Me: Thank you for coming right away! Here's my washing machine. It won't spin.
Repairman: Oh. It's a Maytag. How old is it?
Me: Only nine years.
Repairman: That's a lot longer than most people get.
Me: What?
Repairman: It would cost over $700 to fix. Cheaper to buy a new one.
Me: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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