Sell-Outs

Heard the gargantuan eyesore formerly known as the Motorola plant has a buyer. I really can’t imagine any uses for the facility that I would personally approve of, so get ready for some serious rants about this development. About the only thing I might like is if Callaway Corvettes moved in. And offered me a job.

A rumor went around town that Mayo Clinic was interested in opening a branch. Great. Helicopters overhead. Ambulances blaring down the street at all hours of the night. Then a friend pointed out that Mayo is more about research. Great. Croesus coming home with two-headed rats. I could open a Slightly Seconds Syringe Shop or something. Must admit to my secret fantasy however: Mayo Clinic calls and says they are out of operating rooms –can they use my master bath? That would validate my quest for cleanliness. I don’t want germs to even think about congregating at my house. The spiders are issued little paper booties at the door so as not to track up my white carpeting. I have so many layers of Future Floor Finish on my kitchen floor that if a drinking glass fell, the floor would shatter into clear sheets of wax and the glass would bounce away unharmed.

I know! Perhaps it will be a company that manufactures modular homes – you know, trailers. Trailers that no one in town can live in.

[Mayor]“Nolan said he assumed that the building might be used for manufacturing because no one had requested zoning changes.”

That’s because the word is out: whatever you want the City Council to approve, they will, regardless of what the Zoning and Planning Commission recommends, or how many angry citizens show up to protest. It’s a cake walk! No zoning issues here. You want a Toxic Dump? No problem. Nuclear Waste Storage? You bet.