Blog-napped!

Lisa Simpson to Jessica Simpson: Take the IQ!!

No, I wasn’t held at gunpoint away from the computer. More like snooze napping – asleep at the keyboard. As Mr. Right pointed out, all three of my loyal readers most likely didn’t notice.

Thanks for the vote of confidence, Al. I love you too.


But a new year is the perfect time for reflection. And resolutions. Is anybody reading this crap? Does anybody care? Have I enlightened or enraged you? Amused or engaged you? Or did this site just come up in a search for Nature Gone Wild?

This year I want to keep a better chronicle of the books I read here, and at the end of the year, perhaps I can compare the number of books read to shoes bought. Should I be expanding my mind or my closet? At the end of the day (one’s life) does it really matter?

The first book I’ll count as an 07 poses that question, after a fashion. It’s I Feel Bad About My Neck, by Nora Ephron. Grade: B- . A nice light collection of little essays about life in New York, aging, and ultimately “the D word”. Death.

Does it matter if you die beautiful? Accomplished? Known for charitable works?

I liked the book. Not laugh-out-loud funny, but good. Several flashes of true worth, so probably far beyond my humble blog. Hell, even if my blog were better, this book was PUBLISHED, so right there, she’s ahead of me. Should that be a 2007 resolution? Get published? Or is Get A Life sufficiently encompassing?

Actually, the one real thing I have been pursuing (so far…, let’s see, it’s only the seventh…) is healthy eating and exercise in the hopes of weight loss. Yes, like every other American female, I dread the thought of a Fairy Godmother appearing with a Stockton-esque bargain.

Would you like ten more IQ points, or to lose ten pounds? Which would you pick? (For sake of argument, let’s assume IQ here really means a measure of intelligence encompassing things like knowledge, skill, logic and even a dash of common sense; things a standardized test cannot measure.)

Hmmm. Let’s face it – right now you’re brighter than about 90% of the idiots you are forced to come into daily contact with. Do you really need that extra ten points? Is that even measurable on a day to day basis? Would you really be able to lord that extra ten over one or two percent more people? How would it change your career? Love life?

I’m not a fan of the singer/musician John Mayer, but from what little I saw of him on a talk show, he seems pretty smart. Well, at least he possessed a decent vocabulary, and could hold a basic conversation. Who have the tabloids linked him to romantically? Jessica Simpson. I suppose we could argue she’s “smarter than her public persona”, but c’mon. Isn’t this just further confirmation that men see better than they think?

For the Average (Corn-fed, Midwestern) Jane like myself, wouldn’t the ten pound make the only noticeable difference? Would my self-esteem be more enhanced by finally finishing the ‘easy’ Sudoku or buying the smaller size jeans?

I know what a ten-billion-dollar a year beauty industry wants me to pick.

So, what of it, dear readers? Shall we improve our minds or our bodies this year?

Does it really matter?

Tally for January 7, 2007: Shoes: 0 Books: 1