Would you like fries with that?

Have to play Emergency Waitress ™ today, so not much time to post. For those of you who do not understand Emergency Waitress ™, it is this: only the most menial low paying jobs are the ones when the management show any appreciation to a worker who tries.

Given the general pool of applicants, this is not surprising. I can recall being thanked for showing up on my second day of work at Wal-Mart. I occasionally work up to three jobs at a time to finance my shoe shopping and Corvette owning proclivities, so I’ve done everything from work in a doctor’s office to fast food service. Waitressing is a great way to make some part-time cash, but when it is summer, I find it impossible to give up a beautiful day. So I quit. Except I couldn’t. They refused my resignation. Why can’t this be the attitude at my day job?

Oh, please don’t quit – we need you! You never call in sick! You may not be able
to get the order right, but you are really pleasant about it! And you come in at
a moment’s notice… no, you can’t quit. Keep the apron. We’ll call you!

Thus, Emergency Waitress™ was born. And I’ve trademarked her. Her super power is the ability to screw up any order no matter how small.

Oh, you wanted another beer, didn’t you? Asked about twenty minutes ago, if I
recall…Fish? I thought you said steak. No, really. I have it right here…well,
what do you know? Fish alright. Guess you did. Be right back…

I think the whole Emergency Waitress™ thing will make a great Graphic Novel. Tokyo Pop, are you listening?

I’m very glad a long-shot won the Kentucky Derby. If Bellamy Road had turned in another performance like the Wood Memorial, it would have turned into a ‘the next Secretariat’ circus. I want to own the next Triple Crown winner!

What I’m Reading: Newspapers
What I’m Watching: The Simpsons
What I’m Listening to in the Car: Loyal Looper CD
What I’m Recommending: More beautiful days like this
Stay away from: Guilt occupations