Latest Immigrant to Take Jobs From Hard-Working American Bears?What's black and white and rented all over the U.S.?
Apparently those cuddly pandas visible at four zoos across America.
Like you, I once thought the pandas were gifts or loans from China. You know, a 'thank-you for not invading us when we smashed the students in Tiananmen Square like the insignificant bugs that they are' kind of a thing.
Well it's come to my attention that the pandas are rentals. Seems Beijing charges about a million dollars a year for a pair of the cuddly critters, and if they do the impossible and reproduce, that'll be another $600K, thank you. Nice to know it took our crack intelligence agencies years to figure out we were getting the occidental rate - Thailand pays a bear minimum of $25K a year for the privilege. Didn't take that closed society long to get the hang of price gouging your rivals, now did it?
While I was wasting my time wondering if they were bears or raccoons, China has been raking in the dough. Supposedly these funds are to finance preservation programs in China, but I for one am skeptical that the money is being spent on bamboo reforestation, or that loaning pandas is little more than a political gesture.
Seeing that we've started global turbulence for less (like imaginary WMD), I suggest stopping the extortion payments. Issue the little furballs political amnesty and let them apply for citizenship. Bet they can learn the Star Spangled Banner in English.
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