Only a Celebrity...

Would be pissed that another celebrity had the audacity to die on the same day...

Best 'O the Bankrupt

From the Corvette Museum of America:

JD Power Results are in and Corvette was ranked the Best GM Model! The Chevy Corvette score came in at 71 PPH (problems per hundred), placing it at the top of the pack for all GM models.

This score is an improvement of 21 points over last year’s score of 92 PPH. In addition, Corvette came in at the top of its segment – beating Porsche by 1 PPH. We appreciate the hard work of the Corvette Team and look forward to seeing more great American Sports Cars!

Should I be excited about being the best of a failing lineup? Top of a segment -high end sports cars - known for the worst repair records? Beating the at-least-double priced Porsche by a hair?

At least it was a big improvement for the model in general over last year. I wonder if this ranking is for 2008 models, or what. I need to find out which ones to stay away from.

Am I the only one?

...Who thinks Jobs is secretly turning himself into a Cyborg??

Mr. Jobs’s transplant, but not the location of the hospital or the details of his treatment, has been confirmed by people briefed on the matter by current and former Apple board members. Mr. Jobs has declined to comment.

Or possibly: New this Christmas for the alcoholic on your list, the iLiver!

One Track Blog

Just had to add a little something to the Rockford crash detailed below. Did you note the story where it says Chicago Northwestern train officials knew about the water on the tracks 21 minutes before the crash? (Here)

Now, granted, it takes a long time and distance to 'stop a speeding freight train' but, .... how long does it take to text the engineer??? Since we've already established their fondness for the medium, I think it's a fair question.

"OMG! H2O on track. EOL-LOL!"

Like how long does that take???

Amtrak the Way to Really Fly (Off the Tracks)

Hmmm... seems to be a spate of train derailments as of late, wouldn't you agree?

Friday, this fiery crash not too far from my humble abode...

After severe storms, a train hydroplanes, er, hydro-trains off the tracks and the ethanol cargo explodes, killing one and seriously injuring nine*. (I want to be dead rather than experience chemical burns. This is hideous.)

Officials evacuate the area. Not nearly a large enough area, but no one ever admits this. Or that going back to walk on your grass, have your dog lick up puddles or the residue on your roof will kill you from neurological problems a few years from now. But hey, we appreciated all the help on 9/11 and of course humans can still live there. No worries! A big cloud floated over to my house and rained on the vegetable garden today. Carcinogenic carrot, anyone?

But why were people evacuated by staff? Didn't the city just purchase a slick new warning system with three tones: Cover Ears, Panic, and Ignore???

Winnebago County Sheriff Dick Meyers said the new outdoor-warning siren system, which features a chemical spill alert, was not activated for two reasons: The system, first tested June 2, was too new for people to know the difference between the tornado warning and the chemical spill warning, and the area evacuated was too concentrated.

Meyers said officials briefly debated turning on one or two sirens in the area using the chemical spill warning but dismissed the idea after realizing that residents would hear the siren from 3 miles away and maybe more if a second siren had to be sounded. Because officials only wanted to evacuate homes within a half-mile of the explosion, they decided to use the county’s reverse 911 calling system instead and send fire personnel door to door.

Excuse me? Only half a mile? Everyone else, just breathe shallow.

The county installed 73 outdoor emergency-warning sirens this spring for $2.67 million in an effort to warn people who are outside (away from television, radio or computer news or weather alerts) of an imminent emergency, such as a tornado, chemical spill or terrorist attack.

The county is in the process of testing the system and educating county residents on what to do when they hear the different alarms.

Cover Ears, Panic, or Ignore. Got it. I know! Make the alarm sound like the threat. Tornado - Wind Tunnel Sound. Chemical Spill - Old Man Hacking Up Lung. Terrorist Attack - Sound of ripping paper as the Constitution and Geneva Convention are Shredded.

*that's just the human toll. Click here for the suspected fish fatalities. That we're hearing about.

Bottom Line: the "Investigation" will take up to a year. You mean the cover up? Really, they moved faster than that in the New Mexico desert.

Just for laughs, click here and read the blurb. The comments are priceless! It's nice to know there are people like me out there.

Next up is the DC Transit crash tonight.

Officials had no explanation for the accident. The National Transportation Safety Board took charge of the investigation and sent a team to the site. DC police and the FBI also had investigators at the scene to help search the wreckage for any overlooked injured or dead passengers and evidence.

The only reason they don't have an explanation is because the Bush Administration is no longer in power. We'd know who to think was to blame and where we needed to send troops by now.

