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Monday, April 09, 2007
What Be Your Nerd Type?
Sunday, April 08, 2007
The Book of GE O-Brok-Us
And it came to pass, in the seventh year of home ownership…
First Plague: Water turned to Sludge – Neptune Washer Breaks
The Warranty told Al and Lisa, “If the Corporation demands that you stay on hold for hours, produce original UPC codes, registration information, obscure receipts and paperwork, do so.” The Corporation, however, was obstinate, and would not listen to them, just as the Internet had foretold.
Decent Business Practices said: Go and present yourself by the overflowing washer, holding in your hand the wax motor that turned into a serpent. Say to the Corporation: “Let my consumers go to your vaults and gain replacement units. But as yet you have not listened.” The Corporation remained obstinate and would not listen to Al and Lisa. All the consumers had to wash clothing by hand, since they could not use the machines.
Seven days passed after disaster had struck the washer. Al had to fix it himself, at his own expense.
Second Plague: Fire From Within – Maytag Dishwasher Recall
The Corporation summoned Al and Lisa and said, “Ok, you got me on the spontaneous combustion thing with the dishwasher. We’re doing a recall on that one. Do me the favor of appointing the time when you are to sit about and wait for my mighty repairman. He won’t arrive at that time, but it’ll give the boys in the boardroom a chuckle to think you took time off of work.”
Third Plague: The Dust Mites – Hoover Windtunnel Fails to Suck
Thereupon Lisa said unto Al, “Take the Hoover out of the closet and strike the dust of the carpet that it may be removed throughout the house.” Al stretched out his hand and with the Hoover struck the dust of the earth, but the carpet remained unmoved. Though the magicians tried to bring forth brushes by their magic arts, they could not. “This is the finger of God.”
Fourth Plague: Darkness of the Microwave – GE Spacesaver dies
Then Al said to Lisa, “Stretch out your hand toward the control panel, over the range there be such darkness that one can feel it.” So Lisa stretched out her hand, and there was dense darkness throughout the kitchen for seven days. Food could not be warmed, nor could they heat water for three days. But all the GE executives had light and cooked food where they dwelt. Rather than pay service for a new magnetron, Al and Lisa sacrificed their wages once again. Taking their livestock to the Big Box Store, another microwave was purchased. “The day you appear before me unfeeling CEOs, you shall die!” cried Lisa “Well said,” said Al.
Fifth Plague: The Death of the Dryer – Neptune Dryer Takes a Tumble
Then the Homeowners told the Corporation, “One more plague will you bring upon our Laundry and upon our pocketbook? After that, the Homeowner will let you depart. In fact, they will not merely let you go; they will drive you away. Never again will we buy a Maytag item, for Maytag Sucks. We will instruct our people that every man is to tell his neighbor that MAYTAG SUCKS. Sell any stock or holdings in Maytag Corporation, for they are truly evil and have a hard heart. They do not listen to the consumers, nor care about quality. Then there shall be loud wailing throughout the Maytag Corporation as such there has never been, nor will ever be again. All these servants of appliance companies shall then come down to my lowly blog. And prostrate before me, they shall beg me, ‘buy our crappy products again.’ And I shall not!
What can I say? I just wanted my 15 minutes of famine. Wish this blight would just Passover.
First Plague: Water turned to Sludge – Neptune Washer Breaks
The Warranty told Al and Lisa, “If the Corporation demands that you stay on hold for hours, produce original UPC codes, registration information, obscure receipts and paperwork, do so.” The Corporation, however, was obstinate, and would not listen to them, just as the Internet had foretold.
Decent Business Practices said: Go and present yourself by the overflowing washer, holding in your hand the wax motor that turned into a serpent. Say to the Corporation: “Let my consumers go to your vaults and gain replacement units. But as yet you have not listened.” The Corporation remained obstinate and would not listen to Al and Lisa. All the consumers had to wash clothing by hand, since they could not use the machines.
Seven days passed after disaster had struck the washer. Al had to fix it himself, at his own expense.
Second Plague: Fire From Within – Maytag Dishwasher Recall
The Corporation summoned Al and Lisa and said, “Ok, you got me on the spontaneous combustion thing with the dishwasher. We’re doing a recall on that one. Do me the favor of appointing the time when you are to sit about and wait for my mighty repairman. He won’t arrive at that time, but it’ll give the boys in the boardroom a chuckle to think you took time off of work.”
Third Plague: The Dust Mites – Hoover Windtunnel Fails to Suck
Thereupon Lisa said unto Al, “Take the Hoover out of the closet and strike the dust of the carpet that it may be removed throughout the house.” Al stretched out his hand and with the Hoover struck the dust of the earth, but the carpet remained unmoved. Though the magicians tried to bring forth brushes by their magic arts, they could not. “This is the finger of God.”
Fourth Plague: Darkness of the Microwave – GE Spacesaver dies
Then Al said to Lisa, “Stretch out your hand toward the control panel, over the range there be such darkness that one can feel it.” So Lisa stretched out her hand, and there was dense darkness throughout the kitchen for seven days. Food could not be warmed, nor could they heat water for three days. But all the GE executives had light and cooked food where they dwelt. Rather than pay service for a new magnetron, Al and Lisa sacrificed their wages once again. Taking their livestock to the Big Box Store, another microwave was purchased. “The day you appear before me unfeeling CEOs, you shall die!” cried Lisa “Well said,” said Al.
Fifth Plague: The Death of the Dryer – Neptune Dryer Takes a Tumble
Then the Homeowners told the Corporation, “One more plague will you bring upon our Laundry and upon our pocketbook? After that, the Homeowner will let you depart. In fact, they will not merely let you go; they will drive you away. Never again will we buy a Maytag item, for Maytag Sucks. We will instruct our people that every man is to tell his neighbor that MAYTAG SUCKS. Sell any stock or holdings in Maytag Corporation, for they are truly evil and have a hard heart. They do not listen to the consumers, nor care about quality. Then there shall be loud wailing throughout the Maytag Corporation as such there has never been, nor will ever be again. All these servants of appliance companies shall then come down to my lowly blog. And prostrate before me, they shall beg me, ‘buy our crappy products again.’ And I shall not!
What can I say? I just wanted my 15 minutes of famine. Wish this blight would just Passover.
Moses Parting the Red Tape
Yea, though I type through the Cyber darkness,
I will fear no evil, for thy Google search engine and “Maytag Sucks”
shall comfort me all the days of my Second Life.
Maytag Really, Really, Really Sucks
Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks
Do you lie awake nights worried your household appliances are plotting to kill you? Or at least trying to drive you into the poor house? In a span of less than six months, every major appliance in the house has broken. None of these items is older than seven years. This is not normal. Why me? How have I angered the gods of electromagnetic fields? Must I split an atom to appease them?
Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks
Once again, I have had a weekend ruined by evil appliances. To recap, my top-of-the-line Maytag Neptune washing machine broke after less than seven years of service. The company refuses to recall the product, or even admit there’s a problem despite a mountain of evidence and mold to the contrary.
Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks
Then, my Maytag dishwasher was recalled, due to the product causing fires. Hassle city, but repaired.
Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks
My Hoover Windtunnel vacuum has been sucking, but only intermittently, so it’s a lemon too. Saving pennies for a Dyson, but that could take years.
Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks
Next, my GE Spacesaver Microwave died. Oh, a quick check on the net confirms only about a billion consumer complaints about the magnetron in this unit, but again – no recall.
Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks
Don’t know about you, but a life with out a microwave is a life not worth living, in my book. I don’t even own a teapot. I just heat a little Pyrex of water at a time for tea, love my popcorn, and reheat platefuls of food all the time. I need that appliance!
Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks
We went to Best Buy (since Circuit City Sucks, but that’s a whole other post) and bought the absolute cheapest over the range model they had; some Goldstar generic that probably leaks radiation, but at this point a brain tumor diagnosis might be the high point of my month.
Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks
Al spent Saturday installing it, since every single hole and mounting bracket had to be different, of course. So, while he’s cleaning up Saturday night, I’m checking that load of permanent press laundry that should have been dry by now. Yep. You guessed it. The Maytag dryer no longer dries.
Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks
All I have to say is, if I turn up dead, I want you to tell the authorities:
THE TOASTER DID IT!!!
Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks
Do you lie awake nights worried your household appliances are plotting to kill you? Or at least trying to drive you into the poor house? In a span of less than six months, every major appliance in the house has broken. None of these items is older than seven years. This is not normal. Why me? How have I angered the gods of electromagnetic fields? Must I split an atom to appease them?
Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks
Once again, I have had a weekend ruined by evil appliances. To recap, my top-of-the-line Maytag Neptune washing machine broke after less than seven years of service. The company refuses to recall the product, or even admit there’s a problem despite a mountain of evidence and mold to the contrary.
Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks
Then, my Maytag dishwasher was recalled, due to the product causing fires. Hassle city, but repaired.
Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks
My Hoover Windtunnel vacuum has been sucking, but only intermittently, so it’s a lemon too. Saving pennies for a Dyson, but that could take years.
Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks
Next, my GE Spacesaver Microwave died. Oh, a quick check on the net confirms only about a billion consumer complaints about the magnetron in this unit, but again – no recall.
Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks
Don’t know about you, but a life with out a microwave is a life not worth living, in my book. I don’t even own a teapot. I just heat a little Pyrex of water at a time for tea, love my popcorn, and reheat platefuls of food all the time. I need that appliance!
Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks
We went to Best Buy (since Circuit City Sucks, but that’s a whole other post) and bought the absolute cheapest over the range model they had; some Goldstar generic that probably leaks radiation, but at this point a brain tumor diagnosis might be the high point of my month.
Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks
Al spent Saturday installing it, since every single hole and mounting bracket had to be different, of course. So, while he’s cleaning up Saturday night, I’m checking that load of permanent press laundry that should have been dry by now. Yep. You guessed it. The Maytag dryer no longer dries.
Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks
All I have to say is, if I turn up dead, I want you to tell the authorities:
THE TOASTER DID IT!!!
Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks Maytag Sucks
Friday, April 06, 2007
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Snakes In a Search Engine!
Why can't I work here??? Is this like the coolest Bring Your Pet To Work Day ever, or what? (this is not a photo of Kaiser)
'Google search' for missing snake in NYC
By NAHAL TOOSI
This was one search that you couldn't just Google.
