Sunday, January 03, 2010

Too eHarmony for Me


Are you using any social networking sites? Hangin' out online with your frat buddies? Reconnecting with the little red haired girl? Did she 'friend' you? Are you pathetic enough to care?

I've tried it, and you know what? If I didn't like you in high school, I don't want to see you in cyberspace. People can search you by name or home town and send you a howdy-do hoping your ego is so massive you'll immediately befriend them on a mysterious power-trip to gather the most chits of other losers looking to vicariously post ancient photos and send pseudo-hugs. Barf.

The biggest thrill I got was from clicking "Ignore" when some human flotsam arose out of the ether and banged on my drawbridge. I've only run into one person "live" who noted I chose not to let them in my inner sanctum of scientifically sound "What Dog Breed Are You?" testing results. Boo Hoo. Deal with it sweetie.

This got me to thinking. If I enjoyed the Ignore button so much, why is there no public 'unfriend' button? It's my understanding that on most of these sites, there is no notification that you have been dropped from someone's roster. You find it out by trying to access that person's account and being told you would have to send a new friend request. Nice way to find out your main squeeze has moved on. I'm all for more descriptive status lines, too. Why not: Ticked Off at Partner and Entertaining Other Offers? Bet that would boost quite a few relationships, real and virtual. Single and Desperate? Short, to the point. Married and Dissatisfied. Ditto.

Let's face it, we could all use a CapoteBook site, where it's not who you Friend, it's who you Un-friend. And show it for all the world to see!!! Real time updates! The fickle friend of fate!

Missy has just Un-Friended Greg

Greg has just Un-Friended Missy, but Missy did it first.

Greg just tagged all of Missy's photos with the word 'whore'.

Missy just sent all males in Greg's Friend Account a Revenge-Sex-Shout Out.

Greg has just e-mailed Missy's Mother her Capote-Book Password.

Now there's a site I want to join!

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