Pet Stupid

As we've established, I pretty much live for coupons. (I won't get out of bed in the morning, much less enter your retail establishment for less than 30% off.) So a $5 off coupon for dog food at my favorite pet chain, Pet Smart, necessitated a trip to the strip mall.

As Al once pointed out, perhaps we should be shopping at a place called Pet Stupid, as our kids aren't so bright. We once saw this tiny Chihuahua taking toys from a floor-level display and putting them in his owner's carry basket when she wasn't looking. It was hysterical. Our dopey dog would have been peeing on the cat toy endcap or something, I'm sure.

Anyhoo... I went to the aisle with the humongous bags of dog food and made my selection. Score! Pro Plan had an extra-big bonus size bag of 36 pounds or something. Coupled with the extra $5 off, a good deal indeed. Now, obviously there are days when we really need dog food and I don't have a coupon. That's when I move from the premium section to the 'assorted horse parts' area. But today, Real Lamb!! Throw that treasure in the cart!

I don't know if it was the size of the bag, a little larger; the weight, a little heavier; or even lesser packaging thickness to save a few cents; but the end result was dog food all over the floor of the store. Yep. There I am on a Tuesday night with a jumbo bag of kibble quickly spilling through the mesh of the cart. It makes quite a sound, kind of a whhooooshh...ching, ching, ching... as the last few strays hit the metal.

Glancing around, I see a woman five aisles away giving me that phony sympathetic look. You know, the one that says, Oh, I'm so sorry for you ... and so glad it's not me...

From nowhere comes a manager assuring me this happens all the time and he'll take care of it. He immediately gets another cart and puts a bag in for me. I thank him profusely and slink towards the check out. Behind me, he's sucking up the pellets with a little shop-vac. I guess it really does happen all the time.

Thanks for the stellar service, Pet Smart. I'll be back--

As soon as you send another coupon.

I suggest one for canned food...