An employee's python went missing over the weekend in Google Inc.'s sprawling Manhattan office, sending search teams on an all-out snake hunt. The searchers scoured the complex for the 3-foot-long snake and finally found the serpent, known as Kaiser, on Monday night.
"A snake was lost; it was not an April Fool's joke. It was found last night," Google spokeswoman Ellen West said Tuesday. "The snake has left the building."
She declined to reveal specifics about where in the office Kaiser was discovered. But a contributor to Google's official blog wrote that the staff was told the snake was found "relaxing behind a cabinet." (read blog here)
And although West wouldn't say how the snake made it to the office, she confirmed it belonged to a "Googler" and said the pet was now at its owner's home.
The Google blog contributor, software engineer Dan Bentley, wrote that while some employees laughed about the situation, others stood away from walls and corners and the bathrooms were less crowded.
The fact that someone brought a snake into the building is not completely surprising, given Google's laid-back culture.
Dubbed the "Googleplex," the Manhattan office of the Mountain View, Calif.-based company offers a relaxed workspace, built around a team concept that has people sharing offices and cubicles connected in groups. It also offers free food, massage therapy, yoga classes, and ski trips, according to Google's jobs Web site.
Company officials did not comment on a report that the search for the snake even included a missing snake flier. The Web site Valleywag, a technology gossip Web site based in Silicon Valley, posted a photo of the flier, complete with a photo of the reptile.
The flier described the snake as "non-venomous" and "not dangerous," and responsive to the name "Kaiser," according to the Web site.
Awwwww! A happy ending! Well, except for that guy who brought his pet rat...
'Google search' for missing snake in NYC
By NAHAL TOOSI
This was one search that you couldn't just Google.
An employee's python went missing over the weekend in Google Inc.'s sprawling Manhattan office, sending search teams on an all-out snake hunt. The searchers scoured the complex for the 3-foot-long snake and finally found the serpent, known as Kaiser, on Monday night.
"A snake was lost; it was not an April Fool's joke. It was found last night," Google spokeswoman Ellen West said Tuesday. "The snake has left the building."
She declined to reveal specifics about where in the office Kaiser was discovered. But a contributor to Google's official blog wrote that the staff was told the snake was found "relaxing behind a cabinet." (read blog here)
And although West wouldn't say how the snake made it to the office, she confirmed it belonged to a "Googler" and said the pet was now at its owner's home.
The Google blog contributor, software engineer Dan Bentley, wrote that while some employees laughed about the situation, others stood away from walls and corners and the bathrooms were less crowded.
The fact that someone brought a snake into the building is not completely surprising, given Google's laid-back culture.
Dubbed the "Googleplex," the Manhattan office of the Mountain View, Calif.-based company offers a relaxed workspace, built around a team concept that has people sharing offices and cubicles connected in groups. It also offers free food, massage therapy, yoga classes, and ski trips, according to Google's jobs Web site.
Company officials did not comment on a report that the search for the snake even included a missing snake flier. The Web site Valleywag, a technology gossip Web site based in Silicon Valley, posted a photo of the flier, complete with a photo of the reptile.
The flier described the snake as "non-venomous" and "not dangerous," and responsive to the name "Kaiser," according to the Web site.
Awwwww! A happy ending! Well, except for that guy who brought his pet rat...
Snakes in a Bog on a Dog!
The Higher Power of Very Lucky to be AliveThis poor pup was bitten by the rare Eastern massasauga rattlesnake
(not terribly toxic) but is expected to make a full recovery.
"Whoop is feeling better after spending Friday night hooked up to a IV with antibiotics. Now, he’s taking two antibiotics, a painkiller, and a cream designed to promote skin growth around the bite area....
He never needed anti-venom medication, but Frye said he might need surgery if venom killed too much of the skin around the bite."
On the plus side, he wasn't bitten on the scrotum...
I'm happy the dog is doing well, but is anyone looking after the poor snake? I hope he or she is also healthy and hanging on to the little habitat it has left. We should declare a moratorium on all building and development in the area. Think "North America".
"The species has struggled to survive as these fields have been drained or filled in for farmland or development. Mature females tend to give birth to five or six live young every three to four years. Half the babies usually don’t live through the winter.“The massasauga is more critically endangered than the bald eagle ever was,” Ballard said.
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Wish I'd Said That
"Dick Cheney again this week was in the hospital. He was experiencing discomfort in his leg. And the doctor asked Cheney if he stretches. Cheney said, 'Are you kidding? I linked 9/11 with Saddam Hussein.'" --Bill Maher
Thursday, March 29, 2007
If I Bid On It - At Least My Blog Would Get Some Hits
SACRAMENTO, March 29 (UPI) -- O.J. Simpson's book, "If I Did It," which theorizes how he might have killed his ex-wife and her companion, will be auctioned next month in California.
Sale proceeds will go to members of the Goldman family, who won a legal victory earlier in March when Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Gerald Rosenberg ruled that they are entitled to income Simpson may earn from the book. The family has been trying to collect on a 10-year-old $33.5 million wrongful death civil judgment it won against him.
The lawyer added that if no publishing house buys the rights, then the family will have no choice but to do so.
"We're the buyer of last resort and we have to be because otherwise it would make a total travesty of the process if he regained the property in the end," said David Cook.
Sale proceeds will go to members of the Goldman family, who won a legal victory earlier in March when Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Gerald Rosenberg ruled that they are entitled to income Simpson may earn from the book. The family has been trying to collect on a 10-year-old $33.5 million wrongful death civil judgment it won against him.
The lawyer added that if no publishing house buys the rights, then the family will have no choice but to do so.
"We're the buyer of last resort and we have to be because otherwise it would make a total travesty of the process if he regained the property in the end," said David Cook.
Bee Concerned, Bee Very Concerned
MISSOULA, Mont. -- The disappearance and deaths of millions of honeybees in nearly half of the nation's states is a mystery seemingly befitting an episode of "CSI" and is threatening an estimated $14 billion in crops that rely on pollination.
"It's called Colony Collapse Disorder," said Jerry Bromenshenk, a University of Montana professor and head of Bee Alert who has studied honeybees for more than three decades.
Sounds like we need to invent some Bee-agra.
Bromenshenk is part of a national task force attempting to figure out why bees leave their hives and don't return. He recently returned from California with thousands of dead bees that he suspects were in colonies in the midst of collapsing.
Perhaps they're crossing the border to live in Mexico illegally?
"We are … trying to figure out the unknown," Wick said in an interview. "This is a devastating situation. If every honeybee disappeared tomorrow, we would still have produce in our markets—it just wouldn't come from the United States."
Great. Little yellow bees from China taking our bees' jobs...
Bromenshenk's addition to the team studying the bees' disappearance was prompted by the significant research he has conducted at the university as well as the company that spun off from that work.The firm has learned how to train bees to perform a variety of tasks, including sniffing out poisons, a skill that can be applied to such things as land mine detection or use of chemicals in a terrorist attack. Bromenshenk said the company has discovered how to train a bee in less than a day to identify things by smell or by sight.
Or maybe the bees don't want to bee little slaves for no pay...
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Auto Abuse is no Laughing Matter!
I was about to go to bed when I saw this on the news! Now I'll have nightmares all week!!!!!
Dear Daniel Sadek, I feel your pain!!!
Thinking of you during this difficult time,
Get A Life Gal
I don’t even know who Eddie Griffin is, but this incident is not funny in the least. Never, ever, let anyone drive your collector car! This looks like a publicity stunt, doesn’t it? I mean, a real Enzo didn’t die, did it? Sob!! Noooooo.... This is just too upsetting for me to contemplate. Seems more like an episode of 30 Rock where the spoiled star gets to do what ever he wants.
CBS/AP) Eddie Griffin crashed a rare Ferrari Enzo worth $1.5 million into a concrete barrier Monday, destroying the car but escaping without injuries.
Idiot!!! Monster!! How fast was he going? There were cones up, I saw the video, this wasn't open track - what on earth happened?
The comedian was practicing for a charity race to promote his upcoming film, "Redline," when he drove too fast around a curve at the Irwindale Speedway and smashed into a divide. Video footage showed the red sports car screeching before it ricocheted off the barrier with heavy damage to its front.
Enzo 2002-2007
Rust in Peace
I hearby declare an official Ferrari Fatwa on Infidel Griffin!
Dear Daniel Sadek, I feel your pain!!!
Thinking of you during this difficult time,
Get A Life Gal
I don’t even know who Eddie Griffin is, but this incident is not funny in the least. Never, ever, let anyone drive your collector car! This looks like a publicity stunt, doesn’t it? I mean, a real Enzo didn’t die, did it? Sob!! Noooooo.... This is just too upsetting for me to contemplate. Seems more like an episode of 30 Rock where the spoiled star gets to do what ever he wants.
CBS/AP) Eddie Griffin crashed a rare Ferrari Enzo worth $1.5 million into a concrete barrier Monday, destroying the car but escaping without injuries.
Idiot!!! Monster!! How fast was he going? There were cones up, I saw the video, this wasn't open track - what on earth happened?
The comedian was practicing for a charity race to promote his upcoming film, "Redline," when he drove too fast around a curve at the Irwindale Speedway and smashed into a divide. Video footage showed the red sports car screeching before it ricocheted off the barrier with heavy damage to its front.
Charity? You'll need it, if I can do anything about it.
"Undercover Brother's good at karate and all the rest of that, but the brother can't drive," Griffin, referring to one his past films, told reporters after the accident.
Asshole! Making a joke about the loss of a rare car you knew you didn’t have the capability to control!!
"I was coming around the track and came into a tight turn and I hit a cone and the cone got caught underneath the tire. So the tire locked up and … slammed into the wall," Griffin told CBS News.
Gee, maybe he should have practiced first with a Ford Focus, huh? I'm not saying I'm a world class driver, but I will say that I would not be putting a car at risk by overestimating my abilities. Why wasn't an instructor in the car? Not like that would have prevented an accident, but a coach might have seen trouble coming sooner or put him in an appropriate vehicle until ready.
The film's publicist, Wendy Zocks, said Griffin was "doing OK."
Won't be when I’m finished with him!
"He walked away completely unscratched, but probably a little shaken," Zocks said.
