The scene: darkened living room, lit by glow of an obnoxiously sized hi-def TV. AL lies sprawled on couch, box of tissue and meticulously completed (in black ink, no smudges or hash marks) Sudoku by his side.
Me: How are you?
Al: I don't feel well.
Me: Do you have flu symptoms?
Al: What are flu symptoms?
Me: (incredulous) You know, fever, chills, aches... Oinking...