Dear Fidel,
I'm hurt. Really.
Sure, I understand not wanting to upset the family and all, but your brother?
Yes, Raul's been there for you through the years, but you and I both know who's really qualified to be running Cuba.
Me.
I'm a natural dictator and look great in khaki. I have lots of dubious military medals* ala al-Gaddafi to perk up any olive drab ensemble.
I don't smoke though.
I hope that won't be a problem.
*I'm especially proud of my Sardonic Star for sarcasm above and beyond the call of duty, and then there's the Purple Heart for self-pity...
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