Wednesday, May 17, 2006

So Much Sarcasm, So Little Time


Well the media reports on the Marengo killing are flooding in. Seems the suspect ‘confronted’ police and was shot. If by confronted, you mean ‘raised hands in air’…

My coworker said, “I’d feel a lot better if the police had some evidence linking him to the crime scene.”

“They’re putting it there now,” I assured him. How they will explain why the suspect lost his right hand in the car chase I’m not too sure, but I’m confident they’ll think of something.

Again, what if this is all some big set up? What if the real killer made it look like a home invasion, threw some jewelry in the car and left the keys in it not far away, betting that someone would take the car with the police in hot pursuit?

Let’s ask Robert Blake and OJ Simpson to take a little time out of their busy schedule of looking for the real killers of their wives and see if they have any insight.

Gosh! Will this cast a negative light on ‘upscale Marengo trailer parks’?

Earlier I alluded to a pattern of suspected murderers of the elderly turning up dead. I tried to find a link to the specific story, but was unable to locate one.

To recap: In 1997 an 80-year-old Harvard woman was found dead in her home, suffocated and bound with a telephone cord. About nine days later police surrounded a suspect – a 41-year-old drifter with no permanent address – who supposedly stuck a knife in his own chest rather than be captured by police. He too had the victim’s car.

McHenry County Sheriff Keith Nygren was quoted as saying, “I wish we had been able to talk to him. I'm sure we could have gotten a confession." I am too.

How hard do you have to push a knife into your own chest to die? Pretty hard. Feel your sternum. Hard to hold your hand that high, isn’t it? Easier to do your belly, right?


Yeah. I thought so.

It’s Okay now residents, go home. You’re safe. Nothing more to see here. Keep moving.


But keep your doors locked.

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