First for Faust

Awwww!*

Well, gosh, look who got near the computer again…Mr. Right tied it up for some six hours last night downloading tax forms. Why do I get the feeling Al Capone Jr. is going to get me in some sort of trouble with our do-it-yourself tax return? I’m not worried about doing jail time (however, the thought of catching up on all my reading is VERY tempting…). If the feds started grilling me about the taxes I’d just say, “Oh, you think Mr. Right is a tax cheat! Ha! Let me tell you some of the really good stuff…for complete immunity of course. Then I’d make up a bunch of lies and go on Oprah to cry about how my husband’s in jail and things are so tough. She could introduce me to Jim Frey’s agent or something.

Just read The $64 Tomato by William Alexander. Not impressed. Cute idea – man figures out how much it really cost him to raise his own tomatoes and comes up with $64 each. I was expecting Erma Bombeck, but it fell far short. I never cared about him or his family. The writing (he’s an English major) failed to pop – not hysterically funny, not deeply profound. I was never drawn into the garden, caring as fiercely as he did about each little sprout. All I saw was a rich yuppie throwing away money because he couldn’t stand up to contractors. At the end, when he had to retire from gardening due to a bad back, I felt nothing. There were some amusing anecdotes, but that’s about it. On the other hand, I could read Bill Bryson’s grocery list and laugh, cry, and ponder the beginnings of the universe. It’s all in the writer.

Mr. I-Could-Save-The-World-Too, Right is watching 24. They have this disclaimer come on warning viewer discretion due to violence or some such nonsense. A more accurate statement would be: Due to Impossible Situations, Viewer Gullibility is Advised.

Excited about the prospect of seeing Faust, the 8 ft. Komodo Dragon who’s on loan from the Fort Worth Zoo. Faust will appear at the Shedd Aquarium beginning Saturday. The Shedd is the most visited aquarium in America. (You may recall Monterey Aquarium in California was posting record receipts, but they had to let their Great White Shark go because it was acting, well like a Great White Shark. It was eating everything else in the tank. Personally, I think that would not have been reason to release it back to the wild, but certainly reason to double the entrance fee!) I will NOT be waiting A) for Flu Boy B) until the last minute.

It’s my own darn fault. I gleefully filled out two of those ‘how do you like your new car’ surveys, and now I have received two more in the mail! I suppose I think I am actually influencing automotive design or some crap. More like skewing some demographic. They just must be selling my name to a bazillion survey lists. Who cares? So far, I’ve made $2 filling out these stupid forms. Can’t beat that!

Watched Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Prices.
Oh. My. God.
I always knew they were evil, but this was beyond the pale. 5 stars! (Not so much for style, just for change-your-life-ism)

*Tribune photo of Faust by Milbert O. Brown