T-t-t-oo Cold t-t-to Type!

Brrr! This cold snap is killing me. I wasn't even going to post tonight. I was sitting on the couch in front of the fire contemplating putting on a second pair of socks when a History Channel special caught my attention. They did this thing on how ancient civilizations had advanced technology. You know, a variation on every History Channel show ever created. Watch long enough and you see the same lame actor footage used forty-seven different ways in three different dynasties. Whatever.

Well they were doing something about how the ancients had steam engines, and how they found the prints for tanks, cars, subs, etc. in Da Vinci's notebooks, etc. The best thing was some little golden 'insects' found in South America that at first glance were representations of bugs. Upon further inspection, they share more features of modern fighter jets than bees. That had some promise, and I was intrigued. But the worst part was saved for last. They wasted all this time on Did the Ancient Egyptians possess flight?

Seems in one of the oldest pyramids a wooden bird on a stick was found. Looked like a child's toy. Perhaps a model of a bird. Oh, no, contended a few 'experts' trotted out by HC. This crudely carved stick (with painted eyes and mouth, no less) wasn't just a bird. It was an aerodynamically designed glider. The Egyptians unlocked flight 2500 years before the Wright brothers.

Yeah, Wright.

Sure, I think the ancients had many things we don't know about. But finding a whittled falcon does not an air force make.

So they spend all this time reconstructing the bird in a larger scale and putting it in a wind tunnel. Gee, turns out the thing had no stability. But wait! Looks like something broke off the artifact. Why, it must be the rudder needed to fly as a glider! Yes, yes, that's it!

If that's not enough to turn you off the HC forever, they had this new age hippy 'expert' Dr. Ruth Hover showing a hieroglyphic of...(are you sitting down?) a helicopter!! Yep. Hand, bird, ankh, helicopter! It's right there! I'm going to bed. See you in spring.