Actual Conversation

Me: Whew! I'm beat. It just took me two hours to buy two pairs of shoes. I should be eligible for a government grant, I did so much research. I wanted some new shoes to walk the dog with, but they had to look good, and you know how impossible that is...

Mom: Look good? You live five miles out in the country. Who on earth is going to see you?

Me: What if Carrie Bradshaw had the attitude that in a city of nine million, no one would notice what she was wearing? I mean, really... where would we be?

Mom: go on..

Me: So I had this ten dollar off coupon for Famous Footwear --

Mom: How do you get this stuff?

Me: There's this big group of retailers that take turns sending me coupons to stimulate the economy. It's a heavy burden, but I'm up to the task. Anyhoo... I tried on every brand of athletic shoe they make and decided Keds were my best choice. Most cute. Not a bad shoe for walking either. But they were $40, so $30 with my coupon, but then I saw the shoe I really wanted, a white Sketcher, but they're like evening gown shoes. Too expensive for walking the dog. They start at $50, but these were on Clearance for forty, or $30 with the coupon and I just couldn't decide, so then I went next door to Kohl's...

Mom: You had a coupon there too?

Me: Well of course. They do coupons almost every day. I only had 15% off, but I wanted to look anyways.

Mom: Only 15?

Me: Yeah, I usually won't walk in there for less than 20, but I really wanted the shoes. So I see they had Keds on sale, but they pulled the old 'our part number' trick.

Mom: What?

Me: That's where the store puts their own stock number on an item to make it much harder for you to figure out apples to apples when comparing their price to a competitor. The electronic stores have the manufactures make up different models just for them so you can't ever buy that item elsewhere. You have to make somebody open up the box so you can read ALL the specs and compare. They're not used to uber-consumers like myself who will actually do that. Most likely they aren't expecting Famous Footwear to be right next door, either, but I'm pretty sure it was the same shoe. Or at least close enough that the $33 sale on Keds plus my 15% off made me feel good about my research.

Mom: So what did you do?

Me: Bought the Keds for $26 after tax, and the Sketchers for $30 with the coupon next door. I'm pooped. Hope Al has dinner on.


Afterword: First off, allow me to admit that I already have one Keds and one Skechers in tan, so these were just the same thing in white. HOWEVER, something is very different between the tan suede and white smooth leather Skechers. (Note: these are designed to be worn without socks) The new white ones caused three agonizing blisters within thirty minutes of the first wearing. No wimp, I'm determined to break them in. I've been wearing them some every day since. I now no longer have feeling in my left foot. I pray that means the bleeding has stopped and the calluses have begun to form. Let's hope. My friend Martha noticed I was limping and told me she just donated her two barely used pairs of Skechers to a shoe drive since they did the same thing to her. Really? I said, pulling a box of band-aids out of my desk drawer. Readers, have you had this experience? The tan ones are a dream, I really thought I was getting another pair of slipper-soft shoes. The white are causing heel blisters and the left toe may have to be amputated to stop the ice-pick intense pain on that side. OUCH!!