Thursday, May 29, 2008

If you Have it Your Way, Will You Please Move Forward???


Once again I have upset millions in a drive through line in the quest for a particular Happy Meal toy...

Nothing like someone with a heavy accent trying to hurry you to the next window by asking "Boy or Girl toy?", while you shout "Mach 5" and "I want the white car" into a rusty speaker. How sexist! Just because I have neatly paired chromosomes is no indication I would be thrilled with a Bratz doll. I wouldn't. And keep your Hello Kitty while you're at it.

Did I mention this was the Friday Lunch Hour Rush, and two SUVs and five mini-vans loaded with cranky toddlers were honking in impatience?

I can just imagine employees pressing the mute button and yelling to each other in Guatemalan, "Just give her the damn toy! She won't leave! Remember how many times a week she came in during the Cars promotion? She doesn't even have kids! LOSER!!!"

I have no desire to see the movie, but I was a fan of the original cartoon. This was way before I knew what manga meant. I just had a crush on Racer X! The hideous box office take should quell any thoughts of a sequel, and what little previews I've seen turned me off. Here's an excerpt from an interview with the stars of the show. No wonder it tanked!

These two don't sound like auto enthusiasts to me:

Are you car enthusiasts?

Ricci: I used to be, but I’m not anymore. It’s too much work. I had a ’67 Firebird, and my first car ever was a 1964 Ford Falcon Futura station wagon. Then I had the Porsche 911, the year 2000 model. I was kind of into cars, but it’s just too much work. The vintage ones break down, and they don’t pass the smog-emissions checks.

What do you drive now?

Ricci: I won’t say. It’s bad for the environment.

Emile, car enthusiast?

Hirsch: Only the new-technology cars that are absolutely good for the environment. I have a Toyota Prius. I don’t have an interest in any car that isn’t good for the environment, other than maybe an aesthetic quality in a picture book.

Sheeesh. Excuse me, I have to go find someone to co-sign a loan so I can get a tank of 93 octane for the weekend. Heard a rumor it might hit 75 degrees and have an hour or two without rain.


KaneCitizen said...

Reminds me of the extras on the first Spiderman DVD where Dunst and whatshisname both talked about how they never really knew anything about Spiderman before they starred in the movie, implying that they had better things to do while growing up.

KaneCitizen said...

Also, you can clean up your quotes by getting rid of the break tags (< b r > and < / b r >), for instance between "'67" and "Firebird".