It's So Wrong to Like this Song (But I Do)

Right now, he's probably slow dancin' with a bleach blonde tramp and she's probably gettin frisky

Right now he's probably byin' her some fruity little drink cause she can't shoot whiskey

Right now he's probably up behind her with a pool stick showin' her how to shoot a combo

And He don't know... I dug my key into the side of his pretty little suped up four wheel drive

Carved my name into his leather seats I took a Louisville Slugger to both headlights

Slashed a hole in all four tires

Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

Help Wanted

Healthy, Disciplined, Self-Motivated team player with 20-20 vision sought for exciting job opportunity. Risk-taking a must. Heavy travel required, frequent flyer miles not accumulated.
Those whose idea of pushing the envelope is a post office job need not apply!

Low, Low, Cure Rates, Everyday!

Ah, the evil genius that is Wal-Mart.

Foiled (temporarily) in their attempt to enslave the 90% of Americans it counts as customers by branching into the banking business, Wal-Mart just announced plans to expand the number of health clinics it operates.

Hmmm...this only has my best interests at heart, right? Or should I say only interested in my best heart as in a "spare part" for Sam, kept in suspended animation in amniotic fluid somewhere in the bomb shelter several stories below the Bentonville store?

How handy. A clinic to tell their employees no need for a sick day. To push certain high-margin drugs. To become another cog in the Medicaid/Medicare wheel. To be the 'low bidder' on Public Assistance care.

H2 O, Oh, I'm Hoping....

Astronomers announced yesterday that they have found the most Earth-like planet yet outside of our solar system, with a climate that could support water and life.

"This one is the first one that is at the same time probably rocky, with water, and in a zone close to the star [a sun] where the water could exist in liquid form," said Stephane Udry of the Geneva Observatory in Switzerland.

"We have estimated that the mean temperature of this super-Earth lies between 0 and 40 degrees Celsius [32 to 104 degrees F]," Udry said.

As my loyal readers know, I've been seeking that off-the-beaten-Milky-Way-get-a-way for some time now, and perhaps the lovely Gliese 581c is it!

581c? Is it a non-prophet planet? I hope so. Fundamentalism is just one of the many fun Earth customs I'm fleeing from. 20 light years away? No problem. I've been meaning to catch up on my reading.

I saw an astronomer on CNN quip something along the lines of, "if there was life on this planet, we would have heard from them by now". What? Get real. If it's intellegent life, they're hoping to duck behind their star before we can contact THEM.

Do you blame them?

More Math...

HOBOKEN, N.J. (AP) — He's a veteran of long-distance sailing voyages in all kinds of weather. She's never sailed outside the Hudson River.

But together, 55-year-old Reid Stowe and his 23-year-old girlfriend, Soanya Ahmad, embarked Saturday on a voyage that they intend to take them three times around the globe and last 1,000 days and nights — non-stop, with no port calls for supplies or a walk on solid ground.

They set sail Saturday afternoon aboard his 70-foot, two-masted schooner, named the Schooner Anne, from a Hudson River marina in North Hoboken, in bright sunshine and temperatures in the 70s.

"This will be my first time sailing ever — except for up and down the Hudson River," said Ahmad, the New York-raised daughter of immigrants from Guyana.

"I haven't gotten seasick — so far," she said with a grin.

She may be tested when the yacht rounds South America's Cape Horn, an area infamous for waves as high as 100 feet, as well as icebergs.

OK, third graders, get out your pencils!
55 yr. old + (tons of money X 70 ft. Yacht) = 23 yr. old girlfriend

Here's their blog: http://1000daysatsea.blogspot.com/

Numbers in the News!

Seventeen consecutive days without an appliance uprising!

Too Beautiful To Blog!

Sorry, but it's much to nice to sit inside and type.

(Unlike some people, I can't do it in the yard)

Very busy today; shampooed the carpets, the dog, the cat, and the Acura. Yes, I bathe my cat. I'm a clean freak. I make Mr. Monk look like a slob, OK?

Polished the Acura and the summer wheels are on! I'll try to post later this week, as rain is predicted. Started taking water aerobic classes again, now that the weather is nice, so perhaps I'll be busier during the week than I expect.

Indy seems pretty perky, but far from cured. I remain optimistic for his recovery. Turtles are awake and I'm offering them food, but not many takers yet.

Just read Happy Birthday or Whatever by Annie Choi. Funny! Although I couldn't take her parents, she obviously writes about them with affection. A-

Awww...poor little gal

At the right you will see a new widget for the Great Turtle Race!

Each turtle can be added to your blog as a sidebar icon, and I'm assuming that counts as "a friend" that has selected to support that turtle.

I am my turtle's only friend!

That sneaky Stephanie Colburtle (in honor of Stephen Colbert) has 36 already!

Revenge of the Auto Abused!!

TOKYO: The mayor of Nagasaki was shot and killed Tuesday night in a brazen attack by a gangster who was apparently enraged that the city had refused to compensate him after his car was damaged at a public works construction site, the police said.

