Taking Aim

Where Are We Going So Fast, and Why Are We in This Handbasket Dept.*

Now, should I be feeling a sense of irony that the Vice President shot someone? On his own ‘team’? (Here’s a conspiracy theory: he was about to defect. One can only assume Scalia saw reason.)

Or is plain old hysterical laughter acceptable? Enjoy a compilation of jokes on the topic here.

What are we to take away from this incident? Cheney can’t be trusted with a gun? Little trigger happy, that’s for sure. He originally thought the other hunter was going to fire on him, so he shot first. Yeah, that’s it. Can’t wait until it later comes out that Whittington wasn’t armed at all. He wasn’t even with the hunting party.

The only thing that could have improved this story is if he had shot the President. Now that would have been entertaining. What of his delay in announcing the incident? Sounds like there were witnesses to shut up, bodies to bury, etc. All this from the man who said Kerry was a threat to gun owners – ha!

No, really, what was Cheney waiting for? If the guy died, he was commandeering Air Force Two and getting the heck out of Dodge?

And remember, the VP did not shoot Whittington, he sprayed him with buckshot. There’s a big difference there, you know, like the difference between having a car battery in your garage or a nuclear weapon. They’re both dependent on chemical reactions, and either can get your garage invaded in a pre-emptive strike, just depends on who’s spraying the buckshot.

What really rankles is the fact that both Cheney and Whittington lacked a $7 upland game-bird hunting stamp. He’s hunted enough in Texas to be familiar with their requirements.

Did Cheney have a Lawyer Stamp? Bet open season is about 12 months on that one. It’s probably the only non-endangered species he shot at all day.

I am a big supporter of hunting, when done by the rules. Not having the stamp is saying you are above the law. I’m sure I’m the first person to accuse the VP of that….

Cheney’s disregard for the preservation of wildlife habitat doesn’t sit with his being an avid hunter. Most hunters are conservationists who want all to enjoy the outdoors and be responsible stewards of nature. Cheney can’t be bothered with getting the proper permits to hunt quail since the rules don’t apply to him.

Surprised he has time to get out at all, seeing how busy he is trying to overturn the Endangered Species Act to fundamental rule of hunting: know what is behind your target. I’m sure the insurgents of Iraq can attest to that one as well.

I hope Cindy Sheehan shows up to his next speech wearing blaze orange. Will they escort her out for that too?