Monday's crash was the third major subway or commuter rail crash in a big city in the past nine months. In the earlier accidents:

• In September 2008, a commuter rail train and a freight train crashed in Los Angeles, killing 25 people. The crash was blamed on an engineer on the commuter rail sending text messages on a cell phone.

• Last month about 50 people were injured in Boston when one trolley rear-ended another. The conductor admitted to sending a text message when the crash occurred.

Sounds to me as if the Metro engineer was Twittering his support to Iranians. Or their dissatisfaction with the last American Idol outcome. One of those.

Hello, Hollywood?

I'd like to sign Mel Gibson for Night at the Holocaust Museum...

Read This Post Or I'll Kill a Kitten

Ah, yes. As I languish here in obscurity (No thanks to YOU - how many people have you referred to this site?) there are some bloggers who are getting rich and (in)famous.

Read all about it here: Blogger's baby was a hoax
Woman captivates thousands in anti-abortion movement with false story of difficult pregnancy

The unmarried mother's story about giving birth to a child diagnosed as terminally ill in the womb hit a major nerve on the Internet.

Every night for the last two months, thousands of abortion opponents across the nation logged on to a blog run by the suburban Chicago woman who identified herself only as "B" or "April's Mom."

People said they prayed that God would save her pregnancy. They e-mailed her photos of their children dressed in pink, bought campaign T-shirts, shared tales of personal heartache and redemption, and sent letters and gifts to an Oak Lawn P.O. box in support.

As more and more people were drawn to her compelling tale, eager advertisers were lining up. And established parenting Web sites that oppose abortion were promoting her blog -- which included biblical quotes, anti-abortion messages and a soundtrack of inspirational Christian pop songs.

By Sunday night, when "April's Mom" claimed to have given birth to her "miracle baby" -- blogging that April Rose had survived a home birth only to die hours later -- her Web site had nearly a million hits.

There was only one problem with the unfolding tragedy: None of it was true.


Hey, give the people what they want. A cause. Heart tugs. But most of all, a chance to click here and lower your mortgage rate!!

Wish I'd Said That!

"Earlier today, President Obama spoke at a town hall meeting in Green Bay, Wisconsin. Yeah. Yeah, half of the Wisconsin crowd had never seen an African-American, and the other half had never seen a skinny person." --Conan O'Brien

"President Obama is proposing a new national healthcare plan that's both inexpensive and accessible. He's calling it Have Your Surgery In Mexico." --Jimmy Fallon

President Obama says he wants to create a national healthcare plan that's both affordable and easy to use. In response, the insurance industry says they'll fight the plan with congressmen who are both affordable and easy to use." --Conan O'Brien

Where Do I Put the Ugly Couch?

Of Course Al Reads this Blog...

Car-B-Que

Sob! I can't call this Auto Abuse, since the owner didn't do anything

to cause this horrific fire that took the carbon fiber body and V12 life out of

this $2 million dollar McLaren F1 super car.

Please join me in a moment of silence.

Now pass the marshmallows, please.

Place Your Bets!

Yes, I love Calvin Borel and he certainly deserves his own private little Triple Crown, but I have no sentiment towards Mine That Bird. Besides, he's the favorite. So for a little excitement I've placed the following bets:

$4 to win on #3 - Mr. Hot Stuff - I love Edgar Prado

$2 to win on #2 Dunkirk - Pletcher and Velazquez

$2 Exacta Box on #6 Charitable Man & #10 Brave Victory - What the hay! If these two come in, I might be rich.

Victoria's Secret Feline Mutant Ninja Kitties

OK, I think this is a hoax, but for the sake of argument, let's assume that it is not.

Am I the only one seeing the end of Western civilization here?


While some think the bony limbs may be a mutation of some kind — or even a Siamese twin growing inside the cat — others speculate it's a genetic change perhaps caused by chemicals ingested by the kitty's mother while she was pregnant.

Strange as the case may sound, winged felines are not unheard of. Back in August 2008, the U.K. Telegraph reported that tomcats in China's Sichuan province developed wing-like growths on their backs.

Veterinary experts said then that despite the hard inner core, the "wings" don't harm cats' quality of life or safety. According to the Telegraph's report, scientists believe the appendages developed due to grooming habits, a genetic defect or a hereditary skin condition.

Hellooo... howclose is North Korea and it's nuclear testing??? Or, as one astute observer pointed out - perhaps the cats have just evolved to look less tasty.