The mayor, Iccho Ito, 61, was shot twice in the back at point-blank range outside a train station said Rumi Tsujimoto, a Nagasaki police official.

(the shooter) Shiroo reportedly clashed with Nagasaki city officials in 2003 after his car was damaged when he drove into a hole at a public works site. He tried unsuccessfully to get compensation from the city after his insurance company refused to pay up, according to Japanese broadcaster NHK.

I haven't been able to document exactly what (or should I say which, the guy's a billionaire) car he was avenging, but I do feel his pain. I found this excellent article about the cars of the Yakuza!

Do take a moment to read about status trends and safety considerations of mob bosses. Very fascinating! The article seems to suggest Shiroo may have been taking vengeance for an American-made Cadillac. How quaint! Much better than a Toyota Camry.

Quick Look at the News

It’s taken me so long to go through the day’s headlines; I don’t have time to blog at all!

Or perhaps I’m just too disgusted to type. Whatever.

Here’s a few quick highlights:

“New Development to Feature 1,400 homes on 1,100 Acres”

The name? “Wildflowers of Prairie Grove”. I’m sure all those homeless wildflowers appreciate it. Oh, wait they can just uproot. They can keep the prairie Buffalo company in heaven. Guess I should be thanking my lucky stars it wasn’t 2200 homes on 500 acres, right? Yeah, I’m such a half-full type. Half full of poison, that is.

“Water Authority and Tax Go Down the Drain”

Thank you, 5,211 people who recognized the need for clean water and controlled growth, and hats off to the 4,622 who were willing to help pay for it. As for the other 18 thousand or so of you…See you in Hell. Oh, wait, we’re there already, thanks to all of your development and careless pollution. Never mind. You win.

“Gunman Left Clues to Violence in His Writings”

Professor Carolyn Rude is quoted as saying Virginia gunman Co Seung-Hui’s writing was so disturbing that he had been referred to the University’s counseling service.
Hmmmm…. How did Stephen King ever graduate?

“Cheney: Threat of Nuclear attack in U.S. city ‘Very Real’”

This is the only ‘statistic’ the man has ever cited that I believe. Sadly, the only reason is: Dick Cheney. Threat of Dubya ever pronouncing nuclear correctly? Nil.

To Flush or Not to Flush – That is the Question

Or: Why Didn’t I Just Self-Medicate on the Web?

I feel so awful! Poor little Indy the fish has been suffering since Easter, and I’m such an idiot!

One morning, Indy couldn’t rise to the top of his bowl. He lay on the bottom, gasping for air, looking pathetic. I tapped on the glass, and he made a mighty effort to come to the top and beg for food. Poor little guy. They only live about three years, so let’s just say I was a bit hesitant to visit a veterinary fish specialist. I decided to wait.

Amazingly enough, he didn’t die. But was he in pain? How to tell? He still had an appetite, and didn’t kick off. So, I guess I’ll just wait. And wait I did.

I knew just enough to determine he was experiencing a swim bladder problem. I figured it occurred when I transferred him to a clean bowl of water. Perhaps being in the net caused distress? Too much air?

Unfortunately, I didn’t think to consult Web MD. I mean, if Maytag Sucks can fix your appliance, why didn’t I Google “Defective Fish from Siam” or something?

In the meantime, I bought another Betta. Nice light red shade, active. Either Indy would appreciate a friend, or die of a broken heart when he saw his ‘replacement’. Oh, like you haven’t wondered if the Mormons have the right idea about bringing home a second (or third) spouse to shape up the first one a little.

So with their little globes next to each other, the two fish seemed to coexist happily. Daytona set about making a little bubble nest at the top of his water line, hoping to convince a female betta that the sluggish Indy would make a poor mate. After a day or so, he quit. It was so obvious there was NO competition on the horizon.

Indy hung in there, but was unable to predict any of our freak mid-April snowstorms. Still had a hearty appetite, so I figured it was best to keep his routine the same and hope for some miracle recovery.

Tonight, for some strange reason, I decided to Google “swim bladder pet fish” and came across this entry.

Well now, I’ve been doing everything wrong! And help was just a click away! Can’t wait until I’m diagnosed with a brain tumor. Bet there’s all kinds of handy home remedies online!! I’m going to take the advice above and I’ll keep you posted. I hope it’s not too late to save Indy!

Note: I feed a varied diet, but it does include pellets, and Ms. Fields notes that some fish are just more susceptible, especially older ones.

Awesome website!

Join the fun! Pick a turtle! Track her progress! Donate to help stop development!

www.greatturtlerace.com

Stop Blaming Sharks!

Sydney - An Australian teenager was lucky to be alive on Sunday after she survived being mauled by a massive sea lion while surfing.

Ella Murphy was attacked by the creature, thought to weigh about 300kg, as she stood on a surfboard being towed behind a boat on Saturday.

The animal was close to charging the 13-year-old girl a second time as she floundered in the water off the coast of the small town of Lancelin in Western Australia when she was rescued by the driver of the boat, Chris Thomas."You can only describe it as like a white pointer (shark) jumping out of the water," he told News Limited newspapers.

