Tanks For Nothing

SHARON, Wis. – Residents in some of McHenry County’s northwest towns might have been surprised to see a tank rolling down the road Sunday.

The McHenry County Sheriff’s Department had been called to assist with a 12-hour standoff in Sharon, Wis., said Capt. Dana Nigbor of the Walworth County Sheriff’s Department.

The incident that began as a domestic dispute Saturday when Eugene J. Lehman, 46, had burned his wife’s clothes in the yard and fired several shots, Walworth County Sheriff David Graves said.

Lehman’s wife and children, an adult and a teenager, were able to escape. Police were dispatched about 11:30 a.m. Sunday, and the standoff ended about midnight Monday.

Lehman had shot himself in the abdomen, Graves said. His injuries were not believed to be life-threatening.

Oh, doesn't this article just raise more questions than it answers? A tank? For a domestic dispute? Excuse me? Was this Jack Bauer we were holding at bay? I think not.

Have you seen the town of Sharon, WI? Don't blink. The 'downtown' consists of an ice cream shop and an insurance agency. There are no traffic lights, but do use caution when crossing the railroad tracks, as there are no gates.

A tank? Was the F-16 busy? Is twelve hours some magic number: Time to Call the Tank?

Did the suspect demand to see a tank before surrender? One guy with a gun, and we need heavy artillery? Wouldn't it have been hysterical if he saw the tank, threw down his puny gun, and made the 'one second' gesture with a finger in the air and ran in the house... only to return with an RPG?

I can see summoning a tank for a riot. Civil unrest. A parade. But one nut with a weapon? Isn't that tear-gas territory? This happened in January, or I'd have suspected there were year-end Tank Budget dollars they had to spend or lose.

Oh, wait! This explains it. The Sheriff is up for reelection. "Tough on Tanks" must be his stance. Or "Tank Talk on Crime". Perhaps a special delivery Tankagram?