Oh, sure, it’s not his car. He has no understanding or respect for the gravity of the situation. Just another broken toy. Oh, well, I’ll buy another. Let my accountant pay for it.
"You know I'm not a race car driver, I'm a comedian," Griffin said. "Uh, just glad that I'm OK."
You should be boiled in motor oil. If you knew you couldn’t drive it, why did you make the attempt? Oh, wait, you’re perfect. You can do anything, you da man.
The Enzo was owned by the film's executive producer, Daniel Sadek, whose exotic car collection was featured in the movie.
May we have a moment of silence here for the man and his car.
Sadek said the car was beyond repair and that he had "mixed feelings" about the wreck.
If you call murderous rage and suicidal grief “mixed”, yeah.
"I'm glad Eddie came out of the crash OK, but my dream car got destroyed," Sadek said. "I went to my trailer for about 15 minutes and I thought, there's people dying every day. A lot of worse things are happening in the world."
Like what?? He’s obviously in shock, this will all sink in later. Poor, poor man.
Only 400 Ferrari Enzos were ever produced, all between 2002 and 2004.
And the world is one poorer tonight due to this arrogant bastard.
Griffin's credits include the comedies "Undercover Brother," "Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo" and its sequel, "Date Movie," and "Norbit."
Those are credits? What do you consider disgraces?
Enzo 2002-2007
Rust in Peace
I hearby declare an official Ferrari Fatwa on Infidel Griffin!
Monday, March 26, 2007
Score!!
Not only did I have TWO coupons for free salad dressings, but I stumbled upon this little guy at my local Osco Drug! I now have Secretariat, Barbaro, War Admiral, Seabiscuit and a generic Kentucky Derby 133. I'm going to do some research on what other horses they may have produced.
The Holy Grail? Ruffian!
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Too Nice To Blog!
Whoo Hoo!! New Record Set! Warmest March 25 on record!! Whee!! Sorry for no posts, had to enjoy the past two days. One turtle has awoken from her torpor, and was offered breakfast. I may move them indoors soon as a transitional step before being outside 24/7. Next weekend looks to be pretty cold and crummy, so perhaps I’ll catch up with you all then.
In brief, I would like to point out real quick that it comes as no surprise that the tainted pet food should be linked to China, as we all know how fond they are of dogs. (See Angry Chinese Blogger for more commentary)
I’ve been doing lots of reading and really should update my list. I haven’t bought any shoes, so we must be at a ten-to-one book to shoe ratio at least.
Embroideries – Marjane Satrapi
Good, I love her art, and she addresses issues discussed by women, so I liked it. No Persepolis, but a solid C+.
Terrible Storm – Carol Otis Hurst
I loved this children’s book! The illustrations are fantastic, and integral to understanding the story. Hurst had two grandfathers weather the mid-March blizzard of 1888 in Westfield, Massachusetts. (Which means I should turn my Nickelback blizzard story into a picture book...)One gentleman was gregarious and out going, the other preferred quiet solitude (like me). Of course, the people-lover gets stranded in a stable alone with the animals for a few days, while the introvert is sheltered by a boisterous family that enjoys singing and storytelling. That poor, poor man… A-
Aya – Marguerite Aboust
Graphic novel about young women living in the Ivory Coast, 1978. Entertaining slice of life, C+.
In the Name of God – Paula Jolin
Good YA read, nicely done, but as far as the actual resolution of the story, I was a bit disappointed. Yes, I wanted Nadia to blow something up. So sue me. C+
Which brings us to...
There’s a (Slight) Chance I Might be Going to Hell – Laurie Notaro
She’s a good writer, but perhaps I expected more laugh-out-loud belly laughs or something. There were a few, but ultimately this one left me rather empty as well. B-
Teach With Your Heart – Erin Gruwell
This is the story of the teacher upon whom the movie Freedom Writers is based
Can anyone really be that naive? Yet if a tenth of the book is true, it is a fantastic story. Heartwarming. B-
In brief, I would like to point out real quick that it comes as no surprise that the tainted pet food should be linked to China, as we all know how fond they are of dogs. (See Angry Chinese Blogger for more commentary)
I’ve been doing lots of reading and really should update my list. I haven’t bought any shoes, so we must be at a ten-to-one book to shoe ratio at least.
Embroideries – Marjane Satrapi
Good, I love her art, and she addresses issues discussed by women, so I liked it. No Persepolis, but a solid C+.
Terrible Storm – Carol Otis Hurst
I loved this children’s book! The illustrations are fantastic, and integral to understanding the story. Hurst had two grandfathers weather the mid-March blizzard of 1888 in Westfield, Massachusetts. (Which means I should turn my Nickelback blizzard story into a picture book...)One gentleman was gregarious and out going, the other preferred quiet solitude (like me). Of course, the people-lover gets stranded in a stable alone with the animals for a few days, while the introvert is sheltered by a boisterous family that enjoys singing and storytelling. That poor, poor man… A-
Aya – Marguerite Aboust
Graphic novel about young women living in the Ivory Coast, 1978. Entertaining slice of life, C+.
In the Name of God – Paula Jolin
Good YA read, nicely done, but as far as the actual resolution of the story, I was a bit disappointed. Yes, I wanted Nadia to blow something up. So sue me. C+
Which brings us to...
There’s a (Slight) Chance I Might be Going to Hell – Laurie Notaro
She’s a good writer, but perhaps I expected more laugh-out-loud belly laughs or something. There were a few, but ultimately this one left me rather empty as well. B-
Teach With Your Heart – Erin Gruwell
This is the story of the teacher upon whom the movie Freedom Writers is based
Can anyone really be that naive? Yet if a tenth of the book is true, it is a fantastic story. Heartwarming. B-
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Calamari for a Crowd
WELLINGTON, New Zealand - A colossal half-ton squid, believed to be the largest ever caught, may be destined for the microwave oven.
But researchers say they don’t want to cook the massive creature — just defrost it so they can study it better.
Scientists at New Zealand’s national museum, Te Papa Tongarewa, have taken possession of the beast that took fishermen two hours to land after it was netted by chance in Antarctic waters last month and was frozen soon afterward to preserve it.
Expert Steve O’Shea said the squid had weighed in at 1,089 pounds and measured 33 feet long — heavier but shorter than initial estimates of 990 pounds and 39 feet.
It appears to be by far the largest specimen of the rare and mysterious deep-water species Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni, or colossal squid, ever caught.
But researchers say they don’t want to cook the massive creature — just defrost it so they can study it better.
Scientists at New Zealand’s national museum, Te Papa Tongarewa, have taken possession of the beast that took fishermen two hours to land after it was netted by chance in Antarctic waters last month and was frozen soon afterward to preserve it.
Expert Steve O’Shea said the squid had weighed in at 1,089 pounds and measured 33 feet long — heavier but shorter than initial estimates of 990 pounds and 39 feet.
It appears to be by far the largest specimen of the rare and mysterious deep-water species Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni, or colossal squid, ever caught.
Another Thursday Night...
At the Right Residence!
(actual conversation)
Al(ways Right): What's for dinner?
Me: Tuna Helper.
Al: I was starting to wonder...we haven't had anything with Helper in the name for a while.
Me: I thought it would hide the taste of the Wheat Gluten I'm adding to yours...
(and you may recall this post)
(actual conversation)
Al(ways Right): What's for dinner?
Me: Tuna Helper.
Al: I was starting to wonder...we haven't had anything with Helper in the name for a while.
Me: I thought it would hide the taste of the Wheat Gluten I'm adding to yours...
(and you may recall this post)
Quit Yawning!
"What is a diary as a rule? A document useful to the person who keeps it. Dull to the contemporary who reads it and invaluable to the student, centuries afterward, who treasures it."
Helen Terry
Helen Terry
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Auto Abuse!
Keep driving! Don't slow down!Man blocks car’s exit with body, causing impact with finish!
RANCHO PALOS VERDES, Calif. — Keanu Reeves was behind the wheel of a Porsche that allegedly grazed a celebrity photographer standing in the path of the sports car, investigators said Tuesday.
The photographer fell to the ground and paramedics were called after Reeves' car allegedly struck the man at 7:30 p.m. Monday, said Deputy Ed Hernandez of the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department.
Reeves, 42, wasn't hurt.
The Associated Press left a phone message for a representative of the actor seeking comment.
"He grazed a paparazzi standing in front of his Porsche and the man fell to the ground," Hernandez said. It wasn't known how fast the Porsche was traveling.
Reeves was leaving a parking space in the Avenida Tranquila residential area near Los Verdes County Golf Course about 30 miles south of downtown Los Angeles, he said.
The photographer, whose name wasn't released, was taken to a local hospital for treatment of unknown injuries, Hernandez said.
No word on how the sports car is doing at this time. My thoughts are with Keanu during this difficult period. I just want to send my best wishes and suggest a mild rubbing compound. Wonder if the paint is metallic?
I know what you're thinking, 'cause right now I'm thinking the same thing. Actually, I've been thinking it ever since I got here: Why oh why didn't I take the BLUE Porsche?
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Yukon Land Rush
Anyone who has read this blog for a bit knows two things: I hate cold weather, and I love "FREE". So what happens when the two intersect? Well, I guess we'll never know, as I found this little tidbit much too late to act!
ANCHORAGE, Alaska - A town in Alaska's frozen interior that offered free land to anyone willing to put down roots had it all spoken for within hours Monday.
Alaska? I don't think so!
People dropped everything to fly or drive north, camping out in weather as cold as 25 below and dreaming of homes they would build amid the spruce and cottonwoods of the town of Anderson, population 300.
Wait...only 300 people in town? Dream come true! 25 below? Not so good. Those two days of a balmy 34 above won't make up for it. Spruce and Cottonwood? How heavy?
Interest was high despite the brutal winters of the interior, where temperatures can plunge to 60 below. Never mind that there's no grocery store or gas station in Anderson, 75 miles from the regional hub of Fairbanks.
When I said I wanted to get away from it all, I meant somewhere with paved roads...
ANCHORAGE, Alaska - A town in Alaska's frozen interior that offered free land to anyone willing to put down roots had it all spoken for within hours Monday.
Alaska? I don't think so!
People dropped everything to fly or drive north, camping out in weather as cold as 25 below and dreaming of homes they would build amid the spruce and cottonwoods of the town of Anderson, population 300.
