ReBait and Switch

If you’re anything like me, you prefer not to deal with rebates. Of course, that’s what “they” are banking on: the inconvenience factor. Forget Fear Factor. Navigating the maze of UPC codes, proofs of purchase, original dated cash register receipts, and enclosing your baptismal certificate signed by the Pope is much more entertaining.

From TheWiz.Com:
The Federal Trade Commission has been investigating complaints about rebate
practices since 1998. "Rebates are a headache," says Michael Dershowitz, senior
attorney in the division of advertising practices for the FTC. "Frustrating for consumers and frustrating for us."

In five years, the FTC has taken action against a relatively small number of offenders. They include Iomega, Memorex disk producer Memtek Products,
scanner maker UMAX Technologies and Okidata, all for nondelivery of rebates. It
dinged Philips Electronics, Office Depot and Value America for late delivery.
Buy.com was cited for deceptive advertising that promised free Internet service
with computer purchases without explaining that a three-year contract was
required.

Problem is, if you want the darn dollars off, you have to play the game. So when it came to an $18 dollar rebate on my camera memory from SanDisk, I jumped through each and every hoop. Or so I thought.

As promised, eight weeks later I received correspondence from SanDisk. It just wasn’t the check I was hoping for. It was a postcard telling me that my request had been denied due to “purchase outside of the offer time frame”. What!? I don’t think so.

I went back to my file where I had stashed copious copies of every last bit of documentation on this stupid offer. I then picked up the phone and called the 888 number for “questions on your claim”. After listening to eight boring choices (none of which promised a live operator, they were all things like ‘visit our website’ or press 3 for our address…) I started pounding the 0 key. I recall reading once that there was actually routing software designed to gauge how upset a customer was by how rapidly and long they pressed the keys. I certainly hoped I sounded aggressive enough. I also hope they have a recording going to pick up my comments to their recorded comments, as I always editorialize on the way to an operator.

“Emillio” took my call. At least that’s how he identified himself. I wondered if he had a big calendar with “Name O’The Day” on it. You know, like hurricanes. They just give out these names so they can track when you called. Who did you speak with? Robert? Hmmm. Well, he told you to wait two weeks and it hasn’t been that long yet. I suggest you call back in another eight days. My name is Alfonso…

Emillio asked for my address and name. I explained I received a notice that I had been rejected. Then I gave him the little ID number at the bottom of the postcard in .05 Helvetica. Well, that sure sped things up. Not only was I irate, but irate and prepared.

Emillio asked when I bought my product. Oh, no you don’t! If I say June, you say expired in May…
I have my receipt right here, I said. Why don’t you tell me the dates of the offer?

Oh, suddenly Emillio said he was sorry there was a mistake and he was issuing the rebate RIGHT THEN. Yeah, right. Check is in the mail. Honest. The conversation didn’t go any further. He never asked for dates again nor did he provide one. It was all a scam betting that most people would toss the postcard and take their word for it. As for ever seeing the money, I’m quite skeptical. I’ll believe it when the check clears…

And if I don’t hear from them soon, expect an “I Hate SanDisk” site to popup on line. You know, just like Trutech. Because everyone knows Trutech sucks.