A local library had the following sign outside this morning: “Food for Fines” (I should send this to the folks at Unshelved)
I couldn’t help but envision the following scenario:
Harried Dad: Uh, I’d like to bring this book back. My wife was cleaning under our daughter’s bed and found it.
Librarian: It was due a month ago.
Dad: Yes, I’ve brought this can of corn and box of spaghetti…
Librarian: It’s a Newbery winner! Other patrons were not able to access it during that time, and I’m sure you agree it is of vital importance to share our resources as fairly as possible.
Dad: Of course, we’re very sorry…
Librarian: Did your daughter even read the book?
Dad: Um, I dunno…
Librarian: Here you go. One can of asparagus and a jar of pickled beets.
Dad: What? You’re giving me food?
Librarian. I’m sure your daughter will think again before tossing a book on the floor to be covered by laundry and cat hair.
Dad: I’m supposed to serve this to her?
Librarian: Don’t make me get the Spam…