Veni, Vidi, Grande Visa

We came, we saw, we shopped at a really big mall.

As aforementioned, Al and I took a trip to Minnesota to check out a museum exhibit on Pompeii and the Underwater Adventures Aquarium which just happens to be conveniently located in the basement of the Mall of America. I find the six-hour drive up there to be very scenic and relaxing – or, perhaps it’s just knowing the destination. One of those. No, really, it’s a nice drive. Too bad we didn’t get our acts together earlier in the season when we could have taken the Vette, as parking was pretty safe around there.

The first day we set off around 4 a.m. and arrived at our hotel around 10 a.m. Right as we crossed the border into Minnesota there was a short burst of snow flurries! Nice place, Minnesota. If only it were warmer! I couldn’t even hear the desk clerk as they were doing a huge renovation on the hotel and I canceled my reservation right then and there! I saw an Embassy Suites across the way and headed there instead. I’ve heard rave reviews about their chain, and was willing to pay extra for a romantic weekend getaway. Mistake!

Oh, I paid extra all right. However, two elevators were not working. Since the hotel was at near-capacity, things became a horrible mess. Seems the State Girls Volleyball tournament players were all staying at that hotel, making the complementary breakfast bar a total madhouse in the mornings. The food offerings were fantastic, but the lines, crowds, and lack of seating were very off-putting. The pool and fitness rooms were great, but crowded.

They had this ‘free drinks’ from 5-7 p.m. offer. Now usually I’m not a drinker, but when suddenly faced with ‘free’ and trying to get my over-priced rate’s worth, I suddenly become Lindsay Lohan’s BFF. The hotel room itself was a suite, but the bathroom was way too small. I’ll try a Hilton next time! This would have been a nice place to stay during a quiet weekday, but I was not happy with our visit, and I didn’t even see one of those little comment cards where I could express my dissatisfaction. I’ll have to find something online…

Anyhoo… we made it to the museum and saw the ruins of Pompeii. I overheard a curator telling some visitors about how a child ran into one of the glass cases and bumped a ring loose, causing it to fall to the bottom of the display. They had to shut the exhibit down and call Italy. They then sent photos of the damage, and their plan of action for repair. Once they obtained their permission, the exhibit was restored and reopened to the public.

The day we were there a group of little cub scouts was wreaking havoc on the exhibit. Once again I would like to call for “Adult Thursdays” at museums and zoos. I’ll gladly pay extra!!!

I didn’t get to see any mosaics, but they did have some genuine frescos on display that were very impressive. (No photography allowed, so sorry-no pictures) I didn’t expect to be moved by the exhibit, but the final room was very emotional – the plaster casts made from impressions left behind after victim’s bodies had decomposed in the lava and ash. These white casts were placed on little lava stone beds for display, like a big barbecue grill. There were various poses of “trying to cover up” as the smoke and ash suffocated them. Every person was very small – not even as large as me. There was also a pig and a dog. Poor doggie! I can recall seeing pictures of the dog cast in a history book as a child, and that’s what prompted me to seek out the exhibit. The dog still had his collar on, but there’s no telling if he was tied up at the time of death. He obviously died in great pain.

Awww... according to this source, he was chained up

Another sad case was the guy crawling face down – still tethered by the manacles on his feet! I can just see his rich slave-owning masters taking the last chariot out of town the day before, telling him to stay behind and make sure no lava comes in the living room.

Of course, the feeling of “This is So Hurricane Katrina” permeated the whole experience for me. Anyone with any sense or resources had already left town with whatever valuables they could carry. I can just imagine some slave agitator telling everyone how the god Vulcan hates indentured servants…

We then toured the dinosaur floor where I saw my first Triceratops! Fafner is the largest and most complete Triceratops skeleton ever found. The fossil was dedicated in 1966 during the intermission of an opera program where Friedelind Wagner, granddaughter of Richard Wagner, sang at the St. Paul Arts and Science Center. I was surprised to see how close those two huge spear-like horns jutting from his skull were to each other. I guess I expected a broad forehead between them, like a longhorn cow. The hips were amazing, this high pelvic girdle supported by massive femurs.

They had this tiny little picture depicting how small this massive animal’s brain was, and I couldn’t help but think this must be some dig about how stupid dinosaurs must have been. I love how human-centric our race is, how vain. First off, how do we know they didn’t have higher-order thought processes or skills that were somehow not related to brain case size? Secondly, even if they were just lumbering eating machines, who are we to say they did not lead happy productive lives? They ran the planet for millions of years, and the smart money says Homo Sapiens isn’t going to make it to their 100,000th birthday. So there. Big brain = big destruction.