Wait...only 300 people in town? Dream come true! 25 below? Not so good. Those two days of a balmy 34 above won't make up for it. Spruce and Cottonwood? How heavy?
Interest was high despite the brutal winters of the interior, where temperatures can plunge to 60 below. Never mind that there's no grocery store or gas station in Anderson, 75 miles from the regional hub of Fairbanks.
When I said I wanted to get away from it all, I meant somewhere with paved roads...
UnBearAble
So - when's the last time you did something species-appropriate?
Hey, I'm all for leaving nature alone - but since there's no habitat for this little guy to go home to, I support trying to keep him alive.
BERLIN - Berlin Zoo's abandoned polar bear cub Knut looks cute, cuddly and has become a front-page media darling, but an animal rights activist insists it was wrong to intervene and save the cub.
"Feeding by hand is not species-appropriate but a gross violation of animal protection laws," animal rights activist Frank Albrecht was quoted as saying by the mass-circulation Bild daily, which has featured regular photo spreads tracking fuzzy Knut's frolicking.
"The zoo must kill the bear."
When Knut — or "Cute Knut," as the 19 pound bear has become known — was born last December, his mother ignored him and his brother, who later died. Zoo officials intervened, choosing to raise the cub themselves.
The story prompted quick condemnations from the zoo, politicians and other animal rights groups.
"The killing of an animal has nothing to do with animal protection," said Wolfgang Apel, head of the German Federation for the Protection of Animals.
Albrecht told The Associated Press that his beliefs were more nuanced than reported by Bild, though he applauded the debate the article had started.
He explained that though he thought it was wrong of the zoo to have saved the cub's life, now that the bear can live on his own, it would be equally wrong to kill him.
Hey, I'm all for leaving nature alone - but since there's no habitat for this little guy to go home to, I support trying to keep him alive.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Just a Joke
Two hydrogen atoms meet.
One says "I've lost my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive."
San AnRAINio
Went to Texas for a few days – right when they decided to see rain after months of drought. River Walk turned into Walking Through River. Figures.
First off, neither Al nor I was feeling all that hot when we got on the plane. Nothing like a pounding sinus headache on an airline too cheap to give out snacks, much less pay to pressurize the cabin properly. And if my cold needed any help, the recirculated stale ‘sick passenger air’ was only too happy to assist. By the time we landed, I thought my head was going to explode.
Our luggage looked like it lost the battle of the Alamo, but at least it arrived on the same plane. This of course, leads me to interject the reason you don’t see many vultures on domestic flights -- only one carrion allowed per passenger.
I spent the whole time there eating cold pills, swallowing vitamins and drinking cups of “Airborne”. Fat good that did. The rain cancelled our plans of walking around and taking a boat ride, etc. We had one sort-of nice day where we saw the Alamo, but that was it. I brought five books and two magazines, and feared running out!
The part I enjoyed the most was when they showed this little informational video on the history of the Alamo. They depicted Mexico as initially inviting Americans to Texas to help colonize the area, but then they became angry when it was perceived too many had shown up and looked like they might take over. HA!! Boy that felt good to hear.
But the best hoot of all was playing fill in the blank with a few evil emperor-wanna-be statements.
Go ahead; see if you can fill in the blanks:
______left a legacy of disappointment and disaster by consistently placing his own self-interest above his duty to the nation.
_______used his influence to lift the losing candidate into the presidency.
_____overwhelmingly elected President …what began as a promise to unite the nation soon deteriorated into chaos.
______soon became bored in his first presidency, leaving the real work to his vice-president, who soon launched an ambitious reform of church, state and army.
_________’s repudiation of ______’s constitution and substitution of a much more centralized and less democratic form of government.
Although his failure to suppress the _________ enormously discredited him…
when his sale of millions of acres in what is now _________ to the _____________ united liberal opposition against him.
_________ had a "take-no-prisoners" policy
Funny how you could put the name George W. Bush in any of those blanks, isn’t it? Well, except for that last one. That one only applies to General Antonio López de Santa Anna.
First off, neither Al nor I was feeling all that hot when we got on the plane. Nothing like a pounding sinus headache on an airline too cheap to give out snacks, much less pay to pressurize the cabin properly. And if my cold needed any help, the recirculated stale ‘sick passenger air’ was only too happy to assist. By the time we landed, I thought my head was going to explode.
Our luggage looked like it lost the battle of the Alamo, but at least it arrived on the same plane. This of course, leads me to interject the reason you don’t see many vultures on domestic flights -- only one carrion allowed per passenger.
I spent the whole time there eating cold pills, swallowing vitamins and drinking cups of “Airborne”. Fat good that did. The rain cancelled our plans of walking around and taking a boat ride, etc. We had one sort-of nice day where we saw the Alamo, but that was it. I brought five books and two magazines, and feared running out!
The part I enjoyed the most was when they showed this little informational video on the history of the Alamo. They depicted Mexico as initially inviting Americans to Texas to help colonize the area, but then they became angry when it was perceived too many had shown up and looked like they might take over. HA!! Boy that felt good to hear.
But the best hoot of all was playing fill in the blank with a few evil emperor-wanna-be statements.
Go ahead; see if you can fill in the blanks:
______left a legacy of disappointment and disaster by consistently placing his own self-interest above his duty to the nation.
_______used his influence to lift the losing candidate into the presidency.
_____overwhelmingly elected President …what began as a promise to unite the nation soon deteriorated into chaos.
______soon became bored in his first presidency, leaving the real work to his vice-president, who soon launched an ambitious reform of church, state and army.
_________’s repudiation of ______’s constitution and substitution of a much more centralized and less democratic form of government.
Although his failure to suppress the _________ enormously discredited him…
when his sale of millions of acres in what is now _________ to the _____________ united liberal opposition against him.
_________ had a "take-no-prisoners" policy
Funny how you could put the name George W. Bush in any of those blanks, isn’t it? Well, except for that last one. That one only applies to General Antonio López de Santa Anna.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Buzz Me Up, Scotty
Doctor Robert Bohannon, a Durham, North Carolina, molecular scientist with nothing better to do, has invented a way to put the coffee in the donut -- well, the caffeine, anyway.
Thanks, Dr. Bohannon! We didn't need a cure for cancer anyway. Just more caffeine delivery systems. Keep 'em coming!
For an amusing commentary, check this blog: icyforums. I liked the suggestion of caffeinated communion wafers designed to keep you awake in church!
Buzz Donuts(TM) and Buzzed Bagels(TM) are the brainchild of Dr. Robert
Bohannon, a molecular scientist living in Durham, NC. Dr. Bohannon has developed
a way to mask the normal bitterness of caffeine so that it can be used in food
and pastry products such as bagels and donuts.
"I had the idea for caffeinated pastries several years ago, but the
bitter taste of the caffeine would always overwhelm the flavor," says Dr.
Bohannon, who is president of Onasco, Inc. "I eventually worked with some
flavoring experts and designed a method to mask the bitterness, which led to
successfully adding the caffeine equivalent of one to two cups of coffee to the
food item."
Dr. Bohannon has already approached well-known chains including Krispy
Kreme, Starbucks and Dunkin' Donuts about his invention. He thinks it's just a
matter of time before caffeinated pastries become a morning mainstay. He has
already patented the idea along with a method of controlling the amount of
caffeine contained in the food.
Thanks, Dr. Bohannon! We didn't need a cure for cancer anyway. Just more caffeine delivery systems. Keep 'em coming!
For an amusing commentary, check this blog: icyforums. I liked the suggestion of caffeinated communion wafers designed to keep you awake in church!
Godzilla vs. the Herpetologist
Godzilla vs. the herpetologist :
A lizard specialist examines the DVD return of Japan's icon.
Cute! I think he's a little too hard on the big guy, but that's ok. I can count myself among the legions of young fans who loved dinosaurs and applauded the thought that nature would strike back at man's pollution of the environment. I just bought the 50th anniversary plush model, and love it! Squeezing his chest produces the trademark two roars and his eyes flash red! Hope there's a Tad to follow...
A lizard specialist examines the DVD return of Japan's icon.
Cute! I think he's a little too hard on the big guy, but that's ok. I can count myself among the legions of young fans who loved dinosaurs and applauded the thought that nature would strike back at man's pollution of the environment. I just bought the 50th anniversary plush model, and love it! Squeezing his chest produces the trademark two roars and his eyes flash red! Hope there's a Tad to follow...
Friday, March 16, 2007
Wish I'd Said That
"Halliburton is moving its headquarters to Dubai to avoid paying taxes in the United States. Isn't that crazy -- when did Halliburton start paying taxes?"
Jay Leno
Thursday, March 15, 2007
All the Wrong Reasons
"...Nickelback plodded through its smug parade of unremarkable lunk-rock, each song's biggest distinction little more than its lack of distinction. But songs such as the hackneyed "Photograph," the hook-rich "How You Remind Me" and the hilariously banal "If Everyone Cared" proved the mundane and mediocre couldGosh, Josh, as soon as you win a Grammy and have beautiful women throwing their bras at you, I'll be sure to take your criticisim more seriously.
still be timeless.
It was caveman rock right down to the ancient, fossilized riffs, ready to be recycled by the next risible band down the line.The hits came easily — effortlessly, even — for Nickelback, and the fans clearly loved the equal lack of pretense and progression (not to mention the perfunctory pyrotechnics, canned banter and drum solo). Indeed, to its credit the band didn't bother disguising its lack of ambition Friday night.
At one point, the group wielded hand-held air cannons that fired T-shirts into the crowd, an apt metaphor that neatly summed up both the band's modus operandi and its broad appeal."
“I saw Nickelback and I want my $250 Deductible Back”
Awhile back, when the thought of a blizzard in early March seemed remote, I bought some tickets to see the band Nickelback. Al and I love them, and they were coming to the Allstate Arena. Guess what? You’re NOT in good hands with Allstate.
Concert day dawns with snow and 30-40 m.p.h. winds. They cancel our schools. But wait! I have tickets! I must go!
Al drove my car 23 miles through the Donner Pass to the town where I work. The plan was to put him on a train to his job, and then I will get him after work so we can meet friends for dinner before the show.
After navigating the arctic, Admirals Perry and Byrd watched the 6:50 a.m. train roll away from the platform as we approached. Ok, don’t panic. There’s another at 7:26. Sure there is.
