BACK IN BLACK!

Yes, it’s finally D-Day! The day I purchased a new car!! Months in the planning! Years in the preparation! It’s over! Kinda like the Sox.

Somehow, I’ve ended up with yet another black car. Well, black with little blue metallic flakes. Kinda cool, like glitter.

There were so many other colors to choose from, I was having a very difficult time, but when it came down to it, the car in the showroom (and car dealerships are lit by the same experts who do the lighting in jewelry stores – magically the product looks ten times better in the display area than outdoors) just happened to have the huge wing spoiler I wanted and looked like a million bucks.

There was a Japanese teenager sitting in it when I arrived at the dealership Saturday afternoon. He was tall and lanky, with an earring and bored rich-kid attitude. He seemed to be buying that one, so I didn’t get too close. His family appeared to be speaking with the salesman so I figured it was a just-got-my-license present or something. I’m sure he’d truly appreciate it.

When you have to shoo away the fast and the furious crowd from your potential purchase, you have to admit your automotive tastes are skewing young. Face it, anyone my age buying this car is having a mid-life crisis. This doesn’t worry me, since I’ve been attracted to the same cars and music since I was seventeen. It’s just a sign of immaturity. So what?

Really liked my salesman, a young Hispanic man who was very knowledgeable about the product. He spent a great deal of time with us as I looked at every color permutation available. Gone are the days you could custom order a car. There were NO special packages or interior color combination choices to be had. They were motivated to sell something on the lot, of course, and that’s how we ended up talking about the black one.

Buying a black car is announcing to the world that you have way too much time on your hands. Those seven hours a night you spend sleeping? It could be so much better devoted to washing and waxing a car. It has the drawing power of a Black Hole to attract bugs, dust and grime. Yet when it’s clean -- it gleams brighter than any star.

We went back and forth on price for a while. I think I did OK. Not great, but I certainly didn’t let them call all the shots about price and was ready to walk at any moment.

It’s amazing how easy it is to drive off THAT DAY with something you haven’t paid for yet. They were like, oh, bring your title in, bring your check in, get financing or you can use ours. Very laid back. Little did they know, Betty Gooch is my grandmother…

She’s got 17-inch wheels, 6 speed manual transmission, 6 CD AM/FM Cassette with sub-woofer and leather seats. ABS. Hatchback. Massive spoiler. Plus heated side mirrors! (Not seats, darn)

Sunday was such a beautiful day – the last “Indian Summer” day we are likely to have. It was in the 60s and partly sunny. I took advantage of the situation and performed all the ‘new car rituals’.

Much like the naming ceremony in Roots, there are special protocols to follow when welcoming a new car. I didn’t have time to wait for the next full moon, as winter is approaching fast.

Baby’s First Photos: park car in various sites around the yard and photograph from every conceivable angle. (These are the photos you will use when selling the car five years from now.) Now you can send these to family and friends as a birth announcement. New development: Blog Posting.

Baby’s First Wax: determine best wax for car type and color. I only use Meguiar’s products and they have a great website to answer any questions you may have about car care. I’m using Gold Class wax. It’s ok to wax a new car immediately as new car parts are cured at higher temperatures than you could use on an assembled, finished vehicle. Meguiar’s recommends waxing four times a year, so I will log this in the service record along with oil changes, etc. If you’re the least bit anal retentive (does that have a hyphen?), you’ll want to buy a car from me. Included will be mountains of paperwork documenting every service item and expenditure.

Waxing is done in a clockwise rotation. Should I move to Australia, I will change to counter-clockwise. I have no explanation for this, except it just feels right. Which it should, I’m going to the right.

I notice some crows flying overhead. Are they cawing their approval of the color? Or merely noting: Fresh Target Sector 8?


Tomorrow: Showing off at work!