My Funeral Will be Financed by a Coupon

Eleven. It's one more.

As mentioned in the post below, another five inches of snow and ice has kept me inside today. And yesterday, and the day before...

All I've done is drink beverages with artificial sweeteners and caffeine. I'm pretty sure my liver signed up on a donor list to get away from me when I wasn't looking. About the only thing positive I have to report is my recent encounter with some Walgreen's coupons.

First off, what's with the prefix Wal? Wall Drugs? Walgreen's. Wal-Mart? Must be an ancient druid syllable for evil.

Anyhoo... I'm no fan of Walgreen's, but when you send me a COUPON, well, that's just not a level playing field. I get this flyer in the mail offering me $3 off any purchase of $10 or more. Ambrosia! Coupons are catnip for my soul. How can I say no to almost 30% off if I play my cards right? Play them I did!

I have been wanting to buy some more Diet Coke, but the ungodly high prices at the grocery store have been deterring me. Some big caramel coloring shortage I'm not aware of? A case is now over seven dollars. I remember when it was under five...

Wow, Grandma, tell us more...

Well, this was before it was revealed that kola nut, caffeine, 7X, and lime combine to create a more brain-altering and addictive substance than methamphetamine; and just like the tobacco industry, the soda makers knew about it years earlier and covered up the deadly effects...

I tried a few off brands and found them to be just that - off. I'm not a Pepsi fan at all, so the more costly Coke is what I covet. What is it about products with phony 'secret recipes'?? I can't get enough of them. Coke. Kentucky Fried Chicken. Mmmmm!!! Eleven herbs and Carcinogens! Yum!*

So, due to the coupon, I decided to shop for soda. Score! They had three twelve-packs for eleven dollars, so that would give me the cost needed to invoke the coupon. I picked up both Diet and Diet With Lime and headed for the check out waving my coupon. After ringing me up, the little computer by the register began to print out those 'bonus coupons' based on your purchases. I didn't even know Walgreens did this! Lo and behold, a $2 coupon for anything two dollars or more!! Whee!!

After loading the soda in my trunk, I marched right back in for my 'second and separate visit'. I grabbed the People magazine with Rihanna on the cover. That brought the price in half! Then, when going through the magazine, I found a coupon for a FREE box of Milk Bones!!!

Score for the win!!!

*Motto: Trans-fat free since NEVER!