Eventually we learn that a car is blocking the tracks somewhere down the line and the next train will be delayed an hour. Great. Now we’re both late to work. I can’t drive off and leave Al, as the station is “Closed for Renovation”. So we sat watching the blowing snow until his train arrives and I head to work, over an hour late, only to tell my boss I’m leaving an hour early…
So I drove over an hour to pick him up, had a nice dinner with Ashley and Amber, and headed over to the show. The girls wanted to go out afterwards, so they took their own car. We paid $15 to park at the AA and headed into the show. I love d seeing the teenage girls with no coats and miniskirts running through the snow for the door. Yeah, you look cool. As in frostbit.
Show was awesome; they opened with Animal and closed with Rock Star. Sat by Loud Drunk Guy and What Would Freud Say Couple, but survived.
Throngs of humanity crowed towards the exits. It was going rather orderly, but it’s easy to see how you can be crushed to death in a crowd. We were among the last to get out due to our nosebleed seats. Once back to my Acura, we were greeted by a huge dent. Seems someone backed right into my car and took off. Great. Four thousand police officers directing traffic and no one saw anything. Ashley took some pictures of the tire track, but no one offered to play CSI. They just handed me an accident report and went back to looking bored.
Al encountered even worse roads on Routes 20 and 23 while driving us home. The next morning we read the Sheriff’s department declared it the worst conditions in 28 years. Oh yay. I am so moving.
No time to recover from the tragedy of hit and run, as we had to attend a wedding that weekend as well. May as well take Denty Car. Parked it right on the street in front of the Metro in Chicago. Had a great time and then had to focus on our next adventure: a trip to San Antonio, TX.
After dealing with my hateful insurance agent (I’m convinced my small town is a dumping ground for a national insurance chains’ worst agents. The insurance is fine, the representatives are idiots. This one is under a woman’s name, but I have yet to speak to her. I deal with her husband, and let’s just say we aren’t best buds) I make an appointment to drop off my car at a local body shop. I’ve never used them before, so let’s see what happens. The guy says, I thought that was a kid’s car, when your husband brought it in… Yep. No matter how old I get, I’ll always have a car coveted by teenage boys, I want people to say, “Hey, who pimped that Hearst?” at my funeral.
Concert day dawns with snow and 30-40 m.p.h. winds. They cancel our schools. But wait! I have tickets! I must go!
Al drove my car 23 miles through the Donner Pass to the town where I work. The plan was to put him on a train to his job, and then I will get him after work so we can meet friends for dinner before the show.
After navigating the arctic, Admirals Perry and Byrd watched the 6:50 a.m. train roll away from the platform as we approached. Ok, don’t panic. There’s another at 7:26. Sure there is.
Eventually we learn that a car is blocking the tracks somewhere down the line and the next train will be delayed an hour. Great. Now we’re both late to work. I can’t drive off and leave Al, as the station is “Closed for Renovation”. So we sat watching the blowing snow until his train arrives and I head to work, over an hour late, only to tell my boss I’m leaving an hour early…
So I drove over an hour to pick him up, had a nice dinner with Ashley and Amber, and headed over to the show. The girls wanted to go out afterwards, so they took their own car. We paid $15 to park at the AA and headed into the show. I love d seeing the teenage girls with no coats and miniskirts running through the snow for the door. Yeah, you look cool. As in frostbit.
Show was awesome; they opened with Animal and closed with Rock Star. Sat by Loud Drunk Guy and What Would Freud Say Couple, but survived.
Throngs of humanity crowed towards the exits. It was going rather orderly, but it’s easy to see how you can be crushed to death in a crowd. We were among the last to get out due to our nosebleed seats. Once back to my Acura, we were greeted by a huge dent. Seems someone backed right into my car and took off. Great. Four thousand police officers directing traffic and no one saw anything. Ashley took some pictures of the tire track, but no one offered to play CSI. They just handed me an accident report and went back to looking bored.
Al encountered even worse roads on Routes 20 and 23 while driving us home. The next morning we read the Sheriff’s department declared it the worst conditions in 28 years. Oh yay. I am so moving.
No time to recover from the tragedy of hit and run, as we had to attend a wedding that weekend as well. May as well take Denty Car. Parked it right on the street in front of the Metro in Chicago. Had a great time and then had to focus on our next adventure: a trip to San Antonio, TX.
After dealing with my hateful insurance agent (I’m convinced my small town is a dumping ground for a national insurance chains’ worst agents. The insurance is fine, the representatives are idiots. This one is under a woman’s name, but I have yet to speak to her. I deal with her husband, and let’s just say we aren’t best buds) I make an appointment to drop off my car at a local body shop. I’ve never used them before, so let’s see what happens. The guy says, I thought that was a kid’s car, when your husband brought it in… Yep. No matter how old I get, I’ll always have a car coveted by teenage boys, I want people to say, “Hey, who pimped that Hearst?” at my funeral.
Maytag Sucks IV
I have about thirty thousand stories to tell, and between Mutinous Maytag appliances and evil motorists, it should take about six months of posting to catch up on the month or so I haven’t been keeping up.
First off, you may recall: Maytag SUCKS!!!
After ignoring our pleas to rectify the washer situation, Al fixed it himself for about $25 to avoid a $300 ‘professional’ repair bill. Next, the Hoover (division of Maytag) vacuum ceased to suck. Again, Al saved the day. Whew!
But when a friend called and asked if I had heard about the huge dishwasher recall, well, that was too much! Sure enough, a little research showed that our dishwasher was part of a massive recall due to electrical fires. Seems the little Jet-Dry liquid dispenser could leak gel onto wires, causing a house fire. Approximately 183 homes went up in smoke before company decided to admit perhaps there was problem. Likely they are suing the spotless rinse manufacturers as we speak, since it couldn’t be Maytag’s CRAPPY PRODUCT, now could it?
Anyhoo, I spent over 55 minutes on hold trying to reach them on their special recall line. Hung up. Tried again later. More hold. (Subliminal message behind hold music "Don't sue us when your house goes up in smoke" set to Great White's House of Broken Love) ZZZZZZ....
Made an appointment for the repair, and was told a new dishwasher door would be sent to my house. An authorized repairman would arrive to install it. I was told to disconnect the washer in the meantime. As someone who loves to turn either the washing machine or dishwasher on before walking out the door to work, it was very disconcerting to realize I was playing with electrical fire!
Ticking time bomb or no, I was very disgruntled at having to wash dishes by hand. For almost 14 years I did not have a dishwasher. Al’s first house was too small, and then we rented a farm house while building our current home. Like Scarlett O’Hara, I vowed to never hand-wash again.
So repair guy shows up, (thanks Mom and Dad, for being able to sit at my house all day and wait for fix-it dude) installs aforementioned door, but says something else is broke, and they need to order a new control panel as well.
Hmm. I think HE broke it while installing the door. Whatever, it’s covered. Except that it means another two weeks of paper plates whenever possible. Oh, and he refuses to take the old door away. Idiot.
Next, the computer decides to act up in a fit of electronic solidarity with its unreliable brethren. I spend almost two weeks without a connection due to the MacAfee Corporation; solet’s just add them to the “I May Need a Life, but Your Product Sucks” hall of fame.
So of course the only way this whole depressing failure known as my life could possibly get worse is by something happening to my car. Yep.
First off, you may recall: Maytag SUCKS!!!
After ignoring our pleas to rectify the washer situation, Al fixed it himself for about $25 to avoid a $300 ‘professional’ repair bill. Next, the Hoover (division of Maytag) vacuum ceased to suck. Again, Al saved the day. Whew!
But when a friend called and asked if I had heard about the huge dishwasher recall, well, that was too much! Sure enough, a little research showed that our dishwasher was part of a massive recall due to electrical fires. Seems the little Jet-Dry liquid dispenser could leak gel onto wires, causing a house fire. Approximately 183 homes went up in smoke before company decided to admit perhaps there was problem. Likely they are suing the spotless rinse manufacturers as we speak, since it couldn’t be Maytag’s CRAPPY PRODUCT, now could it?
Anyhoo, I spent over 55 minutes on hold trying to reach them on their special recall line. Hung up. Tried again later. More hold. (Subliminal message behind hold music "Don't sue us when your house goes up in smoke" set to Great White's House of Broken Love) ZZZZZZ....
Made an appointment for the repair, and was told a new dishwasher door would be sent to my house. An authorized repairman would arrive to install it. I was told to disconnect the washer in the meantime. As someone who loves to turn either the washing machine or dishwasher on before walking out the door to work, it was very disconcerting to realize I was playing with electrical fire!
Ticking time bomb or no, I was very disgruntled at having to wash dishes by hand. For almost 14 years I did not have a dishwasher. Al’s first house was too small, and then we rented a farm house while building our current home. Like Scarlett O’Hara, I vowed to never hand-wash again.
So repair guy shows up, (thanks Mom and Dad, for being able to sit at my house all day and wait for fix-it dude) installs aforementioned door, but says something else is broke, and they need to order a new control panel as well.
Hmm. I think HE broke it while installing the door. Whatever, it’s covered. Except that it means another two weeks of paper plates whenever possible. Oh, and he refuses to take the old door away. Idiot.
Next, the computer decides to act up in a fit of electronic solidarity with its unreliable brethren. I spend almost two weeks without a connection due to the MacAfee Corporation; solet’s just add them to the “I May Need a Life, but Your Product Sucks” hall of fame.
So of course the only way this whole depressing failure known as my life could possibly get worse is by something happening to my car. Yep.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Doggone Deception, Or, The Devil Wears Digby
This is a Raccoon Dog.
Not very domesticated, but a living animal whose fur should be labeled as such.
WASHINGTON — That fur trim on your jacket that you think is fake might be all too real.
An animal advocacy group says its investigation has turned up coats — some with designer labels, some at high-end retailers — with fur from man's best friend.
Some retailers scrambled to pull the coats from shelves, take them off websites and offer refunds to consumers who bought them.
The Humane Society of the United States says it bought coats from reputable outlets, such as upscale Nordstrom, with designer labels — Andrew Marc, Tommy Hilfiger, for example — and found them trimmed with dog fur, even though the fur was advertised as fake.
