TMI, NEDM*

Potential Purchase?

Time for another edition of “I Can’t Decide Which New Car to Buy”.

Yeah, I know, there’s a famine in Africa, a war in Iraq, unrest in Israel… and all I can whine about is what twenty-five thousand dollar car do I want to buy. Deal with it. It’s all about me, remember? Anyhoo…

Ah, the good old days. There was only one model: T. Color: black. Not much option there. Things were simple. But boring. Very, very boring.

I love choice. I like to think I’m getting something that suits me. Welcome to car buying in the twenty-first century: thousands upon thousands of makes, models, colors, options, engine types, finance agreements and incentives. This dizzying array of decisions can slow down even the 92% of buyers who think of an automobile as nothing more than transportation. But throw my mindset into the mix, and you’ve just asked for ten months of trouble.

A car is not merely transportation in my book. It is my persona, my public face. It says I’m way cooler than you could ever hope to be. It says I love to drive. It says I love to wash and wax. I love high payments and crappy gas mileage. I hate snow. Who needs a blog when you drive a rolling billboard of your Weltanschauung and insecurities?

I do believe there are several area car dealerships that have me on their no-hang-up list. This means if I walk onto your lot, do not end that phone call to your spouse, since I’m just going to browse anyway. I will test drive every permutation of every make on your lot only to say two hours later that I need to think about it.

Pontiac? No. They stopped making the Trans-Am with Ram Air, so at least that inappropriate choice is out of the mix. But the Sunfire, Grand Prix and G6 failed to impress.

Ford? Other than the Mustang, they fail to inspire.

Chevy? Can I even look at a cheap one with that Vette four feet away?

Toyota? No, not that happy with the Celica.

Mazda? Nice, but consumer reports gave it poor reliability ratings.

Dodge? The Charger is too big for me and the Neon too cheapo.

Nissan? Too big.

Subaru? Perhaps. I’ve been mulling that one since last October.

Acura? Getting close. Trying out the RSX line in the hopes of making a commitment soon.

I decided to research the RSX vs. the Subaru WRX online. I stumble across chat rooms where the debate rages – who knew? Seems these are the two premium sporty autocross choices with legions of followers who are only too happy to defend their choice. I spend countless bleary-eyed hours far into the night reading testimonials, tire recommendations, performance tips and the like. Seems the RSX needs better tires if I am to drive in wet and snow. Some claim the WRX turbo has too much lag and is too high – maintenance. Bottom line: both cars need high octane gas and are in just short enough supply that dealerships can treat you like dirt when buying one. Why me?

I always pick the expensive, difficult car that I have to drive to the ends of the earth to obtain. I must secretly enjoy the challenge; otherwise I would have bought a Ford Taurus long ago.

So the nearest Acura dealership is some forty miles away. Mr. You’re Going to Make Up Your Mind Soon, Right? Was kind enough to go with for another exciting round of test-n-think.

We enter a very plushy and upscale dealership. After my usual grubby experience at the local Toyota joint, this wooden-floored-black-leather-couched showplace is a welcome change. I ask for Dan, who spoke with me on the phone before my visit. He turns me over to Skippy the trainee.

Skippy is all of twenty and has no clue. About anything.

I tell Skip that I would like to try out one of the RSX’s. I can’t stop fondling the orange one on the showroom floor. I really like it. This is a good sign. It’s an obscenely expensive impractical race car in a hard-to-find color. Yep. This will be the one I will make an offer on. I can see it now: no agreement is reached or I will wait so long it is sold and I spend the rest of my life trying to find another orange one at the price I want to pay. I never get the first one I negotiate for. That would be waaaay too easy.

So we pile into a sedate grey version and go for a spin. The six-speed gear stick is the smoothest and easiest shifter I have ever driven. The car glides. You can’t even tell it is a manual transmission. The six speeds are confusing me however, and the tight pattern has me picking the wrong gear a third of the time. Of course, I would get the hang of it after two days or so, but on a ten-minute test drive there is no time.

I apologize for the missed gears and bring the car back to the front of the dealership. Usually the dealer is very picky about how the cars are parked for display and insists on parking it themselves (too many people hit things while backing, I’m sure). Skippy asks if I can park the car, since he can’t drive a manual transmission. Boy, glad I apologized for that missed gear, huh?

Skippy is very proud of the sub-woofer in the trunk. I’ve since learned from my net buddies that it is there to drown out the tire noise. I ask him to write down the vin # so I can insurance-shop. He fumbles for a scrap of paper. I observe that perhaps his business card would be a good place to put it for me. I am surprised he has a real business card. Maybe all the twenty-somethings have the same John Doe business card. I should corner another one and see.

Skippy asks what brings me to his Acura dealership. You’re the only one for forty miles, I observe. Why couldn’t you put any in...? and proceed to name several huge markets near me. So, how long have you been looking for a car? Since last October.
This guy couldn’t sell a side of beef to a starving cheetah. He just missed a chance to not only sell me a car, but an entire franchise.

He says he will call when they get the base model with an automatic transmission in so I can try that for comparison. This of course would be a much better buy: better on gas, insurance, cheaper list price, etc. Sure enough, he calls me today and now I have to make the commitment to driving back over there. I hope he has been reading his little sales manual. I really need to make an offer on something soon.

*Too Much Information, Not Enough Decision-Making