Thursday, April 28, 2005

Eeyore the Narcissist

From the sucks to be me files:

A planned condo development on my road has me upset beyond all description. Work hard, save your money, buy decent lot and house and have to move within five years due to a slum going in down the block. The problem is, I don’t know where I will be able to relocate to… there are just too many damn people on this planet.

Mankind is a parasite killing its host. My only hope is that the species dies with the planet, or we are liable to infect the whole universe. Of all the top-tier industrial countries, only the US is experiencing population growth. Japan, Italy, GB and Germany are all experiencing declining birth rates. (Although Germany in particular still struggles with immigrants) Our county long held the most rapidly growing in the state title, and at one time ranked high on national standings as well. The growth has now shifted southwest, but of course the development on my street marches onward, oblivious to the memo we are no longer number one. This will increase the population of our town by 10-15%, and I can’t wait to see how many are section 8. A little NIMBY, you say? I’m the queen of NIMBY, thank you. I can go to every zoning and council meeting, protest until I’m blue, but at the end of the day, all I will have is splinters from carrying a picket sign. Evil, I tell you. Evil.

I was supposed to go to a free consultation on Lasik eye surgery tonight, but haven’t the heart. After hearing about the housing development, the pressure behind my eyes is so great I would only be diagnosed with glaucoma. Where to move? I need the population density of Iceland with the climate of Hawaii.

“Argentina – good enough for the Nazis, good enough for me”

Neptune. Beach front property on Neptune would be good.

Australia! No language barrier and all the Bearded Dragons you could ever want for free!!

Hey, am I the only one who caught Bush saying (when plugging his plan for the privatization of social security) the private investment option is so great, congress voted it for themselves, and what’s good enough for them should be offered to all Americans. Um, excuse me, but they also voted themselves life-long full salary retirement benefits and free health care. So what you’re saying is….


What I’m Reading: Unshelved
What I’m Watching: ER
What I’m Hearing: Rolling Stones, Forty Licks
What I’m Recommending: Death to all Developers
Stay away from: the novel Dialogues

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Narcissist is too tough to pronounce. I always sound like a snake.