This is a disgusting example of deliberate corporate mislabeling. Although I am a staunch supporter of the right to wear fur, I also vigorously defend the right NOT to wear fur or consume animal products. Once again, the consumer is kept in the dark. People trying to make an ethical decision were deceived by willful misadvertisement. We must unite to put an end to these practices. Of 25 coats tested, 24 were mislabeled!
Gosh, here's a surprise: most were from China. We all know how much China loves dogs.
No Fawn Left Behind
To the Editor:
It is time someone sets the record straight regarding the deer. You know, the ones that are getting hit by cars. I think I have the solution. The answer lies in addressing the root of the problem. And the problem is this: I believe that there is a segment of the deer population that has reading problems.
Yes, we put up signs alongside the road where we know the deer will cross. But what happens? Some of the deer have difficulty reading them. Why? There are many factors. Low-income habitats. Instinct disabilities. Lack of parental imprinting. Sure, they might be able to read, but their comprehension skills are low. Toss in weak word decoding strategies, and you have a recipe for disaster.So what do we do?
I have a plan. I call it No Deer Left Behind. What we do is identify the deer that are lagging behind. We intensify efforts to boost basic skills. We initiate a standardized testing format. We hold conservation districts accountable, punishable by funding reductions, re-quired implementation of supplemental deer tutorial services, and staff restructuring. And voilà , problem solved.
No Deer Left Behind. Finally a program where you can really get a bang for your buck.
Michael Penkava
Crystal Lake
It is time someone sets the record straight regarding the deer. You know, the ones that are getting hit by cars. I think I have the solution. The answer lies in addressing the root of the problem. And the problem is this: I believe that there is a segment of the deer population that has reading problems.
Yes, we put up signs alongside the road where we know the deer will cross. But what happens? Some of the deer have difficulty reading them. Why? There are many factors. Low-income habitats. Instinct disabilities. Lack of parental imprinting. Sure, they might be able to read, but their comprehension skills are low. Toss in weak word decoding strategies, and you have a recipe for disaster.So what do we do?
I have a plan. I call it No Deer Left Behind. What we do is identify the deer that are lagging behind. We intensify efforts to boost basic skills. We initiate a standardized testing format. We hold conservation districts accountable, punishable by funding reductions, re-quired implementation of supplemental deer tutorial services, and staff restructuring. And voilà , problem solved.
No Deer Left Behind. Finally a program where you can really get a bang for your buck.
Michael Penkava
Crystal Lake
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Auto Abuse -- Repeat Offender!!
Paris Hilton was caught by authorities driving without headlights and with a suspended license on Tuesday night.
Police seized Hilton's $190,000 blue Bentley Continental GTC and prosecutors intend to ask a judge to revoke her probation for reckless driving.
The hotel heiress and star of the Fox reality series "The Simple Life" was pulled over on Sunset Boulevard in West Hollywood at 11pm on Tuesday night due to driving without headlights. The cops noticed upon further investigation that Hilton's license had been suspended following her sentencing in January for alcohol-related reckless driving following a September, 2006 arrest.
Apparently Hilton did not realize the car's headlights were not on because she had just left a brightly lit parking structure. Police impounded the Bentley. Police authorities can hold the 12-cylinder, 550-horsepower Bentley for up to 30 days.
Stop this woman before an innocent high-end automobile loses its life!! I am making a public plea for the State of California to revoke her car driving and ownership privileges! This idiot is tooling around Hollywood drunk in cars I can only dream about! Take possession of that poor super car, Orange County! Then sell it to me for $500 at your next auction.
Police seized Hilton's $190,000 blue Bentley Continental GTC and prosecutors intend to ask a judge to revoke her probation for reckless driving.
The hotel heiress and star of the Fox reality series "The Simple Life" was pulled over on Sunset Boulevard in West Hollywood at 11pm on Tuesday night due to driving without headlights. The cops noticed upon further investigation that Hilton's license had been suspended following her sentencing in January for alcohol-related reckless driving following a September, 2006 arrest.
Apparently Hilton did not realize the car's headlights were not on because she had just left a brightly lit parking structure. Police impounded the Bentley. Police authorities can hold the 12-cylinder, 550-horsepower Bentley for up to 30 days.
Stop this woman before an innocent high-end automobile loses its life!! I am making a public plea for the State of California to revoke her car driving and ownership privileges! This idiot is tooling around Hollywood drunk in cars I can only dream about! Take possession of that poor super car, Orange County! Then sell it to me for $500 at your next auction.
The Higher Power of Getting Lucky
(Northwest Herald) WOODSTOCK, Ill.
The library is not usually considered a venue for sex, but two Woodstock residents were caught in the act at the Woodstock Public Library this week, a police official said.
Raul A. Tapia, 19, and a juvenile female were caught having consensual sex among the book stacks at 414 W. Judd St. around 5 p.m. Monday, said Woodstock Police Sgt. Richard Johns.
There was no word regarding Dewey section they were discovered in, or if either had been inspired by this year's Newbery Medal winner by Susan Patron.
The library is not usually considered a venue for sex, but two Woodstock residents were caught in the act at the Woodstock Public Library this week, a police official said.
Raul A. Tapia, 19, and a juvenile female were caught having consensual sex among the book stacks at 414 W. Judd St. around 5 p.m. Monday, said Woodstock Police Sgt. Richard Johns.
There was no word regarding Dewey section they were discovered in, or if either had been inspired by this year's Newbery Medal winner by Susan Patron.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Back to Blog!
No, I'm not dead, but I may as well have been; as our Internet has been out for ten days!! I will tell all the gruesome details later, but let's just say:
McAffe Sucks!!!!!!!
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Feblog
Winter of My Discontent
Amazing how something like the crappiest winter in a decade could keep me from blogging, but I’ve been so busy shoveling and cursing the lack of El Nino, I just haven’t been typing as I should. We’re so far below average; we look like George W. Bush’s college grades.
Whew! Is it 4705 already? I don’t feel a day over 4302. As this year my birthday* coincided with Chinese New Year, it was a great excuse to go out for a feast! Well, they sure weren’t kidding about the whole Year of the Pig thing at our local Chinese eatery. We ordered the special dinner for two and will have leftovers well into the year of the Rooster…
This brings up the Chinese Zodiac, something I love, as I’m a Snake! (Mr. Right is my very compatible star mate, the Ox).
So I’m doing my Valentine’s shopping last week and picked up some gloves, since Al needed new ones. I look on the rack for a size and a color choice. Didn’t give it much thought; they were bound together with the plastic tie used by stores to affix tags to merchandise. Al opens his gifts (none too impressed with the tartan-green iPod holder; what’s with that? Doesn’t every one live to accessorize?) and tries on the gloves. Two lefts! I just hope that guy with two right hands is happy. Or maybe some amputee got a real deal, whatever.
I go back to the department store Friday for the return. Of course, as a Shopaholic (our twelve-step program meets at those old malls on deadmalls.com – so far, we’ve bought all the old store fixtures) I can’t JUST return something. I must leave with even more great sale stuff…
A box of 20 wooden hangars on the Clearance rack catches my eye. It’s like down to $7.45 or something. In the cart it goes. So do the Valentine’s day candles and holders, necklace and earrings, a leather belt, and underwear for Al.
I scour the Thermal Long Underwear rack in the hopes of making it to May first alive. Plenty of pretty choices – all in XXL. Hmmm. Proof positive fat people don’t get as cold as scrawny ones. Discouraged, I go to the checkout.
As I stand in line, I notice the racks and racks of Chicago Bears wear under the “60% off” signs at the front of the store. Should I get some for Al? Naw, it’ll be 75% off next week. There’s certainly no shortage! I’m amazed at how much is there. Gosh, guess they were anticipating some demand, eh?
I approach the checker and see a President’s Day sign. Oh my gosh, I get an additional 15% off! Whee! I would have bought more, had I known! Guess I should have looked at the Bears stuff. There’s always next year.
Get home and inspect the hangars. They must have been made by the country that underbid China. One of the cross bars looks warped, but other than that, they’re quite nice for hanging blue jeans. I do the math and they came to about 37 cents each. Score!
Had to go to the local Wal-Mart for the long underwear. Guess it make sense. Who shops at Evil Mart? Yep. All the sedentary SUV-driving, snack-cake buying locals. Plenty of Smalls on the rack. Not the same quality, but I’m too chilly to be picky at this point.
*"Forty-two!" yelled Loonquawl. "Is that all you've got to show for seven and a half million years' work?"
Amazing how something like the crappiest winter in a decade could keep me from blogging, but I’ve been so busy shoveling and cursing the lack of El Nino, I just haven’t been typing as I should. We’re so far below average; we look like George W. Bush’s college grades.
Whew! Is it 4705 already? I don’t feel a day over 4302. As this year my birthday* coincided with Chinese New Year, it was a great excuse to go out for a feast! Well, they sure weren’t kidding about the whole Year of the Pig thing at our local Chinese eatery. We ordered the special dinner for two and will have leftovers well into the year of the Rooster…
This brings up the Chinese Zodiac, something I love, as I’m a Snake! (Mr. Right is my very compatible star mate, the Ox).
So I’m doing my Valentine’s shopping last week and picked up some gloves, since Al needed new ones. I look on the rack for a size and a color choice. Didn’t give it much thought; they were bound together with the plastic tie used by stores to affix tags to merchandise. Al opens his gifts (none too impressed with the tartan-green iPod holder; what’s with that? Doesn’t every one live to accessorize?) and tries on the gloves. Two lefts! I just hope that guy with two right hands is happy. Or maybe some amputee got a real deal, whatever.
I go back to the department store Friday for the return. Of course, as a Shopaholic (our twelve-step program meets at those old malls on deadmalls.com – so far, we’ve bought all the old store fixtures) I can’t JUST return something. I must leave with even more great sale stuff…
A box of 20 wooden hangars on the Clearance rack catches my eye. It’s like down to $7.45 or something. In the cart it goes. So do the Valentine’s day candles and holders, necklace and earrings, a leather belt, and underwear for Al.
I scour the Thermal Long Underwear rack in the hopes of making it to May first alive. Plenty of pretty choices – all in XXL. Hmmm. Proof positive fat people don’t get as cold as scrawny ones. Discouraged, I go to the checkout.
As I stand in line, I notice the racks and racks of Chicago Bears wear under the “60% off” signs at the front of the store. Should I get some for Al? Naw, it’ll be 75% off next week. There’s certainly no shortage! I’m amazed at how much is there. Gosh, guess they were anticipating some demand, eh?
