Monday, December 28, 2009
Everything I Needed to Know About Marriage...
I learned on summer break from Junior High....
Well, specifically, from all the game shows I used to watch on TV. It was the era of the game show, and my BFF and I could watch them all day. There were tons to choose from and if it got too rainy or hot to be outside, there were all these wonderful friends we could spend time with... Match Game, Password, Twenty Thousand Dollar Pyramid, Jeopardy... the list goes on.
Little did I realize how these skills could help me later in life when dealing with Al:
The Dating Game
Every question you ask will get a smart-alec reply designed to make you wonder what was so hard about the question in the first place that it can't be replied to in a straightforward manner .
The Newlywed Game
Just answer every problem with 'make whoopie'. It's the only thing written on any of his cards.
Say what you mean, already. Your clue has not been accepted by my authority.
Beat the Clock
Face it. Your deadlines and his never occur in the same epoch. Get over it.
Every answer is "Things that Tick Me Off". Stop them.
Wheel of Fortune
This may be the only way to get Al to do anything - make it into a puzzle: Cl--n Th G-r-g- Oh, buy a vowel already.
Phrasing what I just said in the form of a question is a waste of time. No, I did NOT say you were not going to take out the garbage. I just want it done now, without the commentary.
Whatever you just suggested, I'm going for the block.
Let's Make a Deal
The only way anything ever gets done.
The Price is Right
The only way Al will ever see name-brand food in the house.
If if involves family, there's gonna be a feud.
Gong Show If only you could gong your spouse...