They also had a juvenile Allosaurs and a huge Diplodocus. There was a cast of a Stegasaurus, but that didn’t impress me in the least. I want to see real fossils!!! I also took the opportunity to play ‘stump the staff” when I saw an old guy over by the Ask a Palentologist booth. I asked why they didn’t have the Allosaur dated with the new technology to see how old it was. He didn’t really know, said it was a new thing. Guess it’s costly or something.

We Exited Through the Gift Shop of course, and I could have spent the whole trip’s budget right there. In retrospect, I should have. They had way better stuff than the Mall. I got an Egyptian candle holder with 3 cobras and some Pompeii magnets. Lots of other cool stuff I left behind, unfortunately. Oh, well.

The next day we got to the Mall right when it opened so we could stand in line with thousands of screaming kids awaiting entry to the Aquarium.

When we finally approached the ticket booth, I was informed that the ‘feed the sea turtle’ tickets were all sold out. Devastated, I booked a Behind the Scenes Tour as consolation. The first part of the Aquarium was really cheesey, very mall-like experience where you walked past some turtles and alligators in display tanks amid phony foliage. Very tacky. The true aquarium part started when entering a tunnel that had tanks to left and right, with an arched ceiling of glass that allowed the fish to swim above spectators.

There weren’t any spectacular sharks, but they did have three sea turtles, two loggerhead and a Ridley’s. One had deformed flippers, and obviously could not survive in the wild, whereas the others didn’t have obvious health problems that I could detect. Any sea turtle in an aquarium is one that cannot be released, so I am sure there were reasons for their residency.

The behind the scenes tour was conducted by a college intern who was getting her degree in marine biology and she did a great job of showing us the lab and kitchen areas. The sea turtles are fed squid stuffed with broccoli, which didn’t sound bad. Everything is restaurant quality food, so I can only imagine the cost. (Lord knows my $24.95 admission certainly helped out…)

Viewed from above, the aquarium was almost a circle, with pie-slice dividers separating each of the categories of fish: Freshwater, Amazon Basin, Saltwater, etc. There were also quarantine tanks for any sick fish. One sea turtle was recovering from a shell injury (there was putty in the cracks on her back) and two stingrays were expecting. They give birth to live pups, and were in a small round holding tub. Fish were fed by offering food on long poles on certain days. Fish rising on the wrong feeding schedule were denied food. This was unlike the set up at the Shedd where I understand each fish is cued by a symbol on a card for feeding. There may have been fewer varieties here, thus the need for complex turn-taking unnecessary.

After playing Stump the Staff for a bit, we Exited Through Gift Shop where I promptly bought a bunch of cool stuffed sea life toys: Morray Eel, Sea Horse and an octopus. It was supposed to be 20% off one toy, but I got 20% off each! Also scored a sea turtle candle holder.

Entered the Mall and started methodically walking each level. Most stores were chains you could shop anywhere in America, and that was very disappointing. Last visit, there were more independent locals. One neat place was Lake Woebegone, after the whole Garrison Kellior creation. They had all his stuff on tape and CD, plus books and other radio plays, Minnesota souvenirs, etc. I bought some audio tapes of his stories and had a nice time browsing. There was also a shoe store that I can’t recall the name of, so I can’t say if it was a chain or not. I’m guessing it was. They had the most magnificent shoes on earth, and the only thing between me and the boots of my dreams was about $450. A woman who looked like Jennifer Anniston was actually buying items, and her friend had on a gorgeous coat that must have cost several hundred dollars as well. I slunk out before anyone could smell “Macys” on me.

Al dutifully walked after me carrying bags, despite my offer to drop him off at Lego Land or the Mini-Putt. There was an amusement park at the center of the Mall, but the water rides were closed. Another cool gimmick was a NASCAR simulator where you paid to sit in a car to play a driving video game. Al didn’t try it to my surprise. Guess he didn’t want to humiliate all those other losers. Auto racing lost a huge star since Al was never exposed to auto racing as a kid. He’s really good at it, and with the right opportunity could have made a career out of his behavior that is so rude on public roadways.

Found a J. Crew store and scored a grey wool skirt for $40. Yay! Also bought a grey sweater vest, a black turtleneck, a white turtleneck, a blue sweater and a $15 summer dress. Not much else, the one jacket I wanted at Nordstrom’s Rack wasn’t my size and I was heartbroken the whole day.

Ended up closing the Mall and ate dinner at the Rainforest Café as that was the only thing left open near our parking spot. Would have preferred to try Bubba Gump, but that was not to be. Maybe next time. I really don’t have any reason to go back to this mall. My next shopping pilgrimage will be to the outlet stores of Aurora, but I want to wait for spring.