I approach the checker and see a President’s Day sign. Oh my gosh, I get an additional 15% off! Whee! I would have bought more, had I known! Guess I should have looked at the Bears stuff. There’s always next year.
Get home and inspect the hangars. They must have been made by the country that underbid China. One of the cross bars looks warped, but other than that, they’re quite nice for hanging blue jeans. I do the math and they came to about 37 cents each. Score!
Had to go to the local Wal-Mart for the long underwear. Guess it make sense. Who shops at Evil Mart? Yep. All the sedentary SUV-driving, snack-cake buying locals. Plenty of Smalls on the rack. Not the same quality, but I’m too chilly to be picky at this point.
*"Forty-two!" yelled Loonquawl. "Is that all you've got to show for seven and a half million years' work?"
"I checked it very thoroughly, it's 42" said the computer, "and that quite definitely is the answer. I think the problem, to be quite honest with you, is that you've never actually known what the question is."
And a Happy Birthday to all who make jokes in base 13!
This Could So Happen at My House!
From AP:
BRANDON, Fla. - A palm-sized pet turtle and the golden retriever that gobbled it up survived the misadventure thanks to the quick actions of a 12-year-old girl, a veterinarian said.
The saga of Pepper the red-eared slider turtle and Bella the golden retriever started last week. Shelby Terihay, 12, moved her pet pond turtles indoors to protect them from a cold snap — a plan that worked well until Bella found some of the turtles in a bathtub, The Tampa Tribune reported.
A quick head count confirmed Bella had swallowed one of the turtles. Shelby insisted on a rescue mission, and on the advice of a vet, her parents made Bella vomit. Out came Pepper, still alive despite a shattered shell and an estimated 10 minutes inside Bella's belly.
The saga of Pepper the red-eared slider turtle and Bella the golden retriever started last week. Shelby Terihay, 12, moved her pet pond turtles indoors to protect them from a cold snap — a plan that worked well until Bella found some of the turtles in a bathtub, The Tampa Tribune reported.
A quick head count confirmed Bella had swallowed one of the turtles. Shelby insisted on a rescue mission, and on the advice of a vet, her parents made Bella vomit. Out came Pepper, still alive despite a shattered shell and an estimated 10 minutes inside Bella's belly.
"This was definitely a first for me," veterinarian David Thomassy said.
Thomassy patched up Pepper's shell and credited Shelby with saving Bella too.
"The turtle would definitely have caused an obstruction," Thomassy said. "Without cutting it out directly, it eventually would have killed the dog."
Thomassy patched up Pepper's shell and credited Shelby with saving Bella too.
"The turtle would definitely have caused an obstruction," Thomassy said. "Without cutting it out directly, it eventually would have killed the dog."
Was the dog checked for salmonella?
Turtle eats dog, now that's news!
And you thought my cooking was bad...
If you believe we sterilize our equipment, clap your hands...
(but don't lick them)
If you believe a snack food can kill, clap your hands...
If you believe a lawsuit will be filed, clap your hands...
If you believe a snack food can kill, clap your hands...
If you believe a lawsuit will be filed, clap your hands...
Gosh, Wendy, I'm sorry I've been such a jealous fool!
To make amends, I've made you a nice sandwich...
Friday, February 16, 2007
Fashion Forward
"Famous designer Donatella Versace has recommended that Hillary Clinton stop wearing those pant suits and start wearing dresses and skirts. Versace said Hillary should treat femininity as an opportunity. You know, the way Bill does." --Jay Leno
Monday, February 12, 2007
Thought so!
You paid attention during 91% of high school!
85-100% You must be an autodidact, because American high schools don't get scores that high! Good show, old chap!
Do you deserve your high school diploma?
Create a Quiz
Demand Your Equal Right
...to rape, pillage and plunder just like the boys!
Ladies! Are you sick of making 78% of the pay a man does for the same job?
Having only 14 Senate seats and 70 House?
Tired of being almost exactly half the earth's population, yet none of it's Ten Worst Dictators?
That's right, while you're taking the kids to soccer practice, scrubbing toilets, planning and cooking meals, some two-bit male despot is getting all the glory!
Wouldn't you love to have some Me-Time to write a book? Produce a movie? Ban lip-syncing? Execute homosexual males? Declare a mandatory religion? Control the press? Have currency issued with your image? Arm ten-year-olds?
Or just have a golden statue erected in your honor?
The list goes on and on. I don't know about you, but I'm tired of missing out! Get motivated, sisters!
Stage a coup! Get involved. It's never too late to impact world history.
Ladies! Are you sick of making 78% of the pay a man does for the same job?
Having only 14 Senate seats and 70 House?
Tired of being almost exactly half the earth's population, yet none of it's Ten Worst Dictators?
That's right, while you're taking the kids to soccer practice, scrubbing toilets, planning and cooking meals, some two-bit male despot is getting all the glory!
Wouldn't you love to have some Me-Time to write a book? Produce a movie? Ban lip-syncing? Execute homosexual males? Declare a mandatory religion? Control the press? Have currency issued with your image? Arm ten-year-olds?
Or just have a golden statue erected in your honor?
The list goes on and on. I don't know about you, but I'm tired of missing out! Get motivated, sisters!
Stage a coup! Get involved. It's never too late to impact world history.
Friday, February 09, 2007
Why Didn't I Think of That?
"I thought the only space traveler who wore a wig and an adult diaper was William Shatner." –David Letterman
Read more awesome jokes I didn't come up with here.
Read more awesome jokes I didn't come up with here.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Stupidest Pet Owner Ever Award
Hey, kids! Let's buy a dog that looks like a snack food, then antagonize a raptor!
ASSOCIATED PRESS
BERLIN -- A German appellate court in Stuttgart proposed $19,500 fine Tuesday against a 70-year-old man who fatally beat an escaped golden eagle with his walking stick after it attacked his dachshund.
The man was walking with his wife and leashed dog in the town of Siegelsbach in southeast Germany in October 2005 when a passer-by told him the eagle - recently escaped from the center - was nearby. The man then approached the eagle.
When the eagle attacked the dachshund, the man hit it with his walking stick two to three times, he told the appellate court. The blows broke a wing and several bones of the bird, which died a few days later.
"The eagle pounced on my dog," he told the court. "I had to rescue it."
The lower court had found the dog owner bore the bulk of the responsibility because he had been warned not to approach the bird and should have known that an eagle might regard a small dog as prey.
Well, duh!
ASSOCIATED PRESS
BERLIN -- A German appellate court in Stuttgart proposed $19,500 fine Tuesday against a 70-year-old man who fatally beat an escaped golden eagle with his walking stick after it attacked his dachshund.
The man was walking with his wife and leashed dog in the town of Siegelsbach in southeast Germany in October 2005 when a passer-by told him the eagle - recently escaped from the center - was nearby. The man then approached the eagle.
When the eagle attacked the dachshund, the man hit it with his walking stick two to three times, he told the appellate court. The blows broke a wing and several bones of the bird, which died a few days later.
"The eagle pounced on my dog," he told the court. "I had to rescue it."
The lower court had found the dog owner bore the bulk of the responsibility because he had been warned not to approach the bird and should have known that an eagle might regard a small dog as prey.
Well, duh!
So Sleepy
Here's a nice link explaining true hibernation, something neither my brumating lizards nor torpid turtles are doing.
Guess I have to settle for winter lethargy. Sigh.
Guess I have to settle for winter lethargy. Sigh.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
This Never Happened to Major Nelson...
Ok, first off, can we all agree that 'wearing a diaper to avoid bathroom breaks' is evidence of a premeditated plan? And that a BB Gun, steel mallet, knife and pepper spray don't exactly shout "I'm just here to talk"? More like the Right Stuff for murder, wouldn't you agree?
Astro-Nut Lisa Nowak having a bad day
Really now, who wants a grown man known as Billy O?
But most troubling, what part of putting an electronic monitoring device on a robotics major sounds like a security measure?
"More than a working relationship but less than a romantic relationship" - heck, that describes most marriages I know. For more on this angle, see Tom D'Antoni.
What of that 'psychological screening' all astronauts get? Big help here, obviously.
Bottom line: Why didn't she just send a robot to kill her rival?
Astro-Nut Lisa Nowak having a bad day
Really now, who wants a grown man known as Billy O?
But most troubling, what part of putting an electronic monitoring device on a robotics major sounds like a security measure?
"More than a working relationship but less than a romantic relationship" - heck, that describes most marriages I know. For more on this angle, see Tom D'Antoni.
What of that 'psychological screening' all astronauts get? Big help here, obviously.
Bottom line: Why didn't she just send a robot to kill her rival?
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Who Knew?
Guess the Super Bowl isn't the time to ask your husband stupid questions about the rules of football.
However, I did love the Oprah and David Letterman commercial. That was excellent.
Oh, and am I the only one who noticed the End of Civilization as We Know It as evidenced by the attempt to redeem the half-time show's tarnished reputation by hiring...Prince?
However, I did love the Oprah and David Letterman commercial. That was excellent.
Oh, and am I the only one who noticed the End of Civilization as We Know It as evidenced by the attempt to redeem the half-time show's tarnished reputation by hiring...Prince?
Happy Birthday Vince!!
How do I begin to express my love for Alice? I have just about every album, more than a few concert videos, comic books, t-shirts, and you-name-its... I just love his music!
I can't quite put my finger on what fascination this misogynist, eternal seventh-grader holds for me. Many songs are juvenile anthems shallower than my lizard's water dish, but who else could make Sick Things (in Cars) sound so sexy? I can't wait for his new book, Alice Cooper, Golf Monster: A Rock 'n' Roller's 12 Steps to Becoming a Golf Addict.
Wayne: "So, do you come to Milwaukee often?" Alice Cooper: "Well, I'm a regular visitor here, but Milwaukee has certainly had its share of visitors. The French missionaries and explorers began visiting here in the late 16th century." Pete: "Hey, isn't "Milwaukee" an Indian name?" Alice Cooper: "Yes, Pete, it is. In fact, it was originally an Algonquin term meaning "the good land."" Wayne: "I was not aware of that." Alice Cooper: "I think one of the most interesting things about Milwaukee is that it's the only American city to elect three Socialist mayors." Wayne to the camera: "Does this guy know how to party or what?"
