had this been a real Hoover, that dirt would be swirling out the motor...
Phrases include :
"Maytag Sucks - But Hoover Doesn't!"
"My warranty has just expiiiiiiirerrrrrrrdddddd"
"The toaster will lead the takeover at dawn - pass it on"
"I'm sorry, this model is not included in the recall. Would you like to buy an extended warranty?"
"This item falls well within the limits of lead particles per million when used as directed. Directions: do not touch with bare skin. Do not inhale near product. Do not leave in direct sunlight or feed after midnight."


As if you needed any further proof as to the fact that all of my appliances are in a perpetual state of revolt – my computer hard drive crashed leaving me without an Internet connection!! We had an old computer hooked up and it was so slow…zzzzzzzzzzzzz. I’ll try to catch up as I can, but the major stuff will have to wait. The Blogfodder folder grows ever larger, while my time continues to shrink. Thanks so much to anyone who is still reading this blog!! Also, I may have to ask you for email addresses again, if my data can’t be recovered. For those keeping score: Computer Age – less than six years old. Hard drive warranty: Five Years. Yep. That planned obsolescence has given way to willful warranty expiration self-sabotage by the devices. Little kamikazes.

So I get this coupon from a local shoe store, not my favorite store, (that would be DSW) but $10 off is nothing to sneeze at. Coupon in hand, I head for the sale stuff way in the back and start trying on more shoes than the prince in the Cinderella story.

After Goldy-Marcos finds the Just Right pair, she heads to the checkout. Me + Coupon + Clearance Rack of shoes = Happy Ending, right? Wrong. Seems the lighting in this particular retail establishment leaves something to be desired.

I get home and open the box of shoes under a fluorescent light in my kitchen only to find I have one navy blue and one black sandal. I mean, even in bright light, these colors are thisclose.

Called the establishment and explained that despite the checker looking to see each shoe was the same size (which does make me wonder where that woman with one size-eight foot and one size seven-and-a-half foot shops, but apparently that’s Not the Store’s Problem) I left the store with two different colored shoes. Snickering, the employee put me on hold. She came back and said she found the size 6 mis-matched shoes just as I described and will hold them for me until I can come back for the exchange.

I’m telling you, this has been a really bad week. I promise to tell you the story of the really great weekend I had at Dustfest 07 soon. Unfortunately, I can’t even get the photos off my camera right now!!

I bought a new pair of Rollerblades. I have mixed emotions about them. They are very comfortable and have the old-fashioned traditional brake I like best. I am very brand-loyal to Rollerblade, and this is my third pair. The bad thing is they were a really cheaply made model, and I just couldn’t find anything better, despite my willingness to spend more on the right ones. These just seemed to have really cheap fittings and I doubt if they’ll last more than three years. I don’t know if they truly were extra-low end, or if everything is being made junky now, or what. I wish I knew where the Rollerblade factory was so I could just buy factory-direct and save a few dollars while having the whole line available in one spot (and they might even have my size!). Unlike the Jelly Belly factory, I would NOT want rejects with square wheels, however.
Do Rollerblades count as a footwear purchase? I think it’s more sporting goods. Anyhoo,
I really should try and break this whole shoe-shopping habit. I think the longest I’ve gone is 60 days without a shoe purchase. Blogs and the Internet are great ways to reach out to others with your addiction and offer support, chart progress, etc. So if you are addicted to buying shoes, I’d love to hear from you.

As aforementioned, I’d join a 12 – step program, but that might actually wear out a pair…

My name is Getalife, and I’m a Shoeaholic. It has been seven hours since my last foot wear purchase….

I’ll chart my progress here and let’s see how I do. Can I exclude certain items? I really need some new black boots, and I don’t have any silver shoes…


Ok. It’s actually been twenty-five days since my last footwear purchase, and I feel good. I can do this. I can go, oh, thirty days. Let’s start small. 31 days, as it’s October. Or a really big coupon. Whichever comes first.


Thirty-one days.

I can do this.


*Bet that requires a passport, and don’t get me started on that whole thing again. Did I tell you what happened with that?? How many public officials will be getting nasty letters from me about the fees and difficulties of a US citizen having to prove the same and fight their bureaucracy to the tune of hundreds of dollars? Oh, wait, that’s a whole other post. I’m NEVER getting a passport. I will sneak out in the middle of the night, never to return.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Please Come Back, Readers!!

I have about a million things to blog about, most of them quite stale, but I've been out of commission for a month! Please bear with me as I catch up on all the things I need to comment on. You know, like Warmest October Ever!!!!!!!!!!! Yay!!! This so makes up for the August wash-out! I'm still driving my Vette and wearing short sleeves. Here's to a 40 degree average January!!

And I Thought Maytag Sucked....

Once again, an electronic device has failed me in a disaster of Biblical proportions - this time my Hewlett-Packard piece of junk computer decided to give up the ghost just past its 5-year hard drive warranty. Convenient, eh?

Someone tried to tell me that was the law of 'planned obsolescence'. I disagree. Planned Obsolescence is the Sony Playstation - they continue to improve the product and create software that needs the new system to be appreciated - they want you to buy a new game box every few years. Fine with me.

Junk that breaks just past the warranty is an evil, dastardly plot perfected by successful manufacturers that laugh all the way to the bank. The item you are replacing it with is made even shoddier, and has even less of a warranty that the item you just replaced. See: Automobiles, esp. American, and Maytag, as in "Maytag Sucks". So does Hewlett-Packard.

Hewlett-Packard sucks. Hewlett-Packard sucks. Hewlett-Packard sucks. Hewlett-Packard sucks. Hewlett-Packard sucks. Hewlett-Packard sucks. Hewlett-Packard sucks. Hewlett-Packard sucks. Hewlett-Packard sucks. Hewlett-Packard sucks. Hewlett-Packard sucks. Hewlett-Packard sucks. Hewlett-Packard sucks. Hewlett-Packard sucks. Hewlett-Packard sucks. Hewlett-Packard sucks. Hewlett-Packard sucks. Hewlett-Packard sucks. Hewlett-Packard sucks.

So... If you were wondering what happened to me, I've had no internet access for forty days and forty nights (or so). I have lost my hardrive, which means my banking, photos, and all your e-mail addresses have vanished into the ether. Please email me again so I can add you (back) into my address book. I will then send you my new cell phone number.

What's that, you say? Can't you just transfer a cell phone number over? Let's just say after speaking with a major portion of the residents of Mumbai to no avail, it just became easier to give up and start over. Much like Al's efforts to restore our computer. Again, I apologize for the absence; I do hope I still have some loyal readers out there.

Yeah. Right.