Because I Blog So

What could be even better news for me than a record-breaking heat wave of a summer? More daylight! As if reading my mind, Congress is set to vote on extending daylight savings time. This move would save energy. More importantly, it would make ME happy. We need more laws like this. Ones with my personal stamp of approval all over them.

Speaking of stamps….the Corvette will appear on a commemorative stamp celebrating Sports Cars of the Fifties. Corvettes got really cool in the sixties, but I’m not complaining. It’s a start. Can’t wait to walk into the post office and have to explain I want them to tear out just the Corvette ones from the big sheet…

No, no, I don’t want a whole book. I just want the Corvettes.

I told you, I’m not paying for the others. No, I don't want the Thunderbird.

Just rip the little Corvettes out until there are twenty…

Yes. I’m serious. Start perforating.

BANG!!



Ok, so that one didn’t end so well. Back to the daylight thing…

Guess who’s whining about the proposed change? The Chicago-based National PTA for one. What a bunch of sissies. Worrying about tykes walking to school in the darkness, boo-hoo. The real Luddites are the International Association of Fire Chiefs. Their whole ‘change your smoke detector batteries’ campaign is centered around Daylight Savings Time. This bunch whimpers that November is too late for the reminder. Oh give me a break! Like does anyone even do that? Don’t most detectors ‘chirp’ when the battery is low? Can’t they restructure their campaign? Oh, let’s not think outside of the burning box.

Did you know car accident fatalities are at their lowest point since 1924? Most likely it means you can’t get enough speed up to kill somebody on our gridlocked roads. But seriously, don’t you think this is a great reason to raise the speed limits? (see ‘Laws that Make Me Happy, above) That way you can rush home and change those smoke detector batteries faster! But wait until the sun comes up so you don’t run over any of those little studious flashlight-toters. Hey, wait a minute… are you connecting the dots here? I am! It’s all a grand conspiracy theory orchestrated by the Battery Producers Lobby to sell more product!! I knew there was a connection!

Poised for World Domination?