Day Two

Welcome to the best blog on the web! (Because I said so, that’s why)
This is the posting where I tell everyone the divine purpose of this site, why I toil far into the night tippy-typing my heart out to the faceless masses. Most people promote a hobby, like knitting, or a warm-fuzzy, like “promote peace and understanding”, blah, blah, blah. Whatever. (Let’s face it. For about a month I’ll put up some lengthy postings, then grow bored and fade away. So what else is new?)

This is all about ME. The world needs ME and my Weltanschauung. Without me, the world is an empty, dreary wasteland of rules followed and “official explanations” accepted. I plan to enlighten the planet with my wisdom and a few conspiracy theories thrown in for good measure. Current events fuel much of my observations and I count among my writer influences Stephen King, Bill Bryson, Dave Barry, Douglas and Scott Adams and Kurt Vonnegut.

Let’s face it; the death of JPII is a huge boon to the Italian economy.

Do you wonder if the Cardinals sweated out his final days worried he would say something kooky in a death delirium that would have to stand as church policy, since popes are infallible? Bet they take all kinds of measures to hush that type of thing up…

I heard they opened his will last week.

Among the revelations:

He wants Michael Jackson moved to another parish.

He declared a Fatwa against Dan Brown

Agrees with Mel Gibson’s dad

Has no idea how his private line showed up in Paris Hiltons cell phone directory

Suggested locks be installed in convent, as he’s pretty sure if there are cameras and reporters at his funeral, ex-president Bill Clinton would be sure to show

Said Scientology wasn’t really a religion – shortly before death…hmmmm.

Confidential Message to Rainer: “You may have married Grace Kelly, but my funeral’s bigger, Nyah, Nyah”

And what of Benny? The former Hitler Youth? Forced to join? Secretly didn’t agree.
Yes, this is the man I want telling millions of people what an honor it to be martyred for Jesus. Don’t deny Christ. Let the Romans throw you to the lions, you’ll live on as a saint. But a little goose-step never hurt anyone. You need to live and inherit throne of Rome to do your own little thing for tolerance and equality.

Did you hear they set up an email for the new Pope? What do people email the Pope about? Can you see someone sorting that day’s messages?

Congratulations. Congratulations.
Congratulations. Congratulations.
Death Threat.
Congratulations. Congratulations.
Death Threat.
Why wasn’t my prayer answered?
Congratulations. Congratulations.
Send this angel to ten people for a special blessing….

I think the whole Pope thing exposes a huge philosophical question: should a religion change to meet the needs of its congregation, or hold fast to ancient teachings? Although I see both sides, I tend to feel the tenets of the faith should remain intact – if you are so right, you are always right! Much is made of America’s cafeteria Catholics; those who attend church yet do not follow its teachings. I don’t think you should try to change a religion from within. I feel sorry for those going through the motions of dogma they do not accept from nostalgia (I grew up in this Church – I want to be connected to family, etc.)

You either believe or you don’t. If you don’t, try elsewhere. I don’t agree with Catholicism but would not encourage someone to “cheat” the rules. If a faith folds because it no longer has any followers, it has out lived its usefulness. But the human race isn’t so logical. When the coffers are depleted, pretty soon it will be: women priests? What a great idea! Divorce? We can do that!

I don’t fault Benedict at all for holding specific beliefs. They got him to the top in an organization where that is the official party line. The sad thing is the three Abrahamic faiths are patriarchal and none would function with out the support of women, yet all treat women as inferior. Early Christianity has women to thank for their survival and acceptance, yet never allowed them any role in its rigid hierarchy.

Speaking of character flaws, saw a self-help book the other day that promised to cure the reader of the ten biggest character flaws. This got me to thinking. What am I, except my character flaws? Who would I be without them? No one recognizable, that’s for sure. What good would a boring, virtuous person be, exactly? No. This blog will embrace my flaws. Exacerbate them, if possible. Who am I, if not my shortcomings?

Hey, I went to that Adventures in Narcissism blog – guess what? They are using the same template as I am! WWFT? *

Thought for the Day:

“It is not enough that I succeed, it is that all others must fail.” Gore Vidal

*I’m sure you’ve seen those little What Would Jesus Do? Bracelets. My acronym is What Would (Sigmund) Freud Think?

What I’m Reading: Jesus Land
What I’m Watching: Clerks
What I’m Hearing: Audioslave
What I’m Recommending: Me Talk Pretty One Day and Running With Scissors
Stay away from: Michael Jackson