As I’ve said multiple times before, cooking is a dangerous pursuit best left to professionals. Unlike Mr. Right, (see “Cooking With an Engineer”) I have no need for recipes, directions or even a minimal attention span when preparing a meal.
It all started with that Family Valu Pak of chicken…
Unfazed by the threat of avian flu, I frequently buy chicken parts in the jumbo package because it’s cheap. I had quite a bit of ‘assorted legs and thighs’ left over (not to mention a few ‘mystery pieces’ thrown in for good measure) and decided to make chicken soup. Not like I had any idea how to do so. It just sounded like the right thing to do. So… I took out a big stock pot. Hmm. Too big. Let’s use this smaller one over here. Boil water. So far, so good. Add bullion. Chop carrots, celery, onion (1/18 of a medium onion. I don’t care for onion.), garlic, parsley. Throw in pot. Good. Good.
Find box of Letters and Numbers in pantry. Cool! Alphabet chicken soup! * Directions said to add for last ten minutes of cooking time. Excellent. Open and pour entire one pound box of pasta in. Cute! The shapes are so tiny! Ten minutes later I had a tasty bowl of soup. Success! I’ll just let the pot cool down before trying to refrigerate leftovers.
***1 Hour Later***
Ooops! There is no more ‘broth’ to be had. The pot is now overflowing with large pasta letters that have sucked up all the moisture. I now have Chicken Encyclopedia Soup. No, wait, Chicken Thorndike. Large Print.
So, if you want some homemade Pasta with chicken flavoring, let me know. I have plenty in the freezer.
*I’m compelled to bring up the time I was with a group from work and we went out to eat at a Greek restaurant and the waitress said the day’s soups were alphabet and lemon chicken. I asked if it was the Greek alphabet…
3 comments:
Boy, Chef Ramsey on Hell's Kithcen would have major fun with you! LOL Just kidding! David doesn't "do" many recipes either and so far he has had more "hits" than misses. we'll send you a recipe for making chicken soup!
Love ya!
Sheila
am i the only man who can cook?
Next time you enter Barnes & Noble or Border's.... find yourself the "cookbook" section and get a little copy of Betty Crocker's Basic Cookbook. It is the primer of cookbooks, simple, but justa bit more comprehensive (in a simple way) than a childrens' "We Can Cook". Might help next time. Oh, and get a small copy - you can hide it then.
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