Red, White, and Blog

Mr. Right After I’m Done Taping These Windows is still diligently working to stain the house. Some genius at the paint store told him he would only need 15 gallons to complete the job. The cedar sucked that up in seconds and asked for more, causing a two-state search for more stain. Now, you’re supposed to buy all the stain first and mix it together to assure an even color, but Al knows what he’s doing, of course.

Like this business with the windows. He asked me to help him tape off some windows last night. He’s applying the stain with a sprayer, so the windows need to be covered with newspaper. OK. I can handle that. He climbs the ladder, I hand up sheets of newspaper (as I’m done reading them). I learn Spain has sanctioned same sex marriages and there’s this queen in Africa who died of mysterious causes at age 28, and…hey, what’s taking so long? I’ve never seen anyone spend that much time applying masking tape around a window. I hand up a sheet of newsprint, and he positions it just so…90 degree angle to magnetic north, perpendicular to the ground, allowing a slight rise for uneven terrain…ZZZZZZZ.

I’m tired. Bugs are biting me. Bo-rrrring. I see he has four sheets going down the window and three others making up the little gap on the side. I go inside with another roll of tape and leave him to his trigonometry functions. I re-create the 4-3 pattern on the floor, slap a few bits of tape here and there, and carry out a pre-made sheet. Here. I walk back in to repeat the process. By the time I return, he has dismantled my sloppy mass-produced covering and is once again making origami folds and creases of perfection. All the print is facing the same way and in proper page order to boot. Never mind. I’m going back inside. I’m just sorry I didn’t suggest Christmas wrap, he could have put little bows on them for good luck.