Me: "So let me get this straight... The Cubs sweep the series on the North Side, and the Sox sweep the series on the South Side?"
Al: "That's right"
Me: "Oh, that's not rigged for ratings."
Al: "What makes you think they could find two Chicago teams that would agree to cheat?"
Me:"I saw they had the little kids planting oaks at the conservation property down the street today."
Al: "Did you ask them to come down here and plant a few?"
Me: "I was driving a vintage muscle car that burns 93 octane. I wasn't taking any chances by slowing down in front of a group of environmentalists."