All Greek To Me

EU: When it comes to feta, the Greeks stand alone

By Raf Casert
Associated Press

Published October 26, 2005

BRUSSELS -- The European Union's highest court finally settled the fate of feta cheese Tuesday, decreeing it a traditional Greek product deserving protection throughout the 25-nation bloc in a ruling that went against other European producers.

Thank goodness the EU court spent years researching this issue. I’d hate for them to be plotting world domination by unifying currency or something.

Germany and Denmark, backed by France and Britain, had challenged the designation of origin for the salty, crumbly cheese and turned it into a gastronomic fight lasting almost two decades and involving lobbyists, the European Commission and, finally, the European Court of Justice.

When’s the last time this crew agreed on anything? See why I’m uneasy about this whole ‘union’ thing? Waste all the time learning Spanish you want, I still feel Germanic languages are the way to go.

"The court upholds the name `feta' as a protected designation of origin for Greece," the Luxembourg-based court said in its ruling.

Monaco lose the coin-toss to host court?

Danish and German producers had hoped to be able to continue producing such cheese and call it feta to maintain the product's marketability. They argued that what made feta specific was the technique of making it, not the geographical origin.

See also “Big Champagne Fuss”

"Our efforts have been crowned by success. The European Court issued a historic decision, declaring finally and irrevocably that the feta is not for common usage and is exclusively Greek," a jubilant Greek Agriculture Minister Evangelos Basiakos said.

And to think I’ve been duped by inferior imposters!

Danish producers were outraged.

That’s just them.

"The ruling is grotesque and political," said Hans Bender of the Danish Dairy Board. "What will be next? Will the Italians demand that pizza become a protected product that no one can make?"

Grotesque and Political? So’s our current administration. What’s your point?

Name changes, though, will be inevitable.

Fake-A? I Can’t believe it’s Not Feta? Vel-Feta? Feta-Whiz?

"Our feta production will continue. However, we will sell under other names," said Astrid Gade Nielsen, spokeswoman for Arla Foods, a Danish company that produces 25,000 tons of the cheese a year.

What does Wisconsin produce? Do they do Feta? Green Baya?

When the European Commission gave feta its protected designation of origin in 2002, it argued that natural, geographic and human factors had combined to give the cheese its specific Greek character. It said the extensive grazing of special ewes and goats on Greek terrain gave the cheese its specific aroma and flavor.

By any other name, it still stinks as bad…

And don’t get me started on the Special Ewes and Goats.

I can tell you one thing – You won’t see me sneaking that Danish stuff on the same plate as genuine around Mr. Right! Because he can tell the difference, Right?