The Friday before Memorial Day I decided to wear patriotic colors to work; which is a nice gesture of course, unless you're a total klutz like myself and have an iron-clad obligation to spill coffee on whatever white articles of clothing you may be sporting.
I sheepishly called Al from work and thanked him for the coffee, noting there were now brownish blobs all over my outfit where I tried to rub out 'Hazelnut Supreme' with a limp paper towel from the restroom. Ever chivalrous, Al offered to stop by on his way to the golf course and drop off some new pants.
What a nice offer! Since I wasn't meeting with any clients, I declined. No one would notice a few spots. I mean, the way I dress, no one would blink if I showed up in scuba fins one morning. They'd all figure it was the hot thing on the Paris runways and keep typing.
But what if I did have a big meeting that day, and needed some emergency duds? How on earth would the fashion editor at Vogue send the Computer Geek with a pocket protector into her closet for a replacement outfit?
At my house, it would sound a lot like this:
(Via Cell Phone)
Me: Ok, honey, first I want you to get some string.
Al: String?
Me: String. Tie one end to the door knob of my closet, and the other end to your belt loop. I don't want you getting lost, and bread crumbs would attract ants.
Al: Just tell me what you want.
Me: White Capri pants. West Wall, left side.
Al: Ok.
Me: No, not those! Those are winter white!
Al: I haven't touched anything yet!
Me: I don't want anything yellowy or wooly...
Al: Yeah, yeah. White pants.
Me: Capri Pants!! The short ones.
Al: You're five-foot-one. They're all short.
Me: The short-er ones!
Al: Ok, got it.
Me: Not the ones with black trim!
Al: What?
Me: I have on Navy. Black piping would clash. Solid white ones, cotton, short... do they have belt loops?
Al: What?
Me: I'll need a belt, if so. A red belt, or a navy one with silver buckle... helloo?? Hellloo???
Hmmm... patriotic, yet coffee-resistant
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