Need to start packing for my big adventure in missed connections, or whatever it is that next week brings.
Must make a list:
Sunscreen. SPF 400.
Paperback books. Three or four.
Bathing Suits (I have seven, but can’t swim. Don’t ask.)
Hair Care Products (It’s not how you get there, it’s how good you look when you arrive)
Rain poncho, snow boots, tourniquets, splint, snake bite kit, parka. (You know darn well something awful will happen to ruin my trip)
Positive Attitude. (Heck, if I had one of those, I wouldn’t need this trip so damn bad, now would I?)
Steamer trunk full of evening gowns. (Worked for Ginger)
Big sapphire necklace. (No, wait, that’s for boat trips. What do you take on planes? I didn’t design the aircraft, nor can I fly one.)
Toothbrush.
Shoes. Shoes. Shoes.
Empty space for souvenirs.
Excuses for customs regarding said souvenirs. (Know your rights! Alligators are not endangered! Florida allows the collection of herps for personal pets)
We’ll be flying into Miami.
Everything I know about Miami I learned many years ago watching Miami Vice:
Pastels are in!
Everyone is a drug dealer.
Boat chases are a twice-daily occurrence.
Your job would be way cooler set to rock music.
Stubble is hot. (Does this mean I don’t have to shave my legs?)
An incredibly rare vintage Ferrari can be parked anywhere and still be there when you return. Ha!
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