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Happy Groundhog Day, Everyone!
Happy Groundhog Day, Everyone!
Happy Groundhog Day, Everyone!
Happy Groundhog Day, Everyone!
Happy Groundhog Day, Everyone!
Happy Groundhog Day, Everyone!
Happy Groundhog Day, Everyone!
Happy Groundhog Day, Everyone!
Happy Groundhog Day, Everyone!
Happy Groundhog Day, Everyone!
Happy Groundhog Day, Everyone!
Happy Groundhog Day, Everyone!
Happy Groundhog Day, Everyone!*
*Confidential to City of Woodstock: Get A Life!
Think Spring
Lust. Greed. Envy.
Yep, it's pretty hard not to invoke the seven deadly sins when looking at one of these Atomic Orange Indy Pace Cars. No telling how many commandments I'd break for one of these $66.995 babies. 500 will be offered to the public.
From the Corvette Museum:
"In years past, many Indy pace cars required extensive modification to perform their on-track tasks. The 2007 Corvette’s powertrain and suspension, including the 400-horsepower (298 kW) LS2 small-block V-8 engine, are more than adequate to maintain the speed, acceleration and handling required to lead the pack around the famed “Brickyard” race track. "
2007 marks the ninth year the Corvette has been chosen to pace the Indy 500. No word yet on who will be driving it.
Yep, it's pretty hard not to invoke the seven deadly sins when looking at one of these Atomic Orange Indy Pace Cars. No telling how many commandments I'd break for one of these $66.995 babies. 500 will be offered to the public.
From the Corvette Museum:
"In years past, many Indy pace cars required extensive modification to perform their on-track tasks. The 2007 Corvette’s powertrain and suspension, including the 400-horsepower (298 kW) LS2 small-block V-8 engine, are more than adequate to maintain the speed, acceleration and handling required to lead the pack around the famed “Brickyard” race track. "
2007 marks the ninth year the Corvette has been chosen to pace the Indy 500. No word yet on who will be driving it.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
T-t-t-oo Cold t-t-to Type!
Brrr! This cold snap is killing me. I wasn't even going to post tonight. I was sitting on the couch in front of the fire contemplating putting on a second pair of socks when a History Channel special caught my attention. They did this thing on how ancient civilizations had advanced technology. You know, a variation on every History Channel show ever created. Watch long enough and you see the same lame actor footage used forty-seven different ways in three different dynasties. Whatever.
Well they were doing something about how the ancients had steam engines, and how they found the prints for tanks, cars, subs, etc. in Da Vinci's notebooks, etc. The best thing was some little golden 'insects' found in South America that at first glance were representations of bugs. Upon further inspection, they share more features of modern fighter jets than bees. That had some promise, and I was intrigued. But the worst part was saved for last. They wasted all this time on Did the Ancient Egyptians possess flight?
Seems in one of the oldest pyramids a wooden bird on a stick was found. Looked like a child's toy. Perhaps a model of a bird. Oh, no, contended a few 'experts' trotted out by HC. This crudely carved stick (with painted eyes and mouth, no less) wasn't just a bird. It was an aerodynamically designed glider. The Egyptians unlocked flight 2500 years before the Wright brothers.
Yeah, Wright.
Sure, I think the ancients had many things we don't know about. But finding a whittled falcon does not an air force make.
So they spend all this time reconstructing the bird in a larger scale and putting it in a wind tunnel. Gee, turns out the thing had no stability. But wait! Looks like something broke off the artifact. Why, it must be the rudder needed to fly as a glider! Yes, yes, that's it!
If that's not enough to turn you off the HC forever, they had this new age hippy 'expert' Dr. Ruth Hover showing a hieroglyphic of...(are you sitting down?) a helicopter!! Yep. Hand, bird, ankh, helicopter! It's right there! I'm going to bed. See you in spring.
Well they were doing something about how the ancients had steam engines, and how they found the prints for tanks, cars, subs, etc. in Da Vinci's notebooks, etc. The best thing was some little golden 'insects' found in South America that at first glance were representations of bugs. Upon further inspection, they share more features of modern fighter jets than bees. That had some promise, and I was intrigued. But the worst part was saved for last. They wasted all this time on Did the Ancient Egyptians possess flight?
Seems in one of the oldest pyramids a wooden bird on a stick was found. Looked like a child's toy. Perhaps a model of a bird. Oh, no, contended a few 'experts' trotted out by HC. This crudely carved stick (with painted eyes and mouth, no less) wasn't just a bird. It was an aerodynamically designed glider. The Egyptians unlocked flight 2500 years before the Wright brothers.
Yeah, Wright.
Sure, I think the ancients had many things we don't know about. But finding a whittled falcon does not an air force make.
So they spend all this time reconstructing the bird in a larger scale and putting it in a wind tunnel. Gee, turns out the thing had no stability. But wait! Looks like something broke off the artifact. Why, it must be the rudder needed to fly as a glider! Yes, yes, that's it!
If that's not enough to turn you off the HC forever, they had this new age hippy 'expert' Dr. Ruth Hover showing a hieroglyphic of...(are you sitting down?) a helicopter!! Yep. Hand, bird, ankh, helicopter! It's right there! I'm going to bed. See you in spring.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Can a Panda do This?
Not likely! But it would be nice if more endangered species could spontaneously reproduce. Here's a cool blog post about how Flora the Komodo dragon gave birth - never having been exposed to a male dragon. Full story here.
About 70 reptile species including snakes and lizards are known to reproduce asexually in a process known as parthenogenesis. But Flora’s virginal conception, and that of another Komodo dragon in April at the London Zoo, are the first documented in Komodo dragons.
About 70 reptile species including snakes and lizards are known to reproduce asexually in a process known as parthenogenesis. But Flora’s virginal conception, and that of another Komodo dragon in April at the London Zoo, are the first documented in Komodo dragons.
Bye-Bye Barbaro
2003-2007
PHILADELPHIA, United States (AFP) - Barbaro lost his eight-month battle for life this morning when the Kentucky Derby winner was put down after a major setback in his recovery from a broken leg.
University of Pennsylvania New Bolton Center surgical chief Dean Richardson was near tears and choking up as he spoke about Barbaro, who was put down at 10:30 Monday morning.
"I really didn't think it was appropriate to continue with this treatment because the opportunity for recovery was so poor and his condition was not going to improve very much," Richardson said.
"We all recognized this day could come. We got through it and made the decision I'm comfortable with. We're very comfortable we made the right decision... You have to do what's best for the patient."
PHILADELPHIA, United States (AFP) - Barbaro lost his eight-month battle for life this morning when the Kentucky Derby winner was put down after a major setback in his recovery from a broken leg.
University of Pennsylvania New Bolton Center surgical chief Dean Richardson was near tears and choking up as he spoke about Barbaro, who was put down at 10:30 Monday morning.
"I really didn't think it was appropriate to continue with this treatment because the opportunity for recovery was so poor and his condition was not going to improve very much," Richardson said.
"We all recognized this day could come. We got through it and made the decision I'm comfortable with. We're very comfortable we made the right decision... You have to do what's best for the patient."
Welcome Welcome
Help me welcome to the web (and my blog roll) the Shera-Shera Journals! This new Texas blogger has lots to say about life, love and her new home.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Flush With Possibilities
Now I love Indy, the amazing weather indicator fish, very much. But take him to see the vet? I don't think so. Heck, I wouldn't take AL to the doctor if he wasn't insured. But I must admit I was very intrigued by this article. I can certainly understand taking a $10,000 show fish in for a check up, but check out this mom (aka Best Mom Ever):
Three years ago, Joann Mead found her daughter's goldfish, Raven, floating on the surface of the water, but still alive. Fearing her daughter would be upset to find Raven in such a condition, Mead contacted Helen Roberts, a fish veterinarian in Orchard Park, N.Y., and made the six-hour drive to her clinic. Roberts inserted a quartz stone inside Raven's swim bladder, weighing Raven down so she wouldn't float to the surface. The X-rays and surgery cost well over $200. Mead said her friends told her she was crazy for spending so much time and money on a fish. But Mead feels she has a responsibility as a pet owner. "Fin, feather or fur, there is a moral obligation to take care of that pet, no matter what," she explained.
Hmmm. Isn't flushing fish down the toilet an Important Life Lesson? Some toddler rite of passage whereby we learn about death? And how else would parents deny you a puppy, unless they could point to the poor care you gave Spot the Goldfish?
Did you ever see the episode (#50) of Malcolm in the Middle where the parents do just that? They told Dewey if he kept a pet fish alive for a month, he would earn a bigger pet or something. So it shows the parents trying their darnedest to kill the fish, only to have Dewey produce a new one every morning.
Actually, the biggest impact this article had on me was the desire to become a veterinary fish specialist. Now that would be cool. I'd have a swanky office on Lake Shore Drive and treat wealthy ladies' Koi between 'tank calls' at the Shedd. Now that would be the life!
Three years ago, Joann Mead found her daughter's goldfish, Raven, floating on the surface of the water, but still alive. Fearing her daughter would be upset to find Raven in such a condition, Mead contacted Helen Roberts, a fish veterinarian in Orchard Park, N.Y., and made the six-hour drive to her clinic. Roberts inserted a quartz stone inside Raven's swim bladder, weighing Raven down so she wouldn't float to the surface. The X-rays and surgery cost well over $200. Mead said her friends told her she was crazy for spending so much time and money on a fish. But Mead feels she has a responsibility as a pet owner. "Fin, feather or fur, there is a moral obligation to take care of that pet, no matter what," she explained.
Hmmm. Isn't flushing fish down the toilet an Important Life Lesson? Some toddler rite of passage whereby we learn about death? And how else would parents deny you a puppy, unless they could point to the poor care you gave Spot the Goldfish?
Did you ever see the episode (#50) of Malcolm in the Middle where the parents do just that? They told Dewey if he kept a pet fish alive for a month, he would earn a bigger pet or something. So it shows the parents trying their darnedest to kill the fish, only to have Dewey produce a new one every morning.
Actually, the biggest impact this article had on me was the desire to become a veterinary fish specialist. Now that would be cool. I'd have a swanky office on Lake Shore Drive and treat wealthy ladies' Koi between 'tank calls' at the Shedd. Now that would be the life!
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