"It actually lined her up. It jumped out of the water at her and hit her head-on. It must have been travelling at an enormous speed. It opened its mouth and grabbed her head. It latched on."

Thomas manoeuvred his boat between the sea lion and the girl to prevent a second mauling."It was going back for her, it was looking for her and it spotted her," he said. "I had this horrible feeling I was not going to make it back in time."

Ella, who suffered a broken jaw and lost three teeth in the attack, was in a stable condition at Princess Margaret Hospital late Saturday.

Her mother, Michelle Forbes, said her daughter had a gash under her chin which was "quite close to her carotid artery.""We could have lost her," she said.

Sea lions are a protected species and it is thought that environmental officers will attempt to move it into another area rather than kill it.

Beats a Hook...

TAIPEI, Taiwan — A zoo worker had his forearm reattached yesterday after his colleagues recovered the severed limb from the mouth of a 440-pound Nile crocodile, an official said.

The crocodile severed Chang Po-yu's forearm on Wednesday at the Shaoshan Zoo in the southern city of Kaohsiung when the veterinarian tried to retrieve a tranquilizer dart from the reptile's hide, zoo officials said.

The Liberty Times newspaper said Chang failed to notice the crocodile was not fully anesthetized when he stuck his arm through an iron rail to medicate it.

As Chang was rushed to the hospital on Wednesday, a zoo worker shot two bullets at the crocodile's neck to retrieve the forearm, said Chen Po-tsun, a zoo official.

"The crocodile was unharmed as we didn't find any bullet holes on its hide," Chen said. "It probably was shocked and opened its mouth to let go of the limb."

The 17-year-old reptile is one of a pair of Nile crocodiles kept by the Kaohsiung zoo. The crocodile is listed as an endangered species, and is rapidly disappearing from its native African habitat.

Chen said the zoo purchased the crocodile from a local resident who had kept it as a pet.

Check out video here!

And So it Goes...

1922-2007

"There is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president."...

What I've Been Reading

Higher Power of Lucky

Good, but not great. I liked the idea of a little girl on a spiritual quest who liked to listen in on twelve-step meetings, but the whole Disney orphan thing was too maudlin. Formulaic, I saw everything coming a mile and a half away, and most ten-year-olds probably could too. Makes me wonder what was pick two and three during the Newberry voting. B-

Edith Head by David Cherichetti

I didn’t care for the writing, and the subject was too much of an enigma to be truly interesting. Short on gossip, as purportedly Head was herself. All I took away was a sense of awe over her work ethic and professionalism, but I was equally saddened to think she never felt good or worthy in her life. Ultimately, the book was a bummer. C.

God is Not Great by Christopher Hitchens

But this book sure is! I give it an A since I totally agree with the author.

Looking for Alaska by John Green
Very good, a great writer and a YA novel of note. I don’t know how I would teach the novel; I mean there are others that get young people’s questions about life/death and the reluctance to live, etc. across better, but a stupendous first novel in authentic voice. A-.

Just Say NO!

Help me out here, folks. I can’t be the only one who thinks bringing the Olympics to Chicago is a bad idea. Patronage will be the only winner. The taxpayer will have a huge burden for years to come, plus ultimately useless buildings, traffic snarls and billions wasted on security. For what? Like who in the international community is even going to come to America by 2016? I’m betting most countries boycott the event to protest our actions. Look at London, their estimate on costs to host 2012 have already tripled! Like we need that. Hello? Terrorists? Over here! Yep. That's all we need: another spoiled politician's son trying to one-up daddy.

I'm having enough problems paying my own gas bill, thank you.

For Chicago Mayor Richard M. Daley and insurance titan Patrick Ryan, his
chief lieutenant in this effort—two powerhouses with histories of getting what
they want—the outcome will further sculpt personal legacies already shaped by
bold moves.

"This would very much be a capstone to Daley's administration," Chicago historian Perry Duis said. "It may be the first item in biographical sketches. In other words, 'Richard M. Daley, who brought the Olympics to Chicago.' "

"His status would be greater, in the tradition of the 1893 World's Columbian Exposition, and the 1933 World's Fair," said political scientist and former alderman Dick Simpson. "Symbolically, it would put him in the realm of [Chicago visionary architect] Daniel Burnham and others responsible for those events.

"Whether his place in Chicago history would outshine the legacy of his father, the late Mayor Richard J. Daley, remains to be seen, Simpson said.

Happy Friday the Thirteenth!

Time for Toast!

I'm telling you, the toaster is trying to kill me. Every morning, it pushes the bread up just a little less in the hopes I will get out a fork and try to fish it out, electrocuting myself in the process. Why can't my appliances just wish to fill their designed destinies?

Talkie Toaster

...apparently manufactured by a Taiwanese company named "Crapola Inc."

Addiction is not Pretty

Jelly Belly Raspberry and Blackberry Gumdrops